Stories of Women Making a Difference

I often express my desire to connect with strong and inspiring women. However, I've noticed that this statement can sometimes deter people from approaching me. You see, heroes come in various forms. Some wear capes and masks, making their heroic nature evident, while others blend in with the crowd, appearing just like us, unaware of their heroism. Recently, I've had the privilege of meeting some incredible heroes:  A woman who made the courageous decision to divorce while pregnant, escaping an abusive relationship, and relocating to a new state all on her own to protect herself and her unborn child. In the midst of the Asian hate incidents in the US, a group of Asian women came together to form a support network. Today, it boasts over 70 members and hosts numerous activities to uplift and empower one another. Another woman, who, after experiencing discrimination and hate, initially chose to stay silent and hide. However, she soon realized that her silence was what those who discriminated against her wanted. She decided to speak out, not just for herself but for her family and all Asian women. A woman with humble aspirations – job stability, fulfilling work, and fair pay – witnessed a young female engineer facing potential dismissal due to misunderstandings by male management. She took matters into her own hands, establishing a support network for women engineers within her company, thus positively impacting the lives of numerous women. When I commend these women for their courage and the significant impact they've had on the world, they often downplay their actions. They respond with modesty, saying, "Oh, it's nothing," or "I don't think it was that impactful," or "I just did what I had to do." These are the voices of powerful women. Do you happen to know any remarkable women like them whom you could introduce to me? I'm eager to meet more incredible women. If you've enjoyed this article and wish to continue exploring similar insights, consider subscribing to my newsletter. You'll receive regular updates with fresh perspectives and practical advice to enrich your journey. Join a community of like-minded individuals seeking growth and inspiration.

Beyond the Contradictions of Age-Old Advice

 My parents had a lot of books when I was growing up. Browsing through them and finding interesting books to read was one of the things I enjoyed. One day, I found a book that was a collection of wise words and axioms. My mom said, 'That's a great book that will help guide your life,' and she highly recommended it. So, I started to read.

At the beginning, I was enjoying it, thinking I was learning a lot. Then I began to notice contradictions among the axioms. For example, one axiom said, 'There is no tree that won't fall if you axe it ten times,' which means 'never give up.' I was all pumped up, vowing never to give up. However, a few chapters later, there was an axiom that said, 'If you can't climb the tree, don't even look up that tree,' implying 'don't waste your energy on things that won't work.'

I was pissed. I thought it was wisdom, but wisdom my ass. Anyone could say such random things. I put the book away. It was many years later when I picked up that book again.

The truth is that all the books, advices, axioms out there are answers to some questions, solutions to some problems. It’s my job to find out what my questions or problems are. Once I know, I can find the answers and solutions, because they are already out there. The challenge is knowing what questions and problems I have.

The questions and problems we have can't be determined by anybody else. They come from within us when we consciously think about them.

My issue is that we are not encouraged to consciously think about them, and as a result, many of us don’t. That’s what I do - I help people consciously think about who they are and what they want to create in this life.

One of the common question is: I don’t like this situation, should I keep working on it or should I look for something else? But the question is wrong. Instead, ask yourself what you want to create in your life, how important it is to you, and how much this situation contributes to achieving it. Once you have the answer to these questions, the answer is already there, either don’t give up or look for something else already.

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Big Things Take Long Time to Make Happen

 Reaching significant goals requires time and dedication.

Imagine it as filling a large jar with water. Each day, you add a little water, but the jar is so deep that you can't see the water level rise. You might compare yourself to others whose jars seem full and feel demotivated, not realizing your jar is much larger. However, as you persistently pour water, one day, you notice it's nearing the top, and your confidence grows. Motivated, you keep pouring until it overflows.

The person you are today reflects years of hard work, time, energy, and experiences. Are you content with where you stand now?

Now, envision who you want to become in the next 10 years. Does it excite you? Should you aim even higher? Are you clear on what steps to take today to reach that future self?

However, it's not always straightforward due to three reasons:

1. Sometimes, the goal isn't clear. With numerous jars to fill, which one truly matters to you? Are you filling a jar based on others' expectations or your own desires?
2. You might not know how to reach your goal. Using a spoon when a bucket is needed may lead to never filling it up.
3. Even when your goal and path are clear, it can be tough to stay committed when you don't see quick progress and aren't sure if your efforts are paying off. You must keep filling the jar, even when the water level isn't rising, and others are celebrating their overflowing jars.

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Power of Self-Limiting Thought Awareness

I'm sure you've heard about self-limiting thoughts and the importance of identifying and overcoming them. Here's an example from my own recent experience:

Over the past year, I've gained 8 kilograms. Initially, I attributed it to not feeling well for an extended period and being unable to exercise. Then, I noticed my taste preferences had changed, and I started craving junk food, especially sweet treats. Breaking this habit became increasingly challenging.

After leaving my corporate job, I expected things to improve, given the reduced stress, well at least in theory. However, I still found myself yearning for sweet junk food, and I began to wonder why.

One day, I found myself feeling agitated and irritable. I began to question why I was experiencing these emotions, and a handful of negative, accusatory, and judgmental thoughts emerged. My initial reaction was to push these thoughts away, as I aimed to maintain a positive mindset.

About an hour later, as those uneasy feelings persisted, I had a change of heart. I chose to listen to those thoughts instead. I went to my office, alone, and began jotting down all the thoughts that surfaced, without judgment. Some thoughts made me feel ashamed, but I acknowledged them and continued. Eventually, I had filled two pages with my thoughts.

Upon reviewing them, I stumbled upon something intriguing. I uncovered a thought that I wasn't worthy and didn't measure up to my husband because I earned significantly less money than him.

It triggered a memory. My grandmother wasn't allowed to go to school because she was a girl. She was determined to make sure my mother received an education. My mother, who went to college, a rarity at that time, couldn't get a job. Society viewed a married woman working as a sign that her husband couldn't provide. This societal stigma was something my parents couldn't tolerate. Both my grandmother and mother emphasized the importance of financial independence to me. They told me that true independence and equality with a future husband could only be achieved by earning my own money.

I had completely forgotten about this for about four decades. I was surprised to realize that this long-buried memory had been one of the main driving forces in my life, and now, it's causing me stress and even leading to cravings for unhealthy foods.

Upon this newfound awareness, I lost my craving for sweet junk food, like that. They simply didn't appear as tempting anymore. I used to feel extremes of either extreme hunger or excessive fullness, but suddenly, I could sense my stomach feeling pleasantly satisfied. Since then, I've been consistently making healthier food choices because they genuinely taste good to me again. This transformation was like flicking a light switch; it happened instantly, not gradually.

It was my own remarkably unexpected realization of self-limiting thoughts, and as soon as I am aware of them, I found my freedom from them.

Have you ever experienced feelings of agitation and irritation when something didn't seem right? These emotions can be signals worth exploring. If necessary, consider speaking to someone like a coach. Most coaches offer complimentary coaching sessions, so don't hesitate to take advantage of that opportunity. It could potentially change your life too.

What self-limiting thoughts have you discovered that surprised you the most?