When Everything Feels Like Too Much: A Gentle Way to Shrink the Fear

I hear from so many people lately that they’re feeling heightened anxiety and stress. They can’t sleep. They wake in the middle of the night worrying. They can’t relax. They stay relentlessly busy, trying anything to avoid the discomfort.

And it makes sense—look at what’s happening around us.

Mass layoffs. A brutally tough job market. DEI departments being dismantled. Federal employees let go without warning. Uncertainty is everywhere.

For high-achieving professionals who’ve worked so hard to build meaningful careers, it can feel especially disorienting.

When the world feels shaky, fear starts to grow louder.

What if I lose my job? What if everything I’ve worked for over the last 10 years was for nothing?

Black Dog

This reminds me of a beautifully illustrated children’s book called Black Dog by Levi Pinfold.

In the story, a family wakes one morning to find a terrifyingly large black dog outside their home. Each family member sees it and becomes more afraid than the last. They hide. They panic. And every time someone looks again, the dog seems even bigger.

But the youngest member of the family—Small Hope—does something different.

She walks outside. She meets the dog. She leads it through tight spaces and playful paths. And with each step, the dog gets smaller. By the time they return home, the massive creature is no longer frightening. It’s just a dog.

It’s a powerful metaphor. Fear grows when we avoid it. It shrinks when we face it.

But here’s the real question: How do we face the fear in our own lives?

Here’s a powerful exercise you can try on your own, especially when you feel overwhelmed:

“If That Happens, Then What?” Exercise

When you feel fear rising, 

1. Name it. Write it down.
2. Then ask: If that happens, then what?
3. Write the answer.
4. And ask again: Then what?
5. Repeat at least five times.

Example:

• I’m scared I won’t get a job I like soon.
• If that happens, then what?
• I might have to take a lower-paying job.
• Then what?
• I might not be able to cover all my expenses.
• Then what?
• I’d have to cut back, ask for help, or use savings.
• Then what?

Most people find that after this exercise, their fear shrinks. Sometimes it even disappears. Try it the next time things feel too big to handle.

At Women Leaders Club, we create space for high-achieving women to do exactly this: To shrink fear. To find clarity. To reconnect with what they truly want and go after it. If this resonates with you, I invite you to join us.