Silence the Noise: 4 Quick-Access Tools for Negative Thoughts

Have you ever felt a surge of excitement about an opportunity, only to have sudden self-doubt creep in right before you raise your hand? You tell yourself to wait, to think it over, and before you know it, the moment's passed. I've been there, and I've lost countless opportunities because I didn't recognize those negative thoughts for what they were, just thoughts, and instead, let them stop me in my tracks.

Recently, a client of mine reached out, feeling completely overwhelmed. Her mind was swamped with thoughts like, "Too many things are happening, I’m overwhelmed, I don’t have control." These negative thoughts triggered intense anxiety and worry. Her typical reaction to this inner chaos was to freeze, leading to avoidance and procrastination. This, in turn, meant things didn't get done, chipping away at her confidence, the very outcome she desperately wanted to avoid.

The good news is that she caught herself. I suggested she take a short walk, just ten minutes, to get some fresh air and a new perspective. That simple action broke the chain reaction. It allowed her to step back, challenge those negative thoughts, and calmly identify small, manageable tasks she could focus on.

While I've been teaching more thorough methodologies for navigating negative thoughts in our women leaders club, sometimes, when we're feeling panicky or the noise gets too loud, we forget all the steps. That's why it's so helpful to have some quick techniques you can use anytime, anywhere, to quiet those unwelcome voices. The goal isn't to force the thoughts away, but to give you simple, practical ways to create space so they don't take over.

1. Visualization: Turn Down the Volume

Visualization is a simple yet powerful technique where you use your imagination to change your experience of a thought. In this case, we'll imagine the negative thought as if it's coming from a device, like a radio, a TV, or even a phone. And just like with any device, you have the power to turn the volume down.

Let's walk through a short example together so you can see how it works. When you try it on your own later, you can adjust it in a way that feels most natural to you. This is just a demonstration to help you get the idea.

1. Close your eyes if that feels okay. Take a deep breath in... and slowly let it out.
2. Now bring to mind the negative thought that keeps popping up.
3. Imagine it’s coming from a device—maybe a radio, a TV, or a phone.
4. Notice how loud it is. Hear the sharpness of the voice, how it pulls at your attention. Maybe it even hurts your ears a little, making it hard to focus on what really matters. You might feel irritated, your body tightens, and all you want is to make it stop.
5. Now, picture your hand reaching for the volume dial. Or maybe it’s the volume-down button on your remote or phone.
6. Begin turning it down... From a 10... to an 8... To a 5... to a 2... Until it’s just a whisper... or even silence.
7. You can barely hear it now. And you begin to feel calmer. The tension softens.
8. Where do you feel that shift in your body? Gently place a hand there, just notice it.
9. Maybe you still see the person talking on the screen, but there’s no sound. It’s quiet now. Maybe it even makes you smile. You’re in control of the volume. And in this moment, you’ve chosen peace.
10. Take one more deep breath here... and enjoy the stillness.

2. Distancing: Let It Float Away

The second tool is called Distancing. 

It’s a way to imagine placing the thought somewhere outside of you. For example, you can picture putting the thought in a bottle or a box, then place that box on a small boat and let it float away down a river. Or imagine writing the thought on a piece of paper (just in your mind) and folding it into a paper airplane, then picture it lifting off and drifting farther and farther away until you can’t see it anymore. There’s no need to do anything to the thought. You’re just letting it move on.

Let’s try one version of this together. Afterward, you can play with whichever version works best for you.

1. Close your eyes if you’re comfortable. Take a deep breath in... and let it out slowly.
2. Now bring to mind that negative thought that you chose earlier.
3. Imagine placing that thought into a small box. Or maybe a jar, or any container that feels right to you. The thought is now contained, separate from you.
4. Now picture a small wooden boat beside a quiet river. Place the box on the boat.
5. And when you’re ready, gently place the boat in the water... and give it a soft push.
6. Watch it begin to float away. The current carries it slowly... steadily... downstream. It gets smaller... lighter... and eventually disappears from view.
7. Take one more deep breath in... and out. You’re still here. The thought is not.

