Tuesday, April 1, 2025

What Triggers Your Imposter Syndrome?

Have you ever felt your confidence suddenly drain—like you went from feeling strong and capable to small and uncertain in a matter of seconds? It used to happen to me every time I ran into someone who reminded me of someone from my past. I’d walk into a networking event, an interview, or a meeting feeling fully prepared and confident… until I saw them. Then, just like that, I’d start doubting myself. I’d feel like I didn’t belong.

That’s how imposter syndrome works. It’s often triggered—by certain people (like in my case), or by specific situations, places, or even small things. And once it’s triggered, it can send us spiraling into overthinking, perfectionism, or retreat.

But here’s the good news: when you learn to recognize your own specific triggers, you can stop that spiral before it begins. You can meet those moments with awareness instead of self-doubt—and start to break the cycle.

Let’s explore some of the most common (and often overlooked) triggers.


Common Triggers of Imposter Syndrome

Imposter syndrome tends to flare up when the stakes are high or when we feel especially visible. You might notice it creeping in when:

  • You’re starting a new role, launching a new project, or taking on unfamiliar responsibilities
  • You’re preparing to give a presentation, speak up in a meeting, or lead a team
  • You’re facing an interview or a performance review—especially in a high-pressure environment
  • You’re comparing yourself to others on LinkedIn or listening to peers who seem more confident or articulate
  • You’re returning to a skill or space you’ve been away from and feel unsure or rusty

Even small moments—like being asked something you don’t know on the spot—can make you feel exposed. These situations are normal, but for those experiencing imposter syndrome, they can become emotional triggers that set off a much bigger internal reaction.


The Deeper Impact for Underrepresented Voices

For people from historically marginalized or underrepresented backgrounds, imposter syndrome often runs deeper—not because of a lack of ability, but because their environments have repeatedly made them question their worth.

Imagine this: you speak up in a meeting with a thoughtful idea. The room moves on. Minutes later, someone else—someone with more status or a different identity—repeats your point and suddenly everyone is nodding, taking notes, or giving them credit. It leaves you wondering: Was I not clear? Did I do something wrong? Or do they just not take me seriously?

That’s a microaggression. It may seem subtle, but it sends a loud message: You’re not fully seen or heard here.

Other common triggers in these contexts include:

  • Being the only woman, person of color, immigrant, or nontraditional background in the room
  • Being gaslit—having your valid concerns dismissed as being “too sensitive” or “just imagining things”
  • Seeing little or no representation in leadership or visible roles
  • Having to work twice as hard for half the recognition—constantly proving yourself even when you’re already doing more than most


These moments don’t just trigger imposter syndrome—they reinforce it.

And for those who hold multiple marginalized identities, the impact can be even more layered. Like me—as an Asian woman and an immigrant—the sense of invisibility or exclusion can feel amplified. What’s already hard becomes harder.

When you’re always fighting to be seen, heard, and valued, imposter syndrome doesn’t just sneak in—it’s reinforced.


Toxic Bosses Can Be a Trigger, Too

Even confident professionals can begin to question themselves under a difficult manager. Toxic leadership styles don’t just create stress—they can activate deep feelings of inadequacy.

Some common boss behaviors that trigger imposter syndrome include:

  • Perfectionistic bosses who focus only on what went wrong
  • Insecure bosses who micromanage because they feel threatened
  • Erratic bosses whose praise and criticism swing unpredictably
  • “Prove-it-to-me” bosses who are never fully satisfied
  • Withholding bosses who rarely give feedback, leaving you in the dark

These patterns create environments where it feels like nothing is ever good enough. You begin questioning your every move, blaming yourself for things outside your control, and overworking to earn approval that never comes. That’s not just personal insecurity—that’s your nervous system responding to a pattern of leadership that chips away at confidence.


Even Success Can Trigger Imposter Syndrome

Here’s a surprise: success can be just as triggering as failure.

You land the job. You publish the paper. You’re chosen for the opportunity you’ve been working toward—and then suddenly the voice appears:

  • “I just got lucky.”
  • “They probably picked me because no one else was available.”
  • “It wasn’t that impressive.”

That reaction isn’t unusual. Success increases visibility and raises expectations. You start to feel like there’s more to prove—and more to lose. Instead of feeling proud, you feel pressure. You question whether you really earned it.

In those moments, it’s easy to dismiss everything that led to your success—your preparation, your persistence, your growth. But those are the real reasons you’re here. Reminding yourself of that truth can help shift the pressure into perspective.


Why This Matters

The first step to shifting imposter syndrome isn’t forcing yourself to feel more confident. It’s learning to recognize your triggers.

Imposter syndrome is not a personal flaw—it’s often a patterned response to environments or experiences that have undermined your sense of belonging. When you know what sets it off, you can:

  • Anticipate those moments
  • Build habits that ground and support you
  • Rewrite the stories that keep you stuck

And here’s the good news: this is fixable. Unlike the common myth that you just have to live with imposter syndrome or push through it forever, the truth is—ignoring it or “succeeding your way out of it” doesn’t work. In fact, that mindset often leads to burnout, self-doubt, or quiet dissatisfaction, even when you’re doing well on paper.

