Have you ever set a goal, worked toward it, achieved it—and then stood at the finish line wondering, is this it?
Maybe you aimed for a director role and got it. Maybe you finally hit the salary number you had in your head for years. And yet, there's something quietly unsatisfying about it. Not because it wasn't real. But because somewhere along the way, you made your dream small enough to feel safe. And safe, it turns out, doesn't always feel like enough.
There's a reason for that. And there's something worth doing about it.
The Running Lesson That Changed How I Think About Goals
When I started running, a 5k felt impossible. I couldn't imagine running 10k. It seemed like something other people did—people with a different body, more time, more discipline than me.
When I started learning from experienced runners, every single one of them said the same thing: if your goal is 10k, train for 13k. Don't practice running the distance you want to finish. Practice running further than you need to.
The reason stuck with me. If you can run 13k, then 10k becomes your floor, not your ceiling. It means that on the days when everything is off—it's too hot, the course has more hills than you expected, you didn't sleep well, your legs feel heavy—you still finish. Because you've built capacity beyond what the moment demands.
Your career works the same way.
If you only aim for exactly what you want, you have no buffer. Every obstacle, every setback, every unexpected challenge threatens the goal. But when you dream bigger than your target—when you build toward something beyond what you think you need—you create reserves. Resilience. Room to still succeed even when conditions aren't perfect.
And conditions are never perfect.
Dreaming Big Isn't About the Title or the Money
Let's be clear about something. When I talk about dreaming big, I'm not talking about chasing status for its own sake. I'm not talking about a specific title or a number in your bank account—unless that's genuinely what matters to you.
Dreaming big is about designing a life that feels like yours.
It's about work that energizes you instead of draining you. It's about relationships, time, creativity, and impact—not just output. It's about waking up on a Monday and feeling something other than dread. It's about building a career that reflects the full range of who you are, not just the most practical version of yourself.
That's what's at stake when you don't dream big enough. Not just a missed promotion. A missed life.
When you consistently undershoot your own aspirations, you end up building someone else's vision instead of your own. You optimize for "good enough" when "remarkable" was always available to you. You settle into roles that fit, rather than roles that stretch you toward what you actually want. Over time, that gap between where you are and where you know you could be becomes a quiet frustration that's hard to name—but impossible to ignore.
Why Women Leaders Resist Dreaming Big
In my work coaching high-achieving women, I've noticed that the resistance to big dreams is rarely about capability. It's almost always about something else.
1. Guilt: Dreaming big feels greedy.
Many women have been raised to prioritize others—their families, their teams, their organizations. So when a bold desire rises up ("I want to run this company," "I want to work from anywhere," "I want to be known for this work")—it can immediately be followed by a pang of guilt. Who am I to want so much? Isn't that selfish?
It isn't. Wanting a bigger, more meaningful life doesn't take anything away from anyone. In fact, the more you build a life aligned with what you truly value, the more you have to give—with clarity, energy, and intention rather than quiet resentment.
2. Fear of what success demands.
This one surprises people, but it's one of the most common patterns I see. Many women are not afraid of failing. They're afraid of succeeding.
Because success brings visibility. It brings attention, expectation, more responsibility—professionally and socially. It means stepping fully into your power in a world that doesn't always make that easy for women. And so the subconscious mind does something clever: it keeps your dreams modest enough that you never have to find out what happens if you actually get there.
3. Fear of losing yourself.
Underneath the ambition, there's often a quieter worry: Will I still be me? Will my friendships change? Will people treat me differently? Will I become someone my family doesn't recognize?
This isn't just about workload or responsibility. It's about identity. It's about belonging. Stepping into a bigger, bolder version of your career can feel like stepping away from the version of yourself that the people you love have always known. And that's a loss many women aren't sure they're willing to risk.
How to Actually Dream Bigger
Dreaming big is a practice. And like any practice, it starts with concrete steps.
Step 1: Allow yourself to want what you actually want—without thinking about how.
Start with the wildest, boldest version of your dream. Not the responsible one. Not the one you'd say out loud in a meeting. The one that makes you feel a little exposed just thinking it. Write it down. Don't edit it. Don't justify it. Just let it exist on the page.
Step 2: 10x it.
Whatever you just wrote—make it bigger. Not because you're committing to it, but because reaching for 10x forces your brain out of its habitual limits. You start to see possibilities that "realistic" thinking actively hides from you. This is exploration, not obligation. Let yourself roam.
Step 3: Build your roadmap.
Now, come back to what's genuinely yours. What resonated in all of that? What felt true, even if it's still a little scary? From everything you've been exploring, identify the top three things you want to set as goals for the next two years—and what needs to happen to get there. These become your direction. Not a fantasy. A plan.
Final Thought
You've already proven you can set a goal and reach it. You've already proven you can do hard things. The question worth sitting with now isn't can I do this? It's what am I not letting myself want?
Dreaming big is not reckless. It's not naive. And it's certainly not greedy. It is the courageous act of deciding that your life—not just your career, but your whole, actual life—is worth designing with intention.
Train for 13k. Run your 10k with ease. And then dream bigger again.
This dreaming-big exercise is one we do together in the Women Leaders Club—a space where accomplished women support each other in building careers and lives they're genuinely excited about. If it sounds interesting, come check it out.