The Secret to Influence

Have you ever had a great idea dismissed by your manager or partner?

Jessica felt this frustration firsthand. She discovered a gap where the company was losing tens of thousands of dollars annually and proposed to fix it. And she got no interest from her manager. She said, “they’re stupid not to see the opportunity”. “If I show that we are saving tens of thousands of dollars annually, and still they don’t care! How come?”

Jack, a former team member, had a similar experience. He proposed to me a solution to clean up the current system’s volatility and make it stable and scalable. I said no. And he had similar reaction, “how can you say no to the solution to fix this mess we deal with daily?”

Here is the truth. They saw one side of the problem, not the full picture.

The Missing Piece: Understanding Priorities

I asked Jessica, if her manager felt the pain when you pointed out that their company was losing tens of thousands of dollars annually. She said no with “can’t believe” energy. I asked, “so what is their pain right now?” She opened up her eyes big, and asked back, “what do you mean?” 

So I explained, yes, tens of thousands of dollars are big loss. But if the company is facing losing millions of dollars or having an opportunity to create millions of dollars more revenue, and if they are working on those projects, doesn’t it make sense that they don’t care about tens of thousands of dollars at this moment?

It may not be the real reason. But the key issue is that Jessica didn’t know what truly mattered to her manager.

Similarly, I explained to Jack, your proposal sounds good, but it requires the entire data science team to work on at least 6 months. Currently one person is working to maintain and improve the system. I’m willing to put more resources to improve the system faster, while we still deliver work to our partners. But, What would happen to the company if the entire data science team drop everything to improve the system for 6 months? 

The Myth About Influence

Many people believe that influence is about pushing their ideas onto others.

It’s completely wrong. Influence is about aligning with what they care about. Show them how your idea helps them achieve their goals.

How to Influence Effectively

1. Understand what they truly care about. What is their biggest priority right now?
2. Understand what they want to avoid. What are they most worried about?
3. Frame your idea as the best way to help them. Share a compelling story that connects your solution to their goals.

Most people struggle with influence because they don’t know what others truly care about. That’s why the first step is to talk to them—understand their challenges, their pressures, and the key players influencing their decisions. You might even change your own perspective along the way. And that’s okay—because true influence isn’t about proving your idea is right. It’s about finding the best solution for the bigger picture.

At Women Leaders Club, we explore how to step into leadership and create opportunities. At the end of the day, great leaders don’t just give orders—they inspire action.

Want to master the skill of influence? Join Women Leaders Club today.

The Fastest Way to Achieve Your Leadership Goals

 How Do You Answer, “What Do You Do?”

Most people respond with their job title and employer—“I’m a software engineer at a tech company” or “I’m a marketing manager at X.”

That makes it easy for others to categorize you, but does it actually tell them who you are? Not really. When I hear a title, I might think, Oh, they write code—but that doesn’t tell me anything about your potential, ambitions, or unique contributions.

And here’s the problem: in today’s world, your job title isn’t enough.

Why Titles Alone Won’t Set You Apart

A few years ago, when the job market was booming, your title might have been enough to move you forward. But now? There are hundreds of software engineers, data scientists, and managers in your company alone.

That’s why people tell you to be visible—raise your hand in meetings, present more, volunteer for projects. These are good tactics, but they only address the “how.”

But visibility alone isn’t enough. The key question is: Visibility for what purpose?

Leadership Isn’t a Title—It’s Your Vision

Many people say they want to be a leader. But if I ask them what that means, they struggle to answer.

Leadership isn’t just about making decisions or having authority. It’s about knowing:

✅ Where you think your team or organization should be heading

✅ Why that direction matters

If you can’t answer those questions, you’re not leading—you’re following trends instead of setting direction.

You can follow what others do, but you need a strong reason for why that’s the right path.

Imagine Two Presidential Candidates

Let’s put this into perspective. Imagine you have two people running for president:

🗳️ Candidate 1: “I want to be president because it’s the highest title I can achieve in this country.”