3. Actioning: Break the Pattern

The third tool is called Actioning. 

This one is simple but powerful: you choose a small, intentional action to take when a negative thought shows up. It’s not about figuring out the exact type of thought or remembering the perfect response. It’s about doing something that breaks the pattern.

For example, when a negative thought makes your mind spiral, you might:

• Stand up and walk to the bathroom or kitchen for a glass of water.
• Do a specific stretching move you know.
• Go walk barefoot in your garden for a minute.
• Get up and take a break, even just for 30 seconds.

Tip: To figure out your action, think about your typical reaction to these thoughts. If you tend to freeze and hold back (like my client), your action might be to move your body or speak up (e.g., raise your hand, unmute yourself). The goal is to do something simple, but different from your usual reaction, to shift you out of hesitation and into movement.

So the next time a negative thought shows up, you don’t need to analyze it. Just do that action. Let that action become your signal: "I’m not letting this thought run the show."

4. Reframing: Your Mental Anchor

The fourth tool is called Reframing. 

Instead of choosing an action, this time you choose a thought, a single, clear phrase you can use whenever a negative thought shows up. The purpose of this phrase is to interrupt the negative cycle with something stronger and more helpful, acting as a mental anchor you can reach for in the moment instead of spiraling into self-doubt.

This phrase doesn’t have to match every thought exactly. It just needs to be believable, and something that moves you in the direction you want to go.

Here are some types of phrases you can choose from:

• To separate the thoughts from you: These phrases help you create a mental distance from the thought, reminding you that it's just something your mind is producing, not necessarily a truth about you.
• "It’s my thought, not me speaking."
• "I’m the observer of my thoughts."
• "I’m noticing my negative thoughts coming up."

• To change how you respond: These phrases empower you to choose a different path, rather than being controlled by the thought.
• "I can choose how I respond to this thought."
• "My brain is trying to protect me, but from what?"

• To be kind to yourself: These phrases offer compassion and reassurance when you're feeling vulnerable.
• "I’m allowed to feel this and still move forward."
• "I’m safe right now."

• To focus on the present moment/reality check: These phrases bring you back to what is actually happening now, challenging unhelpful assumptions.
• "What's actually happening in this moment?"
• "Is this thought serving me right now?"

• To focus on moving forward/taking a step: These phrases shift your focus from the problem to potential solutions or next actions, no matter how small.
• "What's one small step I can take?"
• "What's most important right now?"

Choose the type of phrase that resonates most with you, and then pick one specific phrase within that category. This becomes your go-to mental anchor.

These four techniques—Visualization, Distancing, Actioning, and Reframing—offer quick, practical ways to create space from negative thoughts when they arise unexpectedly. Remember, what works best for you might change over time, so feel free to revisit and retry these methods whenever you need to.

Which one will you try today?

Create Your Own Leadership Path: A Conversation with Kaitlin Liston

I had the pleasure of speaking with Kaitlin Liston for the Kim Coaching Group Interview Series, and I’m so excited to share her story and insights.

Kaitlin is a demand generation manager at RingCentral who has built an impressive and intentional career in tech marketing. She started at a small startup while still in college, held almost every type of marketing role you can imagine, and along the way co-founded a nonprofit and helped more than 100 students with their college applications. But what stands out most is how she consistently created leadership opportunities for herself and brought others along with her.

Here are some of the key takeaways from our conversation, in Kaitlin’s own words, with reflections and examples you can use right away.

Rethink What Leadership Means

“Being a leader is more leading by example… All of the best leaders that I’ve worked under have enabled us to be our best selves. It’s more of a collaboration, allowing for an environment where everyone feels like they have the abilities to do their best.”

Kaitlin grew up playing sports and described how the best team captains were the ones who led by how they showed up, not by barking orders. That same approach shaped her view of leadership at work. She’s not waiting to be given authority, she shows up with it.

