The 3Cs: Key Elements to Achieve Your Dreams Faster

Coaching is an incredibly fulfilling job. I witness people not only embarking on their journey toward their dreams sooner and reaching significant milestones faster than they imagined but also some achieving their goals ahead of schedule. Here are three key elements that consistently help them achieve their dreams faster.

1. Clarity and Purpose

Many people struggle with decision-making or burnout because they can't say no. They overcommit to please others and often feel like they’re running on a hamster wheel—working hard but unsure of where they’re headed. Some people even feel a lack of motivation and find that nothing excites them anymore. These are clear signs of a lack of clarity and purpose.

One client frequently missed family meals due to work she volunteered for, believing it was necessary for her career. She thought this was just part of having a job, and since her career was important, it felt justifiable. However, she began to feel that family mealtimes were equally important and wanted to say no to additional work that conflicted with them. But she was afraid of how others might react since she had never set such boundaries before.

Through coaching, she gained clarity on what truly mattered to her at this stage in her life. With this newfound clarity, she cared less about others' reactions because her priorities became clear. She set boundaries, and to her surprise, not only was she much happier, but others also respected her more for being clear about her values.

Now, she feels fulfilled having family meals, can make confident decisions about everything in her life, and, by focusing on what’s important to her, she is more energetic and content than ever. Without coaching, she might still be tolerating things that don’t matter to her, just as she had done for much of her life, instead of focusing on what truly matters.

2. Creativity

Some people know what they want but struggle to find the opportunity. They feel like there is no room for growth at work, or they believe they can’t pursue what they want until something changes, like getting a higher job title. These are symptoms of a lack of creativity.

One client, an executive in the tech industry, had a hidden dream she had almost forgotten about—one day, she wanted to own a restaurant. Although she wasn’t ready to leave the tech industry because she still enjoyed her work, this dream lingered in the background as a “one day, someday” plan. When I asked her when she might start working on this ultimate dream, she mentioned it might be 10 years down the line, or perhaps even later, after retirement.

During our coaching sessions, we explored the aspects she loved about the idea of owning a restaurant and discussed small ways she could start incorporating those elements into her life right now. She decided to create a menu and test it with her friends. After receiving positive feedback, she took it a step further and started an ad-hoc food truck business, all while keeping her day job. She realized she didn’t have to choose between her career and her dream—she could have both. Without coaching, this dream might not have been considered for another 10 years or more.

Another client felt she was stuck at her current level for too long and saw no room for growth within her company. When I asked her what kind of opportunity she was looking for, she had a wealth of ideas about what her organization should be doing and was passionate about executing them. However, she was frustrated that many of her ideas weren’t even being considered.

Through coaching, we explored how some of these ideas could be implemented right away and how she could share her vision more effectively to build consensus. She began sharing her vision and taking on additional work to demonstrate results. In just a few short months, the company created a new role specifically for her, allowing her to focus on what she was truly passionate about. Without coaching, she might still be searching for opportunities where her ideas would be recognized.

3. Courage

Some people know what they want to do or what they need to do to achieve their dreams, but they find themselves procrastinating or avoiding action. Sometimes, they create excuses to justify inaction, convincing themselves that not doing anything is also a valid option. They often tolerate situations they dislike because they’re scared to take the necessary steps. Even when a perfect opportunity arises, they hesitate, waiting for others to nominate them out of fear of rejection. These are clear symptoms of a lack of courage.

An Asian client was an avid blogger and speaker, but after encountering a few nasty reactions related to Asian hate, she hesitated to speak up. It bothered her deeply because it wasn’t true to who she was, and she felt strongly about combating Asian hate. She struggled between the desire to speak up again and the thought that it was okay to remain silent because she was too busy anyway.

Through coaching, she reconnected with her purpose for speaking out. It wasn’t just about expressing herself—it was about raising awareness and standing against Asian hate. This purpose became even more important to her when she realized that if no one speaks up, her children could face the same discrimination, which she couldn’t tolerate. Once she understood her purpose, she found the strength and courage to share her thoughts openly, without self-filtering. Without coaching, she might have continued to tolerate these behaviors for much longer.