🗳️ Candidate 2: “I want to shape this country into [vision of the future], and if I get elected, I will do [specific plan] to make that happen.”

Who do you see as a leader? Who do you want to work for?

The same principle applies at work.

Leadership isn’t about chasing a title, it’s about knowing where you want to go and why.

Defining Your Own Path—Without a Title

Many struggle to describe what they do without their title. Even more struggle to describe where they want to go in their careers without using a title.

I know, because I’ve been there.

For a long time, I felt like I was mumbling my way through my ambitions, unable to articulate my career vision. I knew I’d recognize it if I saw it, but I couldn’t describe it. And that was frustrating.

But this process of finding your “what” and “why” is what sets you apart.

A Real-World Example of Leadership Thinking

I once spoke with a data scientist at a small company. I asked her, if you can do anything, what do you want to do?

“I want to restructure our entire data functions so all data flow is more streamlined. That way, we have more efficiency and better data quality. With that, we can create room for more advanced analytics that can drive revenue opportunities.”

That’s C-suite-level thinking. And because of that, I’m certain she will reach C-suite in her career.

What to Say When Someone Asks, “What Do You Do?”

So, next time someone asks, don’t just give your title. Try this instead:

🔹 What are you building? (Your vision)

🔹 Why is that important? (The impact you’re driving)

🔹 (And if applicable) What help do you need? (Your obstacles and how others can support you)

Instead of saying “I’m a software engineer,” say:

“I’m building a platform where people can learn, connect, and enrich their lives. Right now, I’m focused on minimizing the negative effects of social media—like addiction and depression—while maximizing its benefits for human well-being. Since you’re a product leader, I’d love your support in prioritizing user well-being, even if it doesn’t maximize short-term revenue. Let’s chat more if you’re interested!”

When you speak this way, people see you differently—not just as another person in a role, but as a leader shaping the future.

And that changes everything.

In today’s economy, opportunities come from people recognizing your unique perspective and potential. When you share your vision, you don’t just stand out—you create new opportunities, take control of your career path, and that’s the fastest way to reach your true career goals.

So, what do you do?

If you’re ready to articulate your vision, take control of your career path, and step into leadership on your own terms, join the Women Leaders Club. It’s a space where high-achieving women gain the clarity, strategies, and support they need to confidently shape their careers and create new opportunities for themselves.

Breaking Free from Self-Limiting Beliefs with the CDC Approach

What’s Holding You Back Isn’t Reality - It’s the Story You Tell Yourself

• “I’m not good at networking.”
• “I’m too old to switch careers.”
• “I don’t have what it takes to be a leader.”

These aren’t facts. They’re self-limiting beliefs - stories you’ve repeated so often that they feel like the truth.

But here’s the reality: The only thing stopping you is the belief itself.

The most successful people aren’t necessarily the smartest or most talented - they’re the ones who refuse to let limiting beliefs dictate their future. The good news? You can rewrite your story.

And it starts with three powerful steps: Clarify, Decide, Create.

Step 1: Clarify - Identify the Thought That’s Holding You Back

Self-limiting beliefs run in the background like a faulty operating system. You don’t notice them, but they influence everything.

Example:

I used to hold back my opinions, even when I thought they were important. I believed others didn’t care about what I had to say.

Through coaching, I realized:

• My belief stemmed from moments when people didn’t react to my words. I took it personally.
• Later, I discovered that people often just didn’t hear me, because I wasn’t speaking loud enough.

Once I identified the real issue, the belief started losing its grip.

📌 Action for You:

• Write down one belief that’s holding you back.
• Ask yourself: Where did this belief come from? Is it actually true?
• Find evidence that contradicts it.

Step 2: Decide – Rewrite the Narrative

Once you see your belief for what it is - a thought, not a fact - you have a choice:

• Keep believing it.
• Or replace it with a new, empowering story.