You don’t have to let imposter syndrome define you. But to change it, you have to name it.


How Much Is Imposter Syndrome Affecting You?

Want to get a clearer picture of how imposter syndrome is showing up in your life?

Take this quick self-assessment to get insight into how imposter syndrome might be affecting your confidence, energy, and performance.


Becoming aware is the first step. From there, you have a choice: to keep pushing through with self-doubt—or to make a lasting change. That’s exactly what I support high-achieving professionals with—identifying their triggers, shifting internal narratives, and rebuilding real, grounded confidence—on their own terms.

You don’t have to figure this out alone. Support is here—and change is absolutely possible.


Thursday, March 27, 2025

Outreach Tips for Building New Connections

Networking is more important than ever when it comes to creating opportunities. But reaching out to someone you don’t know can feel intimidating.


The key question to ask yourself is: Why would this person make time for me?


If your request feels too big or unclear, it can create discomfort. If they don’t know what you want to talk about, they may hesitate to respond. Make your request clear and specific so they can easily imagine what the conversation will be about. When people know what to expect, they’re much more likely to say yes.


  • Keep it short—ask for 20 minutes. It’s long enough to have a meaningful conversation but short enough to feel like a small ask. And if things go well, it can naturally extend to 30 minutes, as most meetings start on the hour or half-hour.
  • Make it easy to say yes. Most professionals are happy to help, but asking for a referral, resume review, or introduction right away can feel like too much. Instead, start by asking for insights and advice—this makes the conversation feel lighter and more enjoyable.
  • Be upfront about your topic. If you say you want to talk about their career journey, stick to it—don’t surprise them with a request for a job. However, if the conversation naturally flows into that, great!


Think of this as opening a relationship, not just a one-time conversation. The most important thing is leaving a strong impression—that you’re smart, capable, and great to work with. That way, when opportunities come up in the future, they’ll think of you.



Here Are Some Ways You Can Request a Chat


Now that you know how to approach these conversations, here are six ways to phrase your request depending on the situation. Try the approach that feels right for you, and test it out. If you’re reaching out to multiple people, track what works best across industries, functions, and company sizes—you might notice interesting patterns!


1️⃣ Interest in Their Role/Experience

👉 “I’m interested in a role similar to yours at [Company] and would love to hear about your experience. What do you enjoy most, and what challenges have you faced? I have a few questions and would appreciate your insights. Would you be open to a 20-minute chat?”


2️⃣ Reference Their Work or Thought Leadership

👉 “I read your work on [topic] and found it really insightful. I have a few questions about your approach and some ideas I’d love to get your thoughts on. Would you be open to a 20-minute chat?”


3️⃣ Mutual Connection or Common Interest

👉 “I was speaking with [mutual connection], and they mentioned you’d be a great person to learn from about [topic]. I’d love to hear how you approached [specific challenge or transition] and ask a few quick questions. Would you be open to a 20-minute chat?”


4️⃣ Specific Career Transition or Advice

👉 “I’m transitioning into [industry/role] and noticed you made a similar move from [previous role] to [current role]. I’d love to hear what helped you the most during that transition and ask a few questions. Would you be open to a 20-minute chat?”


5️⃣ Company or Team-Specific Interest

👉 “I’ve heard great things about [Company], especially [specific aspect—e.g., its reputation, culture, or innovation in X]. I’d love to learn more about what it’s like to work there and how your team approaches [relevant topic]. Would you be open to a 20-minute chat?”


6️⃣ Direct & Concise Approach

👉 “I admire your work in [industry/field] and would love to learn from your experience. Specifically, I’d love to ask about [topic, e.g., how you navigated leadership growth in tech]. Would you be open to a 20-minute chat?”



Build Relationships That Open Doors


Networking isn’t just about one conversation—it’s about building long-term relationships. Every great career opportunity starts with a connection, and the more conversations you have, the more doors you open.


If you need help crafting the right message or navigating networking conversations, feel free to reach out—I’d be happy to help! 

Tuesday, March 25, 2025

Self-Reflection Exercise: Clarifying Your Core Values

Do you struggle with decision-making? Not sure if you should stay or leave your current job? Debating between multiple offers but can’t figure out which is the right one?

Chances are, it’s because you’re not fully clear on what’s truly important to you.


Your core values are like your internal GPS—they shape how you want to navigate your career and life. Imagine planning a road trip:

  • Do you want to take the fastest highway route, focused on efficiency?
  • Or would you rather take the scenic route, making stops along the way to enjoy the journey?

Both paths lead to the destination, but the experience is entirely different. That’s what core values do—they define how you want to get to your goal.


When you clarify your values, decision-making becomes easier. You’ll know what to prioritize, which opportunities to pursue, and which ones don’t align with the life you want.

This exercise will help you identify your top values so you can make career choices that truly reflect what matters most to you.


Prepare for the Exercise

This exercise will take about 15–20 minutes. To get the most out of it, find a quiet place where you can focus without interruptions.