Another client struggled with interviews, fearing that if she didn’t give the 'correct' answers, she wouldn’t be liked or might be seen as incompetent. This fear kept her from sharing her true vision, which was preventing her from being perceived as a leader. Through coaching sessions, she gained awareness of this fear and found the courage to express her vision and thoughts more openly. To her surprise, she received multiple job offers, and one of them was for a higher-level position than she had applied for. Without coaching, it might have taken her many more months to reach that title.

Which One Sounds Like You?

If you find yourself in any of these situations, know that you're not alone. Gaining clarity, tapping into your creativity, and finding the courage to move forward are all within your reach. Whether you’re looking to make a small change or a big leap, exploring the support available to you might be the next step. The Women Leaders Community, starting September 3, could be a great place to begin. And if you ever want to talk about your next steps, I’m here to help. Feel free to share this with anyone who might find it helpful too.

How to Be Seen as a Leader: Find Out 4 Key Ways

You know you are good at what you do and have the potential to make a greater impact. Yet, it can be frustrating when others don’t see you as a leader. Here are four key reasons why this may happen and how to address them to elevate your leadership presence and influence.

1. Do You Take Ownership?

True leaders take full responsibility for their roles and are proactive in seeing the big picture. They have a vision of what success looks like for their organization and care deeply about achieving it. They don't shy away from tasks that might not be explicitly part of their job descriptions.

If you often find yourself saying, “That’s not my job,” or if you feel stuck because your manager’s instructions are vague and you lack your own ideas about what needs to be done, you might not be ready for a leadership role. Ask yourself, do you genuinely want this leadership role, or do you just think you should have it?

Do you have your own vision and sense of ownership but feel limited by your current title? Ask yourself what you believe a higher title would allow you to do that you can’t do right now. Then consider whether there are ways to start doing those things now, even without the title. Remember, leadership doesn’t require a title; you can lead from any position or role. You’ll be promoted only when others see your actions as those of a leader.

Embrace the mindset of ownership by:

• Taking Initiative: Look for opportunities to contribute beyond your assigned tasks and take the lead on projects that align with your vision.
• Being Accountable: Own your actions and decisions, learn from mistakes, and continuously seek ways to improve.
• Thinking Strategically: Understand the broader goals of the organization and align your efforts with those objectives.

2. Are You Seen As a Leader?

If you're already taking ownership but still feel overlooked, you might not be advocating for yourself enough. Many people do the work but hesitate to share their achievements, fearing it may come across as bragging. However, stating facts is not bragging. Simply share what you accomplished and the impact it had. If you find this challenging, consider partnering with a colleague initially to exchange compliments, but eventually, you’ll need to become comfortable doing it yourself.

Many people in this situation don’t speak up at meetings, often feeling they don’t add value or might be stepping on others’ toes. If you find yourself saying, “I don’t know enough,” or “I’m sure they’ve covered everything,” remember that you can always ask questions and contribute meaningfully.

While others may be experts on a specific project, you bring expertise from different areas. Your questions and comments can offer insights they might not have considered. That’s the value you add. Use phrases like, “I’ll play devil’s advocate here,” or, “I have one concern and would like to hear your perspective,” to make it easier to speak up.

If you feel you lack knowledge about the basics, take the initiative to learn. To be a leader, you must understand everyone’s work at a high level. Reach out to colleagues to learn more about their work and about them as individuals. Everyone appreciates interest in their work and themselves.

Besides these steps, consider enhancing your presence by attending industry events, participating in webinars, and sharing your expertise on professional platforms. This helps build a reputation beyond your immediate circle and opens up opportunities for networking and collaboration.

