What’s Networking For Anyways?

Have you ever thought this? I have.

In my early career, I was told I was great at my work, but nobody knew me. “You need to network more,” they said. So, as someone who jumps in and tries things quickly, I started going to networking events.

I’d walk into a room where everyone was talking in small groups, clearly knowing each other and enjoying their conversations. Some turned and waved, but no one approached me. I stood there, feeling like an outsider. “I’m in the wrong place,” I’d think.

Even when I did talk to people, I walked away feeling like it was completely useless. We chitchatted a little, and then what? How was that supposed to help my career?

So I stopped going.

Then, over time, I started to really understand what networking is for and how it can actually work. And the reason I bring this up now? Networking is more important than ever for job searching.

Back in the day, you’d submit applications, get callbacks, go through interviews, and land offers. But now? Many people say they don’t get any callbacks at all. The market has changed. That’s why proactively meeting people before you need them is more critical than ever.

The Myths of Networking (Well… My Myths)

Here’s what I used to believe about networking:

1️⃣ It’s only useful if the person has a job for me. If they weren’t in my function or didn’t have open roles, why bother?

2️⃣ If I meet someone hiring, I should ask them to connect me to the manager or pass along my résumé. That’s the whole point, right?

3️⃣ I’m there to meet these ‘useful’ people. The ones who could give me something.

The Truth

Turns out, I had it all wrong.

✅ People aren’t there for you—they’re there because they need something too. If you listen to them, you’ll often find ways to help. And when you focus on what others need, they naturally start thinking about how they can help you too.

✅ Don’t ask for favors—become the kind of person people want to recommend. Instead of saying, “Can you introduce me?” show up as someone they want to introduce. The best connections happen when people volunteer to help: “Hey, are you looking for a job? I’d love to connect you with our hiring manager.”

✅ Everyone you meet can be “useful” in some way. Maybe not by giving you a job, but by helping you refine your introduction, show up with different energy, or test how you share your insights in different ways. The more open your intentions, the more valuable the experience becomes.

How to Make the Most of Networking Events

So how do you shift your approach and make networking work for you? Here’s what helped me:

1️⃣ Let Go of Expectations

Don’t walk in thinking, I need to meet a hiring manager in X industry. Instead, shift your mindset to curiosity: Who will I meet today? What new perspectives can I gain? Try experimenting—introduce yourself in different ways, adjust your energy, and notice what resonates. The best opportunities often come from unexpected places.

2️⃣ Be the Connector

Ever notice how event organizers greet people at the door, but once inside, you feel like an outsider? Truth is, most people feel this way. So take the lead—introduce people, start conversations, and make others feel welcome. That’s leadership too.

3️⃣ Focus on Helping First

Instead of thinking, Who here can help me?, be the one to offer help first. Ask about their challenges. Share an insight, connect them with someone, or recommend a useful resource. Real relationships form when you create value for others.

4️⃣ Lead with Passion, Not Just a Title

When someone asks, What do you do?, don’t just state your job title—share why you love what you do. Passion is contagious, and people believe that passionate people are great at what they do. If you’re not excited about your work, ask yourself why—that might be the most important question to reflect on.

5️⃣ Show Up Like a Consultant

If you meet someone in your target industry, don’t say, I’m looking for a job. Instead, ask smart questions: What’s the biggest challenge your team is facing? What’s working well? What’s missing? Share your perspective and insights.

I once had a conversation with someone who worked closely with a data science team. We talked about their challenges, and by the end, she said, I want to work with you. Are you looking for a job? Our data science team needs a leader right now.

Making Networking Work for You

Networking isn’t just about luck or finding the right person at the right time. It’s an opportunity to practice how you show up, engage, and offer value. It’s a space to refine your leadership presence, build genuine connections, and see what resonates.

Some of the people you meet will remember you, refer you, and maybe even work with you—but that’s just a nice bonus.

💡 In my recent interview with Jackie Santayana, we talked about her networking tips and experiences—how she built relationships, navigated career shifts, and positioned herself for leadership. Watch it here.