Outreach Tips for Building New Connections

Networking is more important than ever when it comes to creating opportunities. But reaching out to someone you don’t know can feel intimidating.

The key question to ask yourself is: Why would this person make time for me?

If your request feels too big or unclear, it can create discomfort. If they don’t know what you want to talk about, they may hesitate to respond. Make your request clear and specific so they can easily imagine what the conversation will be about. When people know what to expect, they’re much more likely to say yes.

• Keep it short—ask for 20 minutes. It’s long enough to have a meaningful conversation but short enough to feel like a small ask. And if things go well, it can naturally extend to 30 minutes, as most meetings start on the hour or half-hour.
• Make it easy to say yes. Most professionals are happy to help, but asking for a referral, resume review, or introduction right away can feel like too much. Instead, start by asking for insights and advice—this makes the conversation feel lighter and more enjoyable.
• Be upfront about your topic. If you say you want to talk about their career journey, stick to it—don’t surprise them with a request for a job. However, if the conversation naturally flows into that, great!

Think of this as opening a relationship, not just a one-time conversation. The most important thing is leaving a strong impression—that you’re smart, capable, and great to work with. That way, when opportunities come up in the future, they’ll think of you.

Here Are Some Ways You Can Request a Chat

Now that you know how to approach these conversations, here are six ways to phrase your request depending on the situation. Try the approach that feels right for you, and test it out. If you’re reaching out to multiple people, track what works best across industries, functions, and company sizes—you might notice interesting patterns!

1️⃣ Interest in Their Role/Experience

👉 “I’m interested in a role similar to yours at [Company] and would love to hear about your experience. What do you enjoy most, and what challenges have you faced? I have a few questions and would appreciate your insights. Would you be open to a 20-minute chat?”

2️⃣ Reference Their Work or Thought Leadership

👉 “I read your work on [topic] and found it really insightful. I have a few questions about your approach and some ideas I’d love to get your thoughts on. Would you be open to a 20-minute chat?”

3️⃣ Mutual Connection or Common Interest

👉 “I was speaking with [mutual connection], and they mentioned you’d be a great person to learn from about [topic]. I’d love to hear how you approached [specific challenge or transition] and ask a few quick questions. Would you be open to a 20-minute chat?”

4️⃣ Specific Career Transition or Advice

👉 “I’m transitioning into [industry/role] and noticed you made a similar move from [previous role] to [current role]. I’d love to hear what helped you the most during that transition and ask a few questions. Would you be open to a 20-minute chat?”

5️⃣ Company or Team-Specific Interest

👉 “I’ve heard great things about [Company], especially [specific aspect—e.g., its reputation, culture, or innovation in X]. I’d love to learn more about what it’s like to work there and how your team approaches [relevant topic]. Would you be open to a 20-minute chat?”

6️⃣ Direct & Concise Approach

👉 “I admire your work in [industry/field] and would love to learn from your experience. Specifically, I’d love to ask about [topic, e.g., how you navigated leadership growth in tech]. Would you be open to a 20-minute chat?”

Build Relationships That Open Doors

Networking isn’t just about one conversation—it’s about building long-term relationships. Every great career opportunity starts with a connection, and the more conversations you have, the more doors you open.

If you need help crafting the right message or navigating networking conversations, feel free to reach out—I’d be happy to help! 

Self-Reflection Exercise: Clarifying Your Core Values

Do you struggle with decision-making? Not sure if you should stay or leave your current job? Debating between multiple offers but can’t figure out which is the right one?

Chances are, it’s because you’re not fully clear on what’s truly important to you.

Your core values are like your internal GPS—they shape how you want to navigate your career and life. Imagine planning a road trip:

• Do you want to take the fastest highway route, focused on efficiency?
• Or would you rather take the scenic route, making stops along the way to enjoy the journey?

Both paths lead to the destination, but the experience is entirely different. That’s what core values do—they define how you want to get to your goal.

When you clarify your values, decision-making becomes easier. You’ll know what to prioritize, which opportunities to pursue, and which ones don’t align with the life you want.

This exercise will help you identify your top values so you can make career choices that truly reflect what matters most to you.

Prepare for the Exercise

This exercise will take about 15–20 minutes. To get the most out of it, find a quiet place where you can focus without interruptions.

🧘 Set yourself up for success:

• Sit in a comfortable position, feet flat on the ground.
• Close your eyes and take three deep breaths—inhale deeply, hold for a moment, and exhale slowly.
• Let go of distractions and bring your attention to yourself.

