Why Your First 90 Days Should Begin at the End

The first 90 days at a new job are high-stakes—and not just for the reasons most people think.

You’re new, you’re being evaluated, and there’s pressure to ramp up quickly. Most people focus on learning how things are done, delivering results, and proving they were a good hire. And yes, all of that matters.

But there’s another reason the first 90 days are important:

They set the course for the story you’ll tell when you leave.

When Listening Too Well Leads You Off Course

Let me explain what I mean.

When I started one role, my new manager said, “This is how we do things here. Just focus on this for now.” So I did. I followed his advice exactly—and it quietly put me on a path that didn’t align with where I wanted to grow. By the time I realized it, I had to work really hard to change course and steer toward the direction I actually wanted.

I see the same thing happen with my clients.

Take Julie. She joined a company and quickly noticed that many things weren’t working—some were even quite bad. But she didn’t say anything because she was new. She didn’t want to come off as someone who thought she knew better. Two years later, she came to me and said, “I want to speak up and make changes—but how do I suddenly start saying something now? I’ve been fine with it until now—won’t it seem weird?”

She was stuck—not because she lacked clarity, but because she hadn’t anchored herself in a bigger purpose from the beginning.

When You Push Too Soon Without Context

On the other end of the spectrum, I’ve seen what happens when someone tries to lead change too quickly—before earning trust or understanding the full picture.

A new VP of Marketing joined a small company I worked with. Just one month in, she stood in front of the entire marketing team and presented—point by point—everything she thought they had been doing wrong. Right in front of the people who had been doing the work.

Naturally, the team pushed back. They admitted things weren’t perfect, but they had made tough trade-offs with limited resources. The VP agreed with many of their points—but the way she delivered her critique completely alienated the team.

She wasn’t wrong about the problems. But she failed to understand why things were the way there were—and that cost her trust and influence.

So How Do You Avoid Both Extremes?

You start by thinking about the day you’ll leave the role.

It might sound strange—but when you imagine the story you’ll tell at the end of this chapter, you gain clarity from the start. What will you have accomplished? Why did it matter? What will this role have prepared you for?

This mindset shift helps you lead with intention, especially if you’re in a leadership role. Your job isn’t just to maintain the status quo—it’s to create an environment where your team and company can succeed, even after you’ve moved on.

If you see room for improvement and don’t act, you’re not doing your job.

But if you try to change everything without understanding the context, you won’t get far either.

A Better Way to Start Strong

Here are three things I recommend to anyone starting a new role:

1. Observe and ask a lot of questions. You’re new—this is your best window to ask why things are the way they are. People are more open to explaining, and you can raise ideas in a way that’s curious rather than critical.
2. Start with your end story. Imagine the impact you want to make and what you’ll be proud to share when you leave. Let that vision guide your priorities and decisions.
3. Make a plan. Based on that vision, map out how you’ll create that impact. Maybe it means introducing ideas gently in meetings, building alliances behind the scenes, or making a bold change right away. The right approach will depend on the context—but having a plan helps you lead with intention.

These three steps can help you ramp up without losing sight of why you’re really there.

What’s the Story You Want to Tell?

Yes, learn how things work. Yes, deliver results quickly. But also remember: you’re not just there to keep things running. You’re there to make things better.

What’s the story you want to tell when you look back on this role?

Want More Support Like This?

Want support with finding the right balance, building the best plan, and following through? This is exactly the kind of shift we work on in the Women Leaders Club—a coaching program for women who want to lead with clarity and own their impact. Join us and build the career you’re meant to have.

What Triggers Your Imposter Syndrome?

Have you ever felt your confidence suddenly drain—like you went from feeling strong and capable to small and uncertain in a matter of seconds? It used to happen to me every time I ran into someone who reminded me of someone from my past. I’d walk into a networking event, an interview, or a meeting feeling fully prepared and confident… until I saw them. Then, just like that, I’d start doubting myself. I’d feel like I didn’t belong.

That’s how imposter syndrome works. It’s often triggered—by certain people (like in my case), or by specific situations, places, or even small things. And once it’s triggered, it can send us spiraling into overthinking, perfectionism, or retreat.

But here’s the good news: when you learn to recognize your own specific triggers, you can stop that spiral before it begins. You can meet those moments with awareness instead of self-doubt—and start to break the cycle.

Let’s explore some of the most common (and often overlooked) triggers.

