Structure for Success

Have you ever felt you are not getting the success you want but you are not sure why? I hear this all the time. I have many clients who are smart, capable, and doing the work, yet their results feel stuck.

When that happens, they often focus on one thing: I need to improve this skill. I need to work harder. But success is not about trying harder in one area. Success requires structure.

Below are the six pillars of structure needed for real, repeatable progress: Vision/Goal, Strategy/Plan, Mindset, Skillset, and Energy. Review each one and see which pillar needs your attention right now. Strengthening the right one makes everything else work more smoothly.

👁️ Vision & Goal

What you want and why it matters.

A vague wish never becomes a reality. A clear vision does.

Ask yourself:

• Do I know exactly what I want to achieve?
• Can I describe what success looks like in concrete terms?
• Why does this matter to me deeply?
• What will be different in my life when I succeed?

Hint: If you can’t clearly picture it, your brain doesn’t know where to take you.

🧭 Strategy & Plan

The path to get there, intentionally, not reactively.

You might have the right vision but no real map.

Ask yourself:

• What are the key milestones between here and success?
• What’s the sequence? What needs to happen first?
• Where am I currently improvising instead of planning?
• What resources or support do I need?

Success loves clarity. If your plan lives only in your head, it isn’t a plan.

🧠 Mindset

How you think determines how far you’ll go.

Even the best strategy fails if your inner voice works against you.

Ask yourself:

• Do I believe this is possible for me?
• When I hit resistance, do I get curious or discouraged?
• Do I practice self-trust, or do I second-guess constantly?
• Am I operating from confidence or fear?

Courage and growth never feel comfortable, and that’s okay.

🛠️ Skillset

Tools and abilities: the practical capability to execute.

Sometimes the gap isn’t effort, it’s skills.

Ask yourself:

• What skills are essential for this goal?
• Which ones do I already have?
• Which ones do I need to develop — and how will I build them?
• Who has the skills I want? Can I learn from them?

You don’t need to be perfect, but you do need to grow.

⚡ Energy

Fuel to execute, consistently, not just when motivated.

You can’t create your future if you’re exhausted, distracted, or depleted.

Ask yourself:

• Do I have the physical and emotional energy to do this?
• What drains me? What restores me?
• Am I operating on stress and adrenaline or clarity and purpose?
• How do I support myself through challenging moments?

Ambition demands energy management as much as time management.

💡 Integration: Where to Focus First

Most people don’t fail because they’re “not good enough”, they just have a weak link.

Check in:

Pillar	Strong ✅	Needs attention ❗
Vision/Goal
Strategy/Plan
Mindset
Skillset
Energy

You don’t have to fix everything at once. Strengthen the pillar that matters most right now and momentum will follow.

✨ Closing

Success is not luck.

It’s structure + intention + aligned action.

When even one pillar is missing, progress feels slow and frustrating.

When all six are aligned, success becomes inevitable.

Which pillar needs your attention today?

Enjoy the Journey - Core Principle in the WLC

 There are 5 core principles in the Women Leaders Community. The last is "Enjoy the Journey."

The Importance of Enjoying the Journey

In high school, my sole focus was studying for the college entrance exam. I wasn't allowed to read novels, watch TV, or even join family vacations. The rule was clear: if I wanted to go to college, I had to give up everything else and just focus on my studies.

Balancing Work and Fun

In graduate school, while my peers enjoyed parties, ski trips, and travels, I went to dinner parties but avoided longer trips, like three-day ski strips or week-long travel to Europe for a classmate's wedding. I believed I needed to focus solely on finishing my PhD. Looking back, I realize I didn't study as effectively as I thought and could have enjoyed those experiences. However, the self-imposed rule was so strong that I feared failing if I deviated.

After earning my degree, I began to have more fun. I got my private pilot's license, tried salsa dancing, and indulged in activities I enjoyed, like hiking and theater performances. But when I got pregnant, my focus shifted to activities for my son, like kids' birthday parties and camping. It took about 15 years before I felt I could return to my own fun activities.

Embracing Fun as a Value

Reflecting on my journey, I realize I lived my life focused on achieving goals and postponing enjoyment. Now, I feel that the time for enjoyment is now, or it will never come. Fun has become one of my top values.

I've taken up running, started ballet, gone for more walks, signed up for pottery classes, tried wood carving and painting, and returned to attending performances. Interestingly, these activities don’t take as much time as I thought. I could have done them all along, maybe not all at once, but one at a time. However, I worried that indulging in these activities would make me lose focus and hinder my progress.

Most of my clients share this mindset. They say, "I’d love to do it, but I don't have time," or "I can't do that now, maybe later." When I help them think small, they often find things they can do right now. They are often surprised by how these small, doable actions add little joys to their lives.

Dealing with Pain and Growth

Another aspect of enjoying the journey is dealing with pain. Growth requires stepping out of our comfort zone, which inevitably comes with discomfort.

