Most people I meet are genuinely nice. Perhaps that's because I tend to surround myself with nice people. However, it's disheartening to see niceness sometimes mistaken for a lack of competence or viewed as an invitation for mistreatment.
A client of mine, the epitome of kindness, frequently found herself in such predicaments. Faced with less-than-ideal treatment, she would apologetically ask for more respect. While speaking up is commendable, her apologetic tone indicated a deeper concern. She feared that by asserting herself, she was betraying her 'nice person' identity, as though kindness and assertiveness were mutually exclusive.
Here’s the reality: being a nice person doesn’t equate to accepting poor treatment. We must establish boundaries and, if necessary, be prepared to be a bitch. It’s not a question of shedding our kindness; it’s about ensuring it's not taken for granted. Avoid boxing yourself into the 'nice person' stereotype. It's crucial to respect yourself as much as you respect others.
Assertiveness and setting clear boundaries are acts of self-care and empowerment. They communicate to others, and crucially, to ourselves, that we value our well-being just as much as we do our kindness.
Understanding this is one thing, but applying it can be challenging. That’s where the Women Leaders Community comes in, offering support to strengthen your leadership presence and navigate these challenges: https://www.kimcoachinggroup.com/women-leaders-community
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