When you feel calm and present, begin the exercise.

Step 1: Visualize Your Ideal Life

Close your eyes and imagine a life where everything feels balanced and fulfilling.

🤔 Ask Yourself:

• What does a deeply fulfilling career and life look like for me?
• Where am I working? What does my environment feel like?
• What kind of work am I doing? Am I leading, creating, problem-solving?
• Who am I surrounded by? Am I working solo or collaborating with a team?
• What moments bring me the most joy and meaning?

Take at least 2 minutes to really immerse yourself in this vision.

Step 2: Identify the Values You’re Honoring

Now, think about why this vision feels fulfilling.

🤔 Ask Yourself:

• What values am I honoring in this life?
• Am I prioritizing freedom or stability?
• Do I value collaboration over independence?
• Is it more important to me to go fast or go together?

Here are Value Inventories to help spark ideas. You’re not limited to what’s listed—you can absolutely choose values outside of these lists if they resonate more with you.

A few important tips:

• Choose values that are one words, not full sentences.
• Focus on what you do want, not what you want to avoid.
• Instead of "I don't want to feel undervalued", you may choose you want to feel "Confidence"
• Pick what feels true to you, not what sounds good or what others expect.

Write down at least 10 values that resonate with you.

Step 3: Refine Your Core Values

Now, review your list and narrow it down.

🔍 Look for patterns:

• Do certain values overlap or reinforce each other?
• Which values are non-negotiable for your happiness and success?

✍ Circle your top 3 values. These are your key guiding principles—the ones you want your career and life to be built around.

📌 Example:

• Creativity
• Autonomy
• Impact

💡 Final Reflection:

Now, write a short mantra or statement that captures your core values.

📌 Example:

“I thrive when I have the freedom to create, take ownership of my work, and know that what I do makes a meaningful impact.”

Final Reflection

✨ Check In With Yourself:

• Were there any surprises in this exercise?
• Are you currently honoring your top values in your career?
• If not, what small steps can you take to align your work with what truly matters to you?

Put your top values and mantra somewhere visible—on your monitor, your bathroom mirror, or as your phone background.

Let them serve as a daily reminder of what truly matters to you. Revisit them regularly, reflect on them, and use them to guide your choices. The more you connect with your values, the more natural and grounded they’ll feel in your everyday life and work.

Whenever you’re faced with a decision, come back to your values—you’ll find the answer comes more easily.

This is one of the exercises we do in the Women Leaders Club. Want to dive deeper and explore more like this? Join us!

Self-Reflection Exercise: Uncovering What You Enjoy

Many people build their careers based on what they’re good at, what’s practical, or what earns them praise—without stopping to ask:

• Do I actually enjoy this?
• Would I still love doing this if no one acknowledged it?

This exercise will help you uncover the activities that truly bring you joy by identifying patterns in your past experiences. By the end, you’ll have a clearer idea of what makes work meaningful and energizing for you.

Prepare for the Exercise

This exercise will take about 15–20 minutes. To get the most out of it, find a quiet place where you can focus without interruptions.

🧘 Set yourself up for success:

• Sit in a comfortable position, feet flat on the ground.
• Close your eyes and take three deep breaths—inhale deeply, hold for a moment, and exhale slowly.
• Let go of distractions and bring your attention to yourself.

When you feel calm and present, begin the exercise.

Step 1: Identify Moments of True Joy

Take out a notebook or open a blank document. You’ll write down specific moments from different stages of your life when you felt truly engaged, fulfilled, or excited about what you were doing.

You’ll go through three stages:

1. Your professional career (first job and beyond)
2. Your college or grad school years
3. Your childhood and teenage years

For each stage, reflect on your experiences and write down the moments when you felt real joy or excitement. Don’t overthink it—just write what comes to mind.

1. First Job & Professional Career

• Think about all the jobs you’ve had so far.
• What were the moments when you felt the most energized, engaged, or excited?
• These can be specific projects, tasks, or situations.

📌 Examples:

• I loved working on a project where I collaborated with a small, smart team to solve a tough problem.
• I enjoyed mentoring a junior colleague and seeing them grow.
• I felt excited when I presented a strategy to leadership and they acted on it.

2. College & Grad School Years

• Think about the activities, projects, or classes that you truly enjoyed during college or grad school.
• What kinds of work made you lose track of time?
• Were there moments when you felt completely in your element?

