Enjoy the Journey - Core Principle in the WLC

 There are 5 core principles in the Women Leaders Community. The last is "Enjoy the Journey."

The Importance of Enjoying the Journey

In high school, my sole focus was studying for the college entrance exam. I wasn't allowed to read novels, watch TV, or even join family vacations. The rule was clear: if I wanted to go to college, I had to give up everything else and just focus on my studies.

Balancing Work and Fun

In graduate school, while my peers enjoyed parties, ski trips, and travels, I went to dinner parties but avoided longer trips, like three-day ski strips or week-long travel to Europe for a classmate's wedding. I believed I needed to focus solely on finishing my PhD. Looking back, I realize I didn't study as effectively as I thought and could have enjoyed those experiences. However, the self-imposed rule was so strong that I feared failing if I deviated.

After earning my degree, I began to have more fun. I got my private pilot's license, tried salsa dancing, and indulged in activities I enjoyed, like hiking and theater performances. But when I got pregnant, my focus shifted to activities for my son, like kids' birthday parties and camping. It took about 15 years before I felt I could return to my own fun activities.

Embracing Fun as a Value

Reflecting on my journey, I realize I lived my life focused on achieving goals and postponing enjoyment. Now, I feel that the time for enjoyment is now, or it will never come. Fun has become one of my top values.

I've taken up running, started ballet, gone for more walks, signed up for pottery classes, tried wood carving and painting, and returned to attending performances. Interestingly, these activities don’t take as much time as I thought. I could have done them all along, maybe not all at once, but one at a time. However, I worried that indulging in these activities would make me lose focus and hinder my progress.

Most of my clients share this mindset. They say, "I’d love to do it, but I don't have time," or "I can't do that now, maybe later." When I help them think small, they often find things they can do right now. They are often surprised by how these small, doable actions add little joys to their lives.

Dealing with Pain and Growth

Another aspect of enjoying the journey is dealing with pain. Growth requires stepping out of our comfort zone, which inevitably comes with discomfort.

When I entered the industry, I was good at my job but struggled with interviews. Because there was no place I could learn, out of desperation, I decided to experiment by applying to roles I wasn't interested in just to gain interview experience. I noted what interviewers liked and disliked, iterated my responses, and tried again in the next interview.

Even though I knew I didn't want those roles, getting rejection emails still hurt. I focused on the progress I made, but the rejections stung. In retrospect, I could have celebrated those rejections as steps toward my goal. Each rejection was a milestone, an opportunity to learn and improve.

Celebrating Failures

Now, I celebrate every time I do something scary, even if I fail. Celebrating failures as milestones toward success helps build resilience. Angela Duckworth's book "Grit: The Power of Passion and Perseverance" highlights the importance of grit for success. My insight is that finding fun in hardship is crucial to developing grit. By celebrating failures, enjoying small activities, and seeing setbacks as milestones, we can become grittier and more successful. What's one fun activity you will do this week?