Increase your visibility by:

• Speaking Up: Share your achievements and insights confidently in meetings and discussions. Remember, stating facts is not bragging.
• Networking Actively: Build relationships with colleagues and leaders in your organization to exchange ideas and gain support.
• Developing Presence: Use confident body language, such as taking a front seat at meetings and speaking with a clear voice. Practice reducing filler words to project confidence.

3. Are You Resourceful?

Leadership isn't about doing everything yourself; it's about enabling and motivating others, often without formal authority. You must be creative in finding resources like venues, people, and budgets. If you struggle with this, leadership positions can become stressful.

Fortunately, resourcefulness is a skill you can develop. While leadership may grant some authority and resources, they are rarely enough on their own. Leaders often feel constrained by demands, so be resourceful to free yourself. Influence others, create time, and develop minimum viable solutions instead of perfect ones. Find ways to expand your budget and rally people to support your vision.

One of the most important resources is people. Care about them, not just their work. Help them achieve their goals, recognize their contributions, and never take credit for their efforts. Build trust and foster strong relationships. Ultimately, leadership is all about people and how you empower them to succeed.

Enhance your resourcefulness by:

• Leveraging People: Build strong relationships and empower others to contribute their best work. Recognize their efforts and help them achieve their goals.
• Finding Creative Solutions: Look for innovative ways to overcome constraints and achieve your objectives, even with limited resources.
• Cultivating Influence: Learn to influence others without formal authority by aligning their interests with your vision and goals.

4. Do You Remain Calm?

Warren Buffet once said, "When the tide goes out, you can see who’s been swimming naked."

When things are going well, anyone can pretend to be a leader. True leaders reveal themselves in times of crisis by remaining calm and confident, helping their teams stay focused and work together to find solutions.

True leaders make tough decisions and guide their teams through pivots, ensuring everyone understands the reasons behind the changes. Because they involve their team in decision-making, everyone feels invested in the outcome and believes they can achieve success together.

By maintaining composure and demonstrating confidence, you inspire trust and foster a collaborative environment where challenges are met with collective strength and determination.

Maintain calm and confidence by:

• Practicing Composure: Develop techniques to manage stress and remain calm during crises, setting a positive example for your team.
• Making Informed Decisions: Clearly communicate the rationale behind tough decisions and pivots to ensure team alignment and understanding.
• Encouraging Collaboration: Foster an environment where your team feels supported and empowered to tackle challenges together, reinforcing collective resilience.

Conclusion

We've explored four key pillars of leadership: Ownership, Visibility, Resourcefulness, and Calm. Reflect on which pillar resonates most with you and identify the steps you can take today to enhance your leadership skills. If you still need support in developing these areas, consider joining the Women Leaders Community or reaching out to me directly. Embrace these pillars and watch yourself grow into the leader you are meant to be. Start your journey now, and make your leadership mark.

The Power of Clarity to Transform

Ever felt like something was missing despite your success? I'd like to share a life-changing story of one of my clients. 

She worked for a big tech company and was successful but felt something was missing. She decided to take some time off and hired me as her life coach. Through this process, she discovered her core values and what truly mattered in her life. While she had always sensed these values, they had never been clear. She had a tendency to be a perfectionist and a people pleaser, often struggling to say no and over-volunteering even when her manager said she didn’t have to.

Now, with a clear understanding of her values, she’s starting to say no to things she used to agree to. It’s challenging, but she has the courage to do it because her values are so important to her. Doing what’s truly important to her has made others' opinions less significant. This newfound confidence has allowed her to be more authentic, leading to greater respect from her peers. People now acknowledge and respect her boundaries without her needing to say a word.

She’s also become more aware of how different people affect her energy. She keeps her distance from those who drain her and enjoys a calmer state of mind.

Her life is now completely transformed. She used to wonder, "Who am I without my job title?" Now, she feels like she's finally at her home base. I'm incredibly proud of her and honored to be part of her journey of hatching out of an eggshell into a new world.

Who are you without your job title? If you find this question difficult to answer, try a life coach and discover the clarity and transformation waiting for you.