📌 Examples:

• I loved conducting research and analyzing data for a project—it felt like solving a puzzle.
• I enjoyed leading study groups and helping my classmates understand complex topics.
• I felt energized when I participated in group discussions where everyone exchanged ideas freely.

3. Childhood & Teenage Years

• Think back to your early years—before career concerns shaped your choices.
• What activities naturally made you happy?
• Were there things you did just for fun that you now overlook?

📌 Examples:

• I loved writing stories and creating imaginary worlds.
• I enjoyed planning school events because I liked organizing things.
• I was always the one explaining things to friends in a way that made them excited to learn.

Once you’ve written down your moments of joy from all three stages, move on to the next step.

Step 2: Would You Still Love It If No One Knew?

Now, review your list and ask yourself:

🤔  Would I still love doing this if no one knew about it?

For each moment, be honest—were you drawn to the actual work, or did you enjoy it because of the recognition, praise, or rewards that came with it?

📌 Examples:

• I got public praise for my work on a big project, but when I think about the fun part, it was actually brainstorming with my team.
• I liked winning competitions, but I now realize I actually enjoyed structuring ideas, not the competition itself.

If a moment was mostly about external validation, cross it out. Keep only the moments that you’d still love even if no one acknowledged them.

Step 3: Distill the Essence

Now, look at the moments you kept and ask yourself:

🤔 What do they have in common?

• Even if the project, company, or people change, what are the core qualities that made these experiences fulfilling?
• What patterns do you notice?

This step helps you identify the key elements that create fulfilling work for you, no matter where you are or what role you’re in.

📌 Examples:

• I thrive when I’m solving complex problems with a team.
• I feel most engaged when I’m mentoring or coaching others.
• I love crafting compelling stories and presenting ideas in a clear way.

Write down the recurring themes that emerge from your list. These are the guiding principles that will help you identify your ideal work environment and role.

Final Reflection

Take a moment to reflect:

• What surprised you about this exercise?
• Did you notice patterns that you hadn’t considered before?
• How does this influence what kind of work you want to do next?

By completing this exercise, you now have a clearer understanding of what makes work meaningful and enjoyable for you. Keep these insights in mind as you move forward in your career transition.

Next Step: Now that you know what you truly enjoy, we’ll explore your core values to ensure your next career move aligns with what matters most to you.

This is one of the exercises we do in the Women Leaders Club. Want to dive deeper and explore more like this? Join us!

The Hidden Causes of Procrastination

A long time ago, when I was a graduate student at an American university, I stayed at a laboratory in Germany. My English wasn’t great, and I didn’t speak German at all. I struggled to learn lab work—the postdoc barely explained anything to me and criticized me for not knowing what seemed “obvious.”

To bear the time, I kept myself busy with other things, avoiding the work that made me feel incompetent. I felt like this was as far as I could go, that I was going to fail at getting my PhD. I was procrastinating—not because I was lazy, but because I was overwhelmed with self-doubt.

Procrastination is often misunderstood. It’s not about being lazy—it’s a behavioral response to deeper psychological patterns.

Here Are Three Common Causes:

1. Imposter Syndrome

For high achievers or those with strong potential, procrastination is often a response to performance anxiety. When people experience self-doubt and fear of failure, they may delay tasks to avoid confronting the possibility of underperforming.

They worry about their abilities, hesitate to take action, and when they do succeed, they don’t believe it was because of their skills. Instead, they attribute their success to luck, overwork, or external circumstances—reinforcing their cycle of self-doubt.

Procrastination in this case is often a stress response. Some people shut down and avoid the task altogether, while others push harder, overworking or people-pleasing to compensate for their perceived inadequacy.

But despite the common myth that imposter syndrome will always be there, it is fixable. One way to break self-doubt is to document your wins—write down what you did well, not just external praise, and revisit them whenever doubt creeps in.

Imposter syndrome isn’t permanent—you can break free. Want to learn more? Email me.

2. It’s Not Your Dream

Sometimes, procrastination happens because deep down, you don’t actually want to do the thing you’re avoiding. You might feel like you should do it—because of societal expectations, family influence, or career pressure—but it’s not truly aligned with what you want.

When people are pursuing goals that don’t feel like their own, they struggle with low motivation, inner resistance, and self-sabotage. They may put off taking action, not because they lack ability, but because their mind and body are rejecting something that doesn’t feel meaningful to them.

