Dark Side of Superpower

We all have superpowers. That’s how we’ve achieved things in our lives that we’re proud of. But every superpower has a dark side. For the most part, the benefits outweigh the drawbacks. But sometimes, we start to notice that dark side showing up more and more.

Some people don’t see it until it’s too late, while others are aware and keep an eye on it, ready to adjust and stay optimal.

I discovered the dark side of my superpower recently. I’ve always been an independent person. My mom, feeling she wasn’t independent enough, wanted to raise a daughter who was. She sent me to the store alone as a child, sometimes even to return items.

When I was accepted into a Ph.D. program in the U.S. and moved here, I figured out every step on my own. Sure, I got help from various resources, but nobody held my hand through the journey.

I believed life was lonely. I heard people say, "Even if you have family and friends, you die alone." That stuck with me. I thought, in the end, I’d always have to face the hardest parts of life by myself.

I couldn’t rely on others for the important things because, at the end of the day, those things impacted me the most. So, they were my responsibility.

I’ve got plenty of stories about achieving things without any help—and I was proud of that.

After becoming more self-aware, I started to feel like the woman in this story:

A woman in the military was assigned to change the massive wheel of a military vehicle. As she worked, she noticed her superior officer watching her. Instead of asking for help, she pushed herself harder, determined to prove she could do it alone—especially as a woman. 

When she finally finished, her superior said, “I was waiting for you to ask for help. It’s a two-person job. I’m impressed you managed it on your own.”

The dark side of my superpower was that I felt lonely. I was always alone, even when surrounded by people. I hated networking events and never felt like I belonged. I didn’t trust others enough to ask for help because that meant exposing my weakness. And without that trust, I couldn’t achieve bigger things that required other people’s help.

Once I became aware of this, it felt like I had worn goggles my entire life that made others invisible. I had always been alone. There was no community where I truly felt I belonged. But after removing those goggles, I started to feel deeply connected to myself and others.

A few months ago, I spent four days with nearly 200 strangers and, for the first time, I felt like I belonged. It was a massive shift, allowing me to keep my independence while minimizing its dark side.

So, what about you? What’s your superpower—and what’s its dark side? How is it affecting you?

If you want to explore your superpower and its impact, let’s talk. Book a consultation call today.