Do you know this woman?

She consistently delivers outstanding results but often goes unnoticed in the bustling office environment. Her hard work and productivity are unmatched, and she excels in her role with quiet confidence. In meetings, she rarely speaks up unless directly asked, but when she does, her deep knowledge shines through. Despite her expertise, she doesn’t volunteer her opinions or engage in debates, preferring to work independently. Socially, she maintains a distance, focusing intently on her tasks, leaving colleagues curious about the person behind the remarkable work.

She never asks for help, even when the workload is demanding, and she completes her tasks with impressive efficiency. Her self-reliance makes her an invaluable asset to the team, yet she seems isolated. She rarely volunteers for projects or seeks new opportunities, content to let her work speak for itself. This reluctance to step forward means many opportunities pass her by, unnoticed by both her and her peers. As a result, she may miss out on potential advancements and recognition that her talents deserve.

If you see this woman, consider how you might help her shine. Encourage her to share her ideas and acknowledge her contributions. Recognizing the quiet talent in your workplace can lead to incredible outcomes. One way to support her is by sharing information about the Women Leaders Community, a program designed for successful women ready to make their next big leap. This can help her become more visible and take charge of her potential. Look around your workplace and ask yourself—who might be the next woman to benefit from your encouragement and support?

Quitting vs. Letting Go

The Stigma of Quitting

When I think about quitting, it often brings to mind images of failure and defeat—the notion that only those who can’t endure the challenge give up. This belief has been ingrained in me since childhood: once you set a goal, you should never quit. Success, I was told, belongs not to the best but to those who never give up.

Balancing Responsibilities

When I started managing a team while still handling technical work, I was proud of balancing both roles. I loved staying hands-on with the technical tasks and leading my team towards success. However, the dual responsibilities became overwhelming, and I found myself sacrificing too much time for myself and my family. My manager suggested, "Maybe it's time to let go of the technical work."

I resisted. I was scared. What if my technical skills lagged? Could I thrive as solely a people manager?

The Necessity of Letting Go

The truth is, to excel in something new, you need to let go of something old. It's like needing to empty your glass to pour in more water. Our capacity is finite, like the size of a glass.

A former colleague once told me that to advance in my career, I must teach everything I know to others. If I hoard my skills to secure my job, I can't grow. Instead, teach what you know and then learn the next level of skills to keep advancing. This shocked me, because I thought I needed to have unique skills to be indispensable.

Quitting vs. Letting Go

The key difference is between quitting and letting go. Quitting is running away from something challenging because it's too scary or difficult. Letting go, however, is a strategic choice to free up capacity to embrace something new. It's a deliberate, intentional decision for growth. The question is, what will you let go of, and what will you add in its place?

Join Us in the Journey

The Women Leaders Community can help you decide what to let go of, how to create space for what you truly want, and do so without the guilt or shame of quitting. Join us to learn more about making these intentional, empowering choices in your life.

Highlights from a Stanford Physics Career Talk

I recently had the privilege of serving as a panelist for a career talk hosted by the Stanford Physics Department, alongside four other wonderful panelists. It was an enriching experience where we shared valuable insights and advice. Here are some highlights from our discussion.

Q: How do you decide to move to another industry when you have already invested so much in this field?

Focus on what you still want to achieve in your current field. If there are still many things you want to try, it may not be the right time to leave. However, if you feel like you've enjoyed your time but nothing else excites you, it might be time to explore new opportunities.

If you find yourself thinking, "If I spend another year, I can get this title," question whether that title is truly what you desire and if it aligns with what’s important to you. This will help clarify your true goals and whether it's time to move on.

Q: How do you find work-life balance?

Achieving work-life balance in a corporate setting can be challenging. Corporations often care more about the output you deliver than the hours you put in. While they may not explicitly ask you to work long hours, the workload often demands it. Setting boundaries and saying no is important, but it can be tricky.