When I entered the industry, I was good at my job but struggled with interviews. Because there was no place I could learn, out of desperation, I decided to experiment by applying to roles I wasn't interested in just to gain interview experience. I noted what interviewers liked and disliked, iterated my responses, and tried again in the next interview.

Even though I knew I didn't want those roles, getting rejection emails still hurt. I focused on the progress I made, but the rejections stung. In retrospect, I could have celebrated those rejections as steps toward my goal. Each rejection was a milestone, an opportunity to learn and improve.

Celebrating Failures

Now, I celebrate every time I do something scary, even if I fail. Celebrating failures as milestones toward success helps build resilience. Angela Duckworth's book "Grit: The Power of Passion and Perseverance" highlights the importance of grit for success. My insight is that finding fun in hardship is crucial to developing grit. By celebrating failures, enjoying small activities, and seeing setbacks as milestones, we can become grittier and more successful. What's one fun activity you will do this week?

Why Rising from Setbacks is Tough and How to Make It Easier

 

As a leader, coach, and mentor, I often encounter individuals who experience setbacks. They feel all their hard work is wasted and they need to start over from scratch, and they have a hard time motivating themselves. It's challenging to instill even a tiny bit of hope that their efforts were not in vain and that it's okay to be patient, relax, and recharge before starting again. I understand how difficult it is, as I've been through it myself.

I found my love for running in 2021. I did my first-ever 10K run that year and in 2022, I finished my first and only half marathon. I was slow, I got injured and recovered, and I unknowingly finished the half marathon with COVID within the time limit. For almost two years, I made progress, my cardio capacity and muscle strength for running improved, allowing me to run for three hours straight. I was enjoying running but also this progress.

However, I hit a setback after the half marathon. I found myself in a constant state of feeling "under the weather." Most of the times, I was not feeling well and so tired. Running became impossible, and even walking was challenging. This lasted for almost a year, leading me to leave my corporate job in hopes of regaining my energy.

Three months passed with no improvement, and I started to fear that I might never return to my previous fitness level. When I attempted to run again, my Garmin showed a significant drop in my VO2Max level.

I felt a mix of fear and anger. Fear that I may not get fit again, especially considering human health levels typically decline after peaking in their 20s and 30s. I felt like my starting point of decline was much lower. Anger that all my previous 2 years of effort was wasted and I have to start all over again.

It's easy to say that all your time and effort is not wasted and will help somehow, even if you don't realize it. But it doesn't feel that way when you can't see the immediate benefits.

Eventually, I started to run again. Because I actually love running. And I changed my goal, deciding not to obsess with getting back to my old records or fitness level. Listen to my body, enjoy again, if I get there again great, if not great, I am having fun. Not doing any exercise is just not an option, because I am on a declining slide. Even if it keeps me at the same height on the curve, that's better than going down.

Two months later, I participated in the Hot Chocolate Run in Golden Gate Park. It's my favorite running event and I highly recommend it to everyone. A friend of mine joined who is not a runner. She was mixing walking and running to finish the 5K, and I was running next to her. So, yes, I was running at walking speed. But I ran the entire 5K without a break or walk. I was so happy. One, because I really enjoyed it. And two, because I felt hope. Starting again didn't seem as bad, and I was more happy that I could do my favorite exercise again.

We run into setbacks in life, and it's not easy to bounce back. But it is a skill we can learn, practice, and improve, much like building muscle through exercise.

We are starting Adaptability and Resilience Unit on March 12. Learn more ways to persevere setbacks a little easier. 

The Power of Purpose: How Ha Nguyen Transforms Challenges into Triumphs

 In life, we all face challenges. For some, these challenges can be overwhelming and exhausting. But for others, like Ha Nguyen, challenges are stepping stones to success. The key difference lies in understanding the 'why' behind the struggle.

Consider the concept of a bootcamp. Those who endure its rigors do so because they see the value and purpose in it. They know that their hard work and perseverance will lead to a desirable outcome. But when people face hardships without understanding their purpose or how it will benefit them, the journey becomes much more difficult.

I recently had the opportunity to meet Ha Nguyen, a person whose career achievements are as impressive as her work ethic. Ha's journey is a testament to the idea that you must work hard to achieve your dreams. She doesn't just believe in earning what you want; she lives it.

Despite working long hours, Ha doesn't exhibit the usual signs of tiredness or exhaustion. Instead, she radiates energy and confidence. This is because her work isn't just a means to earn money; it's her passion. She finds joy in making a positive impact on the world and humanity. For Ha, the hustle isn't just a necessity; it's a source of fun and fulfillment.

Ha's formidable work ethic and purpose-driven life are deeply rooted in her background. Arriving in the United States from Vietnam at the age of two as a refugee, she saw her parents leave everything behind for a better future for their children. Ha recalls her parents' relentless hard work. They might not have had much time for parenting in the traditional sense, but they instilled in their children the values of courage, perseverance, and a strong work ethic – not through their words, but through their actions.

