In my previous post, I encouraged you to embrace change and prioritize self-care, if not for your own well-being, then for your children. Have you taken the first step yet? If not, be gentle with yourself; after all, making change is difficult.
Here are four reasons why making changes in our lives can be difficult, even when we're fully aware that we want to:
1. You Don't Want It For Now
You may already be content with your current efforts and not feel no need for improvement, or you might have other pressing priorities that take precedence.
I once had a conversation with a highly accomplished woman leader. She thrived on her work and openly admitted to being a workaholic. Surprisingly, she expressed a desire to reduce her work hours. I questioned her, saying, "You don't seem to genuinely want that change. Why do you say you want it?" She chuckled and replied that it simply sounded nice to her.
Do you find yourself contemplating changes because they're what everyone else seems to want, even when you don't truly need them? It's perfectly okay not to desire what others do. Every situation has its pros and cons. While we often associate workaholism with burnout and strained relationships, it can also drive us toward success. You don't have to make changes until you genuinely want them.
2. Your Environment Is Holding You Back
There is a well-known story from Korea about Mencius' mother, who moved three times for her son. First, they lived near a cemetery, and her son was imitating the mourners. She then moved near a market, where her son started mimicking the behavior of merchants. Finally, she moved near a school, and her son emulated the scholars, ultimately leading him to become one of China's greatest philosophers.
One of the reasons I came to the US was to escape such constraints. Society had already decided what I should think, say, and how I should behave, but that wasn't who I truly was. The ideal life they portrayed for me was incompatible with my desires. I believed that I had a better chance of living the life I wanted in the US than back home.
Are you attempting to cultivate a garden in Antarctica? It's bound to be extra challenging. If your environment is holding you back, it might be time to make changes. This could mean distancing yourself from an unsupportive friend circle or reevaluating a job that leaves you feeling drained. Surround yourself with an environment that makes it easier to achieve what you desire. Surround yourself with an environment that makes it easier to achieve what you desire.
3. You Don't Have Energy to Spare
There was a psychology experiment: one group of people was asked to eat and evaluate the taste of chocolate chip cookies. In contrast, another group was asked to eat and evaluate the taste of raw radishes, with a plateful of chocolate chip cookies on the table. Afterwards, both groups were presented with an unsolvable puzzle. The cookie group persevered for an average of 19 minutes, whereas the radish group gave up after just 8 minutes. Why?
The answer lies in energy. Every small frustration, every bit of willpower spent resisting temptation, drains the energy needed for more significant challenges. Think about those days when you're running on empty, when your patience wears thin, and even minor tasks seem overwhelmingly difficult.
In the corporate world, I recall those meetings without clear goals and agendas being energy-draining. Sometimes, there was someone I felt I had to explain the same thing to repeatedly, and they never seemed to grasp it. I used to believe it was part of my job to attend those meetings and repeat myself. Now I wonder, was it truly the optimal choice? What opportunities did I lose because of this choice?
Do you have a change that you want and you know it'll improve your life, but just don't have energy to make that change? Consider conducting an energy audit in your own life. Identify what depletes your energy, whether it's people, places, items, thoughts, or habits. Perhaps there are things you want to say no to but find challenging or activities you wish to pursue but feel restricted by. Eliminating these small energy drains can provide you with the reserve you need to pursue the changes you desire.
4. You Think It Won't Work
I have weight issues. Even though my friends say it's not too bad, the truth is, I'm overweight, and it's harming my health. I know I need to lose these extra pounds. I've tried to lose weight several times in my life, and sometimes I succeeded temporarily, but I always went back to my old weight. I've learned a lot about nutrition and exercise, so I know exactly what to do, but I struggled to find the motivation. During a recent coaching session, I had a realization: I believed it wouldn't work. Understanding this mental block was the key to rekindling my motivation.
Do you yearn for something but secretly doubt about its success? Have you explored every avenue, only to feel stuck with no way out? Keep in mind, there is always another way. It's just not visible to you yet. Seek for help, spread the words, you'll see multiple other ways.
Recognizing the obstacles that may be holding you back from making positive changes is the first step towards overcoming them. Whether you're not ready for a change, hindered by your environment, lacking energy, or doubting the effectiveness of change, understanding these barriers can empower you to navigate them. So, which of these obstacles resonates with you the most?
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