We talked about how people often tune out during all-hands meetings or skip team calls because they feel too busy. But leadership means showing up anyway, asking questions, and treating those meetings like they matter, because they do. That’s where you get context, build trust, and show you care about more than just your own tasks.

Decide What Kind of Leader You Want to Be

“I love this quote that you are the sum of the five people closest to you. I started thinking about the kind of people I wanted around me and the kind of leader I wanted to be to them.”

Kaitlin discovered her leadership style by observing others. Some made people feel empowered. Some didn’t. That helped her reflect on what kind of leader she didn’t want to be and she built her own version from there.

You don’t have to pick from the leadership styles already out there. You get to define your own. Kaitlin leads by building trust, giving credit, and making people feel like they belong. That’s what people remember and follow.

Ask yourself: who are the people you admire most in your life and work? What do they do that makes you feel seen and supported? Start modeling those behaviors.

Build a Real Network, Not Just a List of Contacts

“Your network is your net worth.”

Kaitlin believes in building meaningful relationships that go beyond LinkedIn connections. When she joins a new company, she asks her manager to introduce her to 10 people across the org. She reaches out to new hires. She gets curious about what people do and who they are.

We talked about how real networking isn’t about keeping score, it’s about being generous. When you offer help without expecting anything back, you build reputation and trust. And over time, those people remember what you’re great at and want to work with you again.

If you’re wondering how to start, Kaitlin’s advice is simple: send a message that shows genuine interest. Tell someone what you admire about their work, ask one thoughtful question, and offer something specific you can help with.

Create the Opportunities You Want to See

“I didn’t wait for a promotion. I started leading book clubs, organizing events, and building community.”

At RingCentral, Kaitlin helped launch WISE, the Women in SaaS Empowerment group. She began by volunteering to run small programs like book clubs and lunch-and-learns. Eventually, she became the event chair, helping others grow their skills and confidence too.

Outside of work, she co-founded a nonprofit during the pandemic and continues to support students through college counseling. All of this started with small decisions to raise her hand.

We talked about how creating leadership opportunities doesn’t have to be big. You can volunteer to lead a 30-minute discussion. You can offer to review someone’s document. You can step in on something that fits your time and energy, and still have an impact.

Leadership grows with every action. Start where you are.

Think Like a Leader Before Anyone Calls You One

“When something doesn’t feel right, I don’t just let it go, I try to be part of the solution.”

Kaitlin once noticed something in the marketing org that didn’t sit right with her. She was a manager at the time, and it wasn’t her responsibility to weigh in on org-wide strategy, but she cared deeply about where the team was headed. So she sent a thoughtful Slack message to her VP, sharing her perspective.

Leadership often starts like this, not with a formal role, but with a mindset. Leaders treat everything like it’s their problem. When you care enough to speak up, offer ideas, or take initiative, even when it’s not in your job description, you’re already leading.

What’s something that’s been bothering you at work? Instead of venting about it, what would it look like to take action? You don’t have to fix everything. But you can start the conversation.

What’s One Thing You’ll Try?

Kaitlin’s story is full of small, intentional actions that added up to real leadership. She didn’t wait to be chosen. She chose herself.

What’s one thing from her story that you’ll try this month?

Pick something simple. Reach out to someone new. Offer to help. Show up differently.

And if you’re ready to take your leadership to the next level, check out the Women Leaders Club. We go deep into topics like these and support each other through every stretch and leap.

How to Build a Resilient, Abundant Career in Uncertain Times

I worked really hard to get here. I studied well, went to good schools. I gave everything—often without allowing myself to rest or enjoy life. I got the job I wanted. Things were finally starting to click. I could see the finish line. And then the economy shifted. Suddenly, the path I had been following started to disappear.

I was scared. What about all those years of effort? Was it all falling apart? I remember thinking, No, not now, not here. I felt so close. I couldn’t believe this was how things might end.

I blamed the economy. I blamed the job market. I worked even harder to stand out, to survive. But nothing seemed to improve. I started to question myself. Maybe I’m not as good as I thought. Maybe I was just lucky. Maybe I was dreaming too big.

