Ever wondered what success looks like for you in the roles you deeply care about, such as being a leader, a mentor, or even a parent? I experienced a ponder-worthy moment at a women’s organization's mentoring event recently. Picture this: Speaking fluently, with clarity and projection, engaging an audience, sharing victories, and at the close, a roaring applause and a flurry of questions.
Reality check: Almost there, but not quite! My voice? Clear and loud. My speech? Fluent and unblocked. The audience? Engaged. But the cheers and the vivacious applause I anticipated? They didn’t quite materialize.
As an introvert speaking to around 100 people (especially post-COVID), the experience was... well, let’s say, a 'tingly' adventure. I felt I did splendidly, yet a pang of perceived failure lingered. Can you relate? Ever felt you've nailed it but still harbored a sense of failure?
A client of mine echoed this sentiment. In her dream job, in a leadership role meant to bring innovation to a well-bonded team, her new ideas were met with lukewarm reactions instead of enthusiastic engagement. She was doing an impeccable job, yet her internal yardstick for success—measured by the team's reaction—left her feeling less-than.
Here’s the epiphany: When our image of 'success' hinges on how others react, it escapes our control, transforming into an elusive target. The power move? Reframe success to encompass only what's within our control: our actions, thoughts, and words.
My client was, in fact, a stellar leader, laying down a foundation of innovation and future-proofing for an organization that, perhaps, didn’t realize it needed it. Me? I spoke with poise, clarity, and without hesitation to a large, engaged audience – a triumph in its own right!
A coach once shared with me a lesson in perceptions: After a workshop, an attendee, who seemed skeptical throughout, approached him with praise, declaring it the best workshop he’d ever attended. A poignant reminder: You simply can't decipher thoughts from demeanor.
If you're nodding along, re-evaluating your images of success, and if you wish to redefine your benchmarks with someone by your side, reach out. Your journey toward reframing success might just need a companion!
If you found this article thought-provoking, I'd like to invite you to listen to a related discussion on this topic on my YouTube channel.
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