The Secret to Influence

Have you ever had a great idea dismissed by your manager or partner?

Jessica felt this frustration firsthand. She discovered a gap where the company was losing tens of thousands of dollars annually and proposed to fix it. And she got no interest from her manager. She said, “they’re stupid not to see the opportunity”. “If I show that we are saving tens of thousands of dollars annually, and still they don’t care! How come?”

Jack, a former team member, had a similar experience. He proposed to me a solution to clean up the current system’s volatility and make it stable and scalable. I said no. And he had similar reaction, “how can you say no to the solution to fix this mess we deal with daily?”

Here is the truth. They saw one side of the problem, not the full picture.

The Missing Piece: Understanding Priorities

I asked Jessica, if her manager felt the pain when you pointed out that their company was losing tens of thousands of dollars annually. She said no with “can’t believe” energy. I asked, “so what is their pain right now?” She opened up her eyes big, and asked back, “what do you mean?” 

So I explained, yes, tens of thousands of dollars are big loss. But if the company is facing losing millions of dollars or having an opportunity to create millions of dollars more revenue, and if they are working on those projects, doesn’t it make sense that they don’t care about tens of thousands of dollars at this moment?

It may not be the real reason. But the key issue is that Jessica didn’t know what truly mattered to her manager.

Similarly, I explained to Jack, your proposal sounds good, but it requires the entire data science team to work on at least 6 months. Currently one person is working to maintain and improve the system. I’m willing to put more resources to improve the system faster, while we still deliver work to our partners. But, What would happen to the company if the entire data science team drop everything to improve the system for 6 months? 

The Myth About Influence

Many people believe that influence is about pushing their ideas onto others.

It’s completely wrong. Influence is about aligning with what they care about. Show them how your idea helps them achieve their goals.

How to Influence Effectively

1. Understand what they truly care about. What is their biggest priority right now?
2. Understand what they want to avoid. What are they most worried about?
3. Frame your idea as the best way to help them. Share a compelling story that connects your solution to their goals.

Most people struggle with influence because they don’t know what others truly care about. That’s why the first step is to talk to them—understand their challenges, their pressures, and the key players influencing their decisions. You might even change your own perspective along the way. And that’s okay—because true influence isn’t about proving your idea is right. It’s about finding the best solution for the bigger picture.

At Women Leaders Club, we explore how to step into leadership and create opportunities. At the end of the day, great leaders don’t just give orders—they inspire action.

Want to master the skill of influence? Join Women Leaders Club today.