From Ha's story, we learn a vital lesson: when we understand and align with our purpose, challenges transform into opportunities. Her journey is a powerful reminder that when we connect our work with a greater purpose, the path, no matter how tough, becomes enjoyable and meaningful.

Let Ha's story inspire you to find your 'why' and approach your challenges with a renewed sense of purpose and passion. Remember, it's not just about enduring the hard times; it's about thriving through them.

Why Change Often Fails: The Unseen Obstacles

In my previous post, I encouraged you to embrace change and prioritize self-care, if not for your own well-being, then for your children. Have you taken the first step yet? If not, be gentle with yourself; after all, making change is difficult.

Here are four reasons why making changes in our lives can be difficult, even when we're fully aware that we want to:

1. You Don't Want It For Now

You may already be content with your current efforts and not feel no need for improvement, or you might have other pressing priorities that take precedence.

I once had a conversation with a highly accomplished woman leader. She thrived on her work and openly admitted to being a workaholic. Surprisingly, she expressed a desire to reduce her work hours. I questioned her, saying, "You don't seem to genuinely want that change. Why do you say you want it?" She chuckled and replied that it simply sounded nice to her.

Do you find yourself contemplating changes because they're what everyone else seems to want, even when you don't truly need them? It's perfectly okay not to desire what others do. Every situation has its pros and cons. While we often associate workaholism with burnout and strained relationships, it can also drive us toward success. You don't have to make changes until you genuinely want them.

2. Your Environment Is Holding You Back

There is a well-known story from Korea about Mencius' mother, who moved three times for her son. First, they lived near a cemetery, and her son was imitating the mourners. She then moved near a market, where her son started mimicking the behavior of merchants. Finally, she moved near a school, and her son emulated the scholars, ultimately leading him to become one of China's greatest philosophers.

One of the reasons I came to the US was to escape such constraints. Society had already decided what I should think, say, and how I should behave, but that wasn't who I truly was. The ideal life they portrayed for me was incompatible with my desires. I believed that I had a better chance of living the life I wanted in the US than back home.

Are you attempting to cultivate a garden in Antarctica? It's bound to be extra challenging. If your environment is holding you back, it might be time to make changes. This could mean distancing yourself from an unsupportive friend circle or reevaluating a job that leaves you feeling drained. Surround yourself with an environment that makes it easier to achieve what you desire. Surround yourself with an environment that makes it easier to achieve what you desire.

3. You Don't Have Energy to Spare

There was a psychology experiment: one group of people was asked to eat and evaluate the taste of chocolate chip cookies. In contrast, another group was asked to eat and evaluate the taste of raw radishes, with a plateful of chocolate chip cookies on the table. Afterwards, both groups were presented with an unsolvable puzzle. The cookie group persevered for an average of 19 minutes, whereas the radish group gave up after just 8 minutes. Why?

The answer lies in energy. Every small frustration, every bit of willpower spent resisting temptation, drains the energy needed for more significant challenges. Think about those days when you're running on empty, when your patience wears thin, and even minor tasks seem overwhelmingly difficult.

In the corporate world, I recall those meetings without clear goals and agendas being energy-draining. Sometimes, there was someone I felt I had to explain the same thing to repeatedly, and they never seemed to grasp it. I used to believe it was part of my job to attend those meetings and repeat myself. Now I wonder, was it truly the optimal choice? What opportunities did I lose because of this choice?

Do you have a change that you want and you know it'll improve your life, but just don't have energy to make that change? Consider conducting an energy audit in your own life. Identify what depletes your energy, whether it's people, places, items, thoughts, or habits. Perhaps there are things you want to say no to but find challenging or activities you wish to pursue but feel restricted by. Eliminating these small energy drains can provide you with the reserve you need to pursue the changes you desire.

4. You Think It Won't Work

I have weight issues. Even though my friends say it's not too bad, the truth is, I'm overweight, and it's harming my health. I know I need to lose these extra pounds. I've tried to lose weight several times in my life, and sometimes I succeeded temporarily, but I always went back to my old weight. I've learned a lot about nutrition and exercise, so I know exactly what to do, but I struggled to find the motivation. During a recent coaching session, I had a realization: I believed it wouldn't work. Understanding this mental block was the key to rekindling my motivation.

Do you yearn for something but secretly doubt about its success? Have you explored every avenue, only to feel stuck with no way out? Keep in mind, there is always another way. It's just not visible to you yet. Seek for help, spread the words, you'll see multiple other ways.

Recognizing the obstacles that may be holding you back from making positive changes is the first step towards overcoming them. Whether you're not ready for a change, hindered by your environment, lacking energy, or doubting the effectiveness of change, understanding these barriers can empower you to navigate them. So, which of these obstacles resonates with you the most?