That being said, there are ways to improve work-life balance:

1. Understand What's Important: Often, tasks assigned to you may not be as critical as they seem. This could be due to a lack of deep thinking about the best solution or because it falls outside the expertise of those assigning the work. Sometimes, only one person really cares about your work, and nobody else notices. Learn the business you're part of and distinguish between important and less important tasks. Focus on solving the truly important problems and suggest solutions that deliver big impact but require less effort. This approach not only saves you time but also demonstrates desirable leadership skills.
2. Manage Your Work Intensity: There will be times when extra effort is required to ensure high-quality results, and there will be times when it's okay to slow down. Recognize these periods and plan your level of effort accordingly. This helps create time for self-care and prevents burnout, even if the level of pressure from work is consistent.

Q: How does studying Physics help you with your career?

There are numerous benefits to studying Physics. Physics graduates typically possess strong problem-solving skills and have the confidence to tackle big challenges. Additionally, others often respect the analytical and rigorous training that comes with a Physics background. However, we also discussed how pure sciences, in general, may not seem immediately 'useful.' You study pure science because it’s fun and interesting to you, not necessarily because it has direct applications. But when you look back later, you'll realize how much you benefited from it in various aspects of your career.

So, focus on what you really want. Do you want a major that helps you reach a certain job, or do you prefer to follow what’s interesting and meaningful to you?

Q: What advice would you give to your younger self or to students?

Don’t worry too much about finding the "right" path. Most likely, any path you choose will turn out to be good. Explore all your curiosities, even those outside your current field. They may lead you to your next path or may not, but collecting those data points about who you are and what you really want is crucial in getting closer to your true dream.

Confidence vs. Skills: The Leadership Balancing Act

When I first transitioned from academia to the tech industry, I faced a significant challenge: interviews. Despite excelling at my job, my interview skills were lacking. People often advised me to "just be confident," implying that confidence alone would secure a successful interview. While there is some truth to this—my repeated rejections eroded my confidence—the real issue was my lack of interview skills.

Interview Skills vs. Job Skills

I remember hearing about someone who excelled in interviews but struggled to maintain performance once hired. For me, the opposite was true. Interviews were daunting, but once I secured a job, I thrived. Interviewing is a distinct skill separate from job performance, and it can be learned.

Some challenges with interview skills include:

1. Finding Support: It's tough to find help with interview skills, as colleagues may not assist in improving your techniques.
2. Domain-Specific Questions: While generic questions help, mastering domain-specific questions is crucial.
3. Variable Interviewer Quality: Sometimes, interviewers ask irrelevant questions, yet their feedback still impacts hiring decisions.
4. Confidence vs. Skill: Misinterpreting the need for confidence over honing actual interview skills.

Confidence at Different Career Stages

Confidence plays a different role depending on your career stage. For entry-level positions, confidence isn't as critical. Employers understand that fresh graduates lack extensive experience and knowledge. Overconfidence at this stage can even be detrimental. What matters more is the candidate's mindset, proactive efforts, and basic skills meeting the minimum requirements.

I recall hiring a recent graduate who was visibly nervous during the interview but remained composed, thoughtfully answering questions. Today, she is a confident leader at another company, proving that confidence grows with experience.

Confidence in Leadership

For leaders, confidence is essential. It stems from past experiences—having opinions, testing them, facing successes and failures, and learning from those experiences. This type of confidence is not about posture or gestures. Mimicking the outward signs of confidence does not make one genuinely confident. True confidence is about conviction in your ideas, knowing why something should be done, and believing in your ability to lead the effort.

Join the Women Leaders Community

At the Women Leaders Community, we emphasize developing genuine confidence by recognizing your strengths and learning from your history. We help you build your ideal role based on your true desires, think creatively to open up more opportunities, and overcome self-doubt to take bold actions. If you aspire to leadership but struggle to be seen as a leader, our program can help you realize your potential and lead with confidence. Check out the Women Leaders Community program to start sculpting your success today.