Common Triggers of Imposter Syndrome

Imposter syndrome tends to flare up when the stakes are high or when we feel especially visible. You might notice it creeping in when:

• You’re starting a new role, launching a new project, or taking on unfamiliar responsibilities
• You’re preparing to give a presentation, speak up in a meeting, or lead a team
• You’re facing an interview or a performance review—especially in a high-pressure environment
• You’re comparing yourself to others on LinkedIn or listening to peers who seem more confident or articulate
• You’re returning to a skill or space you’ve been away from and feel unsure or rusty

Even small moments—like being asked something you don’t know on the spot—can make you feel exposed. These situations are normal, but for those experiencing imposter syndrome, they can become emotional triggers that set off a much bigger internal reaction.

The Deeper Impact for Underrepresented Voices

For people from historically marginalized or underrepresented backgrounds, imposter syndrome often runs deeper—not because of a lack of ability, but because their environments have repeatedly made them question their worth.

Imagine this: you speak up in a meeting with a thoughtful idea. The room moves on. Minutes later, someone else—someone with more status or a different identity—repeats your point and suddenly everyone is nodding, taking notes, or giving them credit. It leaves you wondering: Was I not clear? Did I do something wrong? Or do they just not take me seriously?

That’s a microaggression. It may seem subtle, but it sends a loud message: You’re not fully seen or heard here.

Other common triggers in these contexts include:

• Being the only woman, person of color, immigrant, or nontraditional background in the room
• Being gaslit—having your valid concerns dismissed as being “too sensitive” or “just imagining things”
• Seeing little or no representation in leadership or visible roles
• Having to work twice as hard for half the recognition—constantly proving yourself even when you’re already doing more than most

These moments don’t just trigger imposter syndrome—they reinforce it.

And for those who hold multiple marginalized identities, the impact can be even more layered. Like me—as an Asian woman and an immigrant—the sense of invisibility or exclusion can feel amplified. What’s already hard becomes harder.

When you’re always fighting to be seen, heard, and valued, imposter syndrome doesn’t just sneak in—it’s reinforced.

Toxic Bosses Can Be a Trigger, Too

Even confident professionals can begin to question themselves under a difficult manager. Toxic leadership styles don’t just create stress—they can activate deep feelings of inadequacy.

Some common boss behaviors that trigger imposter syndrome include:

• Perfectionistic bosses who focus only on what went wrong
• Insecure bosses who micromanage because they feel threatened
• Erratic bosses whose praise and criticism swing unpredictably
• “Prove-it-to-me” bosses who are never fully satisfied
• Withholding bosses who rarely give feedback, leaving you in the dark

These patterns create environments where it feels like nothing is ever good enough. You begin questioning your every move, blaming yourself for things outside your control, and overworking to earn approval that never comes. That’s not just personal insecurity—that’s your nervous system responding to a pattern of leadership that chips away at confidence.

Even Success Can Trigger Imposter Syndrome

Here’s a surprise: success can be just as triggering as failure.

You land the job. You publish the paper. You’re chosen for the opportunity you’ve been working toward—and then suddenly the voice appears:

• “I just got lucky.”
• “They probably picked me because no one else was available.”
• “It wasn’t that impressive.”

That reaction isn’t unusual. Success increases visibility and raises expectations. You start to feel like there’s more to prove—and more to lose. Instead of feeling proud, you feel pressure. You question whether you really earned it.

In those moments, it’s easy to dismiss everything that led to your success—your preparation, your persistence, your growth. But those are the real reasons you’re here. Reminding yourself of that truth can help shift the pressure into perspective.

Why This Matters

The first step to shifting imposter syndrome isn’t forcing yourself to feel more confident. It’s learning to recognize your triggers.

Imposter syndrome is not a personal flaw—it’s often a patterned response to environments or experiences that have undermined your sense of belonging. When you know what sets it off, you can:

• Anticipate those moments
• Build habits that ground and support you
• Rewrite the stories that keep you stuck

And here’s the good news: this is fixable. Unlike the common myth that you just have to live with imposter syndrome or push through it forever, the truth is—ignoring it or “succeeding your way out of it” doesn’t work. In fact, that mindset often leads to burnout, self-doubt, or quiet dissatisfaction, even when you’re doing well on paper.

You don’t have to let imposter syndrome define you. But to change it, you have to name it.

How Much Is Imposter Syndrome Affecting You?

Want to get a clearer picture of how imposter syndrome is showing up in your life?

Take this quick self-assessment to get insight into how imposter syndrome might be affecting your confidence, energy, and performance.

Becoming aware is the first step. From there, you have a choice: to keep pushing through with self-doubt—or to make a lasting change. That’s exactly what I support high-achieving professionals with—identifying their triggers, shifting internal narratives, and rebuilding real, grounded confidence—on their own terms.

You don’t have to figure this out alone. Support is here—and change is absolutely possible.