This is common among high achievers who have followed external expectations for success—climbing a career ladder they don’t even want to be on, chasing promotions that don’t excite them, or working on projects that feel pointless. They delay, hoping something will change, but often just feel more stuck.

Heading toward a goal you don’t actually want is a waste of your talent and potential. Take time for self-reflection. What do you truly want? Why does it matter to you? If no one were watching, would you still choose this path?

There’s no deadline for making a change—you can pivot anytime. Need help figuring it out? I can help. Email me.

3. Fear of Making the Wrong Decision

Some people procrastinate not because they lack confidence, but because they fear making the wrong choice. When a decision feels high-stakes, or when there’s too much uncertainty, they delay—gathering more information, seeking reassurance, or waiting for the “perfect” moment.

This is especially common among people who were seen as “the smart one” growing up. If you’ve always been told you’re intelligent, you may unconsciously fear breaking that belief. To avoid failure, you stick to safe paths—choosing challenges where you already know you’ll succeed, rather than taking risks where you might struggle.

While this instinct protects your self-image, it also limits your growth. Avoiding hard decisions, delaying risks, or hesitating to act because success isn’t guaranteed can lead to stagnation, missed opportunities, and frustration with your own potential.

If the outcome is the same, what kind of journey do you want? It’s not about finding the ‘right’ path—it’s about choosing the one that truly fits you. Need support? I can help. Email me.

What’s Behind Your Procrastination?

Looking back, my procrastination was driven by Imposter Syndrome—I feared hearing criticism again and doubted my ability to do it well, so I avoided it altogether. I eventually overcame my self-doubt and earned my PhD—but only after breaking free from the cycle of self-doubt. You can, too.

What about you? Which pattern sounds familiar?

• Imposter Syndrome?
• Chasing after someone else’s dream?
• Fear of making the wrong choice?

Procrastination isn’t the problem—it’s a signal. The good news? You can break free—with the right support.

In the Women Leaders Club, we work through these challenges as a community, helping each other move forward with clarity and confidence. Come be part of it.

5 Behaviors That Set Future Leaders Apart

As a people manager, there are certain individuals I naturally pay more attention to. They may not be ready for promotion yet, but I can clearly see them as future leaders. They don’t just do their jobs—they do them in a way that makes my life easier.

I hear similar stories during layoffs. Some individuals are the ones leaders fight to keep at any cost. On the surface, they don’t seem much different from their peers, and people often wonder, Why them?

These are the people who not only excel at their work but also anticipate what I need—sometimes even before I ask. They get things done faster than most. They don’t just focus on their own tasks; they engage in broader discussions, form opinions, and share them confidently. They understand how different teams fit together and are respected across functions. They show up to larger meetings like all-hands, stay engaged, and when asked, contribute meaningful insights.

I’ve noticed five common behaviors among them. Each one seems small on its own, but together, they create a powerful impact.

1. Building Connections

When they join a new team, they don’t just settle in—they actively seek out key connections. They meet people not only in their immediate team but across different functions, understanding their challenges and finding ways to help. They build relationships at all levels, from new hires to executives, gaining a broader view of how the company operates and where they can add value.

2. Creating Leadership Opportunities

They step into leadership roles—whether within the company or beyond. If no opportunities exist, they create their own, organizing book clubs, lunch-and-learn sessions, or casual networking events. These don’t require much effort but provide exposure to new people, spark valuable conversations, and establish them as leaders.

Even when they’re too busy to organize something, they contribute in smaller ways—offering feedback on strategy documents, volunteering for projects, or simply showing up with a helpful attitude. Leadership isn’t about a title; it’s about taking initiative.

3. Be Present for the Team

Most people tune out or multitask during all-hands meetings, seeing them as unproductive. These individuals think differently. They show up, pay attention, and even if they don’t speak, they stay engaged. When called on, they respond with thoughtful insights.

This not only helps them stay aligned with leadership’s priorities but also signals that they care about the organization as a whole—not just their personal tasks. Over time, this visibility makes a difference.

4. Lead with Curiosity

At some point, you’ll encounter people who don’t understand your work or even challenge it. It’s easy to get defensive and think, They should know this already. But these individuals take a different approach—they lead with curiosity.