Have you felt like this before? If so, you’re definitely not alone. This was me during the 2008 financial crisis, trying to transition from academia to industry.

And I hear similar stories now. Over and over again.

If I could say one thing to my younger self, it would be: It’s okay. It’s going to work out. Just maybe not in the way you imagined.

What if your dream is still guaranteed, but the path looks different than you expected?

Here are some ideas that helped me back then, and might help you now:

1. Build Internal Abundance

This is about strengthening your inner foundation so that you make decisions from clarity, not fear. It's not just about mindset. It's about tangible, everyday practices that restore your energy and reinforce your self-trust.

Invest in yourself
Don't just wait for your company to offer a course. Choose a skill you're curious about, or say yes to an experience that stretches you. Whether it's joining a leadership cohort, working with a coach, or giving yourself permission to attend a conference, treat your development like the strategic investment it is.

Build a savings buffer
Having six to twelve months of runway, without depending on a job, can be life-changing. It gives you freedom. You can say no to bad fits, explore bigger opportunities, and hold boundaries that protect your energy. You think more clearly when you're not operating from fear.

Rest regularly and move your body daily
Some of your best ideas won't come while you're grinding at your desk. They’ll come when you’re walking, dancing, stretching, or even doing nothing. Movement clears emotional static. Rest creates the space for insights to land.

Track your wins
Imposter syndrome doesn’t vanish just because you achieve more. Keep a "brag document" to log your impact, the praise you’ve received, and the moments you felt proud. It’s not vanity. It’s evidence. Especially when you’re in a culture that may not always see your value.

2. Step Into Your Power

This is about how you carry yourself and how you talk about your work. It’s about claiming your seat at the table, and realizing it was never about waiting to be invited.

Learn from masters
Seek people who’ve done what you dream of. People who’ve walked through rooms where they were the only one, asked for more when it felt risky, and built careers with staying power. Learn from them. Ask questions. Be inspired. Grow your power.

Assume you belong
Stop looking for proof you deserve to be there. Walk in knowing your presence adds value, because it does. Your perspective, intelligence, and experience matter. When you believe that, others start to as well.

Show up with peer energy
This isn’t arrogance. It’s grounded confidence. Walk into meetings not trying to prove yourself, but ready to contribute. You're not there to earn your seat. You're there to use it.

Celebrate the 'no'
We often hold back, afraid of hearing "no." So we don’t ask for what we need: a promotion, a raise, a stretch role, a pause. But every time we don’t ask, we reinforce limits. A "no" isn’t the end. It just means not this way or not right now. Shift what you ask. Ask again later. Keep asking. You don’t get to the big "yes" without hearing some "no" along the way.

3. Design an Abundant Career

The goal isn’t just survival. It’s about creating a career that’s spacious, evolving, and aligned with who you are. That means being proactive, not reactive.

Join a room full of bold women
Find people who stretch you. People who normalize ambition, challenge your ideas, and cheer for you when you doubt yourself. Network with intention. Build your personal support system. Join industry groups or programs like the Women Leaders Club, spaces where growth is shared and support is built-in. You don’t have to figure this out alone.

Diversify your opportunities
One job title shouldn’t define your value or your future. Learn about other roles. Speak. Advise. Write. Take on side projects. Start small, but start. Creating multiple ways to express your talents gives you more stability and more room to grow.

Turn your insights into assets
If you’ve figured something out that others are still struggling with, don’t keep it to yourself. Document it. Share it. Make it a talk, a blog post, a framework. When your ideas live beyond you, they amplify your visibility and your impact.

Own your edge
Our roles are changing. Traditional paths are dissolving, and new ones are being created every day. Don’t focus only on fitting into what exists. Start shaping what doesn’t yet. Your background, personality, and perspective are your strengths. Use them. That’s how you stand out.

You don’t have to wait for the world to calm down before you move forward. You just need to start where you are, with clarity, courage, and a few intentional steps.