I decided to stop saying, “People don’t want to hear my opinion” and replaced it with: “Maybe I wasn’t loud enough. Let’s say it again more clearly.”

📌 Action for You:

• Choose a new belief that serves you.
• Say it out loud. Repeat it daily. Make it a mantra.

Step 3: Create – Prove the New Story with Action

Beliefs don’t change just by thinking—they change through action. If you don’t take action, the old belief sticks around.

I created my new reality by speaking up more. As I did, I influenced more conversations, and people began seeking out my opinions.

📌 Action for You:

• Take one bold action that contradicts your old belief.
• If you think, “I’m not good at public speaking,” sign up for a small speaking opportunity.
• If you think, “I’m not creative,” share an idea at work.

🚀 Bottom Line: You Create Your Reality

Your thoughts shape your life. If you change your thoughts, you change your life. But thinking alone isn’t enough—you must act.

Clarify, Decide, and Create your way into a new story.

Your belief is a choice. What will you choose today?

Navigating Layoff Anxiety and Overload

Another round of layoffs just happened. The good news? You still have your job. But instead of feeling relieved, you feel… guilty. It’s called survivor’s guilt, and it’s more common than you might think.

Layoffs take an emotional and mental toll, even on those who remain. You might wonder, “Why them and not me?” or feel the pressure to work even harder, fearing that the next wave might take you out too. These feelings can spiral into unhealthy patterns that make work even harder to manage.

Common Symptoms

1. Feeling Like You Took Someone’s Job

You know it’s not your fault, but it still feels like your employment came at the expense of a colleague’s. You might think, Why them and not me? or Did I do something wrong by staying?

2. Overloaded with Work But Afraid to Say No

With fewer employees, all the work needs to go somewhere—and often, that means you. You might feel guilty pushing back, believing that taking on more proves your worth and keeps you safe from the next round of cuts.

3. Restless and Unable to Relax

You can’t stop working—whether it’s taking on extra tasks or constantly learning new skills, hoping it will make you more indispensable. You feel the pressure to always be productive, fearing that slowing down could put you at risk in the next wave of layoffs. Even when you have time to rest, you struggle to actually relax.

The Consequences of Ignoring This

If you let these patterns go unchecked, you’ll head straight for burnout—exhaustion and mental fatigue that make it even harder to perform well and feel satisfied at work. Burnout doesn’t just affect your job—it seeps into your personal life, making it harder to enjoy time with loved ones, focus on what truly matters, and even maintain your health.

What You Can Do

1. Refocus on What You Want in Your Career

Especially when things are uncertain, knowing what you really want in your career and using it as an anchor is more important than ever. Rather than aimlessly adding skills out of fear, focus on skills that will get you closer to your goal. That way, if you get off track, you can quickly course correct.

2. Set Boundaries and Protect Your Energy

Yes, you may need to take on more in the short term, but overworking yourself isn’t sustainable. Consider the long-term impact and set boundaries that protect your time and mental health. Take intentional breaks, create the work-life balance you need, and learn to say no when necessary.

It might feel impossible to set boundaries right now, but it’s a learnable skill, and yes, it’s really possible. I know because I’ve helped so many people do it—and thrive.

3. Shift from Guilt to Purpose

Some of my friends who were laid off told me they wanted to leave their jobs but stayed for the high pay. Now, they’re traveling the world or finally pursuing careers they’ve long desired. We all get what’s best out of a given situation—so how will you use this situation for yourself?

You Don’t Have to Figure This Out Alone

When you hear these suggestions, you might think, “I know I should do this, but it’s hard. I don’t think I can.” The truth is, these are all learnable skills—and you can do it. I know because I’ve helped many people break free from these patterns and create careers that truly work for them.

If setting boundaries feels impossible or you think your situation is different, let’s talk. You don’t have to figure this out alone. Let’s chat about what’s possible for you.