Instead of reacting, they ask questions and seek to understand. This small mindset shift changes everything. Instead of being seen as difficult, they’re recognized as experts who bring value, as team players others want to collaborate with. What could have been a blocker turns into an opportunity for influence—and sometimes, a future sponsor.

5. Thinking Like an Owner

This mindset ties everything together. These individuals never say, That’s not my job. Instead, they take ownership of problems, big or small.

They think about challenges from a leadership perspective—If I were in charge, how would I handle this? When they see leaders make different decisions, they ask thoughtful questions and share their perspective. This does two things: it helps them understand leadership’s thought process (and any missing context), and it makes them memorable to senior leaders.

Leaders appreciate those who ask smart questions and push for better solutions. Over time, these interactions sharpen their decision-making skills and prepare them to lead at higher levels.

What about you?

Which of these five behaviors resonates most with you? Where do you see the biggest opportunity for growth? What questions do you have? Email me—I’d love to hear your thoughts.

And if you want to develop these skills alongside other women leaders, join WLC (Women Leaders Club).

Know Your Type to Make the Right Career Move

Many people reach a point where they start thinking, “Maybe I should quit and do something new.”

But the real question isn’t just Should I quit?—it’s What’s actually driving this feeling?

For some, it’s a sign that something in their current role needs to shift. For others, it means they’re ready for a bigger change. And for some, it’s simply time for another evolution in their journey.

Understanding where you stand helps you decide what kind of change you actually need.

The Three Types of Career Changers

1. Builders – Thriving Within the System

Builders have worked hard to succeed in an established system. They studied hard, got into a good school, landed a solid job, and climbed the ladder. The system worked for them, and they’ve built a career that looks successful—and often feels that way too.

But over time, dissatisfaction starts creeping in—whether it’s boredom, frustration, or a sense that something is missing. They may wonder if they need to leave, but at the same time, they hesitate because they’ve invested so much into where they are.

🔹 Examples of Builders:

• The high achiever who followed the “right” path—got the grades, the degree, the well-paid job—and is doing well, yet sometimes feels bored or uninspired.
• The corporate professional who enjoys their role but feels a nagging sense that they’re meant for something more.

🔹 Often, what they really need is to:

• Adjust their role to focus on work they actually enjoy.
• Find ways to grow without starting over.
• Shift how they work instead of where they work.

2. Awakeners – Ready for a Big Change

Awakeners start as Builders—they followed the proven path, worked hard, and succeeded. But now, their suppressed dissatisfaction has become impossible to ignore. They don’t just want small tweaks—they feel a pull toward something completely different.

They know staying in the same place isn’t an option anymore, but stepping into the unknown feels risky and overwhelming.

🔹 Examples of Awakeners:

• The successful professional who starts to think, “I don’t want this to be my whole life.” They’ve built a great career, but the thought of doing the same thing forever feels suffocating.
• The high achiever who realizes they’ve sacrificed family, passions, or personal fulfillment for their career—and now feel an urgent need to change.

🔹 Often, what they really need is to:

• Explore what’s next without the pressure of having it all figured out.
• Take their first steps toward a major career or life transition.
• Build confidence in leaving behind what no longer fits.

3. Pioneers – The Resilient Changemakers

Pioneers don’t wait for change to come to them—they create it. They naturally embrace less walked paths, choosing risk and exploration over security and predictability. Instead of waiting for a clear plan, they jump in, experiment, and figure things out along the way.

While this gives them an advantage, it can also feel isolating, because most people around them don’t operate this way.

🔹 Examples of Pioneers:

• The person who moved to a foreign country alone at a young age, navigating everything on their own.
• The first in their family to pursue higher education, with no blueprint or support.
• The entrepreneur who chose an unconventional path rather than following a traditional career.

🔹 Often, what they really need is to:

• Stay steady and focused while navigating uncertainty.
• Have a thought partner who understands their nontraditional path.
• Build resilience when external validation isn’t there.

How I Help

Each type of career changer needs a different kind of support to move forward.

• For Builders, I help them redefine their role, regain motivation, and explore new challenges within their current career—often without needing to quit.
• For Awakeners, I guide them through the exciting but uncertain transition of stepping into something new with confidence.
• For Pioneers, I walk alongside them as a thought partner and support system, helping them stay clear and focused while carving their own path.

What’s Your Type?

Do you want support in navigating your next step? Join the Women Leaders Club—a space where high-achieving women gain clarity, strategies, and the support they need to create careers that truly fulfill them.