🧘 Set yourself up for success:

  • Sit in a comfortable position, feet flat on the ground.
  • Close your eyes and take three deep breaths—inhale deeply, hold for a moment, and exhale slowly.
  • Let go of distractions and bring your attention to yourself.

When you feel calm and present, begin the exercise.


Step 1: Visualize Your Ideal Life

Close your eyes and imagine a life where everything feels balanced and fulfilling.

🤔 Ask Yourself:

  • What does a deeply fulfilling career and life look like for me?
  • Where am I working? What does my environment feel like?
  • What kind of work am I doing? Am I leading, creating, problem-solving?
  • Who am I surrounded by? Am I working solo or collaborating with a team?
  • What moments bring me the most joy and meaning?

Take at least 2 minutes to really immerse yourself in this vision.


Step 2: Identify the Values You’re Honoring

Now, think about why this vision feels fulfilling.

🤔 Ask Yourself:

  • What values am I honoring in this life?
  • Am I prioritizing freedom or stability?
  • Do I value collaboration over independence?
  • Is it more important to me to go fast or go together?


Here are Value Inventories to help spark ideas. You’re not limited to what’s listed—you can absolutely choose values outside of these lists if they resonate more with you.


A few important tips:

  • Choose values that are one words, not full sentences.
  • Focus on what you do want, not what you want to avoid.
    • Instead of "I don't want to feel undervalued", you may choose you want to feel "Confidence"
  • Pick what feels true to you, not what sounds good or what others expect.

Write down at least 10 values that resonate with you.


Step 3: Refine Your Core Values

Now, review your list and narrow it down.

🔍 Look for patterns:

  • Do certain values overlap or reinforce each other?
  • Which values are non-negotiable for your happiness and success?


Circle your top 3 values. These are your key guiding principles—the ones you want your career and life to be built around.

📌 Example:

  • Creativity
  • Autonomy
  • Impact


💡 Final Reflection:

Now, write a short mantra or statement that captures your core values.

📌 Example:

“I thrive when I have the freedom to create, take ownership of my work, and know that what I do makes a meaningful impact.”


Final Reflection

Check In With Yourself:

  • Were there any surprises in this exercise?
  • Are you currently honoring your top values in your career?
  • If not, what small steps can you take to align your work with what truly matters to you?


Put your top values and mantra somewhere visible—on your monitor, your bathroom mirror, or as your phone background.

Let them serve as a daily reminder of what truly matters to you. Revisit them regularly, reflect on them, and use them to guide your choices. The more you connect with your values, the more natural and grounded they’ll feel in your everyday life and work.

Whenever you’re faced with a decision, come back to your values—you’ll find the answer comes more easily.


This is one of the exercises we do in the Women Leaders Club. Want to dive deeper and explore more like this? Join us!


Self-Reflection Exercise: Uncovering What You Enjoy

Many people build their careers based on what they’re good at, what’s practical, or what earns them praise—without stopping to ask:

  • Do I actually enjoy this?
  • Would I still love doing this if no one acknowledged it?

This exercise will help you uncover the activities that truly bring you joy by identifying patterns in your past experiences. By the end, you’ll have a clearer idea of what makes work meaningful and energizing for you.


Prepare for the Exercise

This exercise will take about 15–20 minutes. To get the most out of it, find a quiet place where you can focus without interruptions.

🧘 Set yourself up for success:

  • Sit in a comfortable position, feet flat on the ground.
  • Close your eyes and take three deep breaths—inhale deeply, hold for a moment, and exhale slowly.
  • Let go of distractions and bring your attention to yourself.

When you feel calm and present, begin the exercise.


Step 1: Identify Moments of True Joy

Take out a notebook or open a blank document. You’ll write down specific moments from different stages of your life when you felt truly engaged, fulfilled, or excited about what you were doing.

You’ll go through three stages:

  1. Your professional career (first job and beyond)
  2. Your college or grad school years
  3. Your childhood and teenage years

For each stage, reflect on your experiences and write down the moments when you felt real joy or excitement. Don’t overthink it—just write what comes to mind.


1. First Job & Professional Career

  • Think about all the jobs you’ve had so far.
  • What were the moments when you felt the most energized, engaged, or excited?
  • These can be specific projects, tasks, or situations.

📌 Examples:

  • I loved working on a project where I collaborated with a small, smart team to solve a tough problem.
  • I enjoyed mentoring a junior colleague and seeing them grow.
  • I felt excited when I presented a strategy to leadership and they acted on it.


2. College & Grad School Years

  • Think about the activities, projects, or classes that you truly enjoyed during college or grad school.
  • What kinds of work made you lose track of time?
  • Were there moments when you felt completely in your element?

📌 Examples:

  • I loved conducting research and analyzing data for a project—it felt like solving a puzzle.
  • I enjoyed leading study groups and helping my classmates understand complex topics.
  • I felt energized when I participated in group discussions where everyone exchanged ideas freely.


3. Childhood & Teenage Years

  • Think back to your early years—before career concerns shaped your choices.
  • What activities naturally made you happy?
  • Were there things you did just for fun that you now overlook?

📌 Examples:

  • I loved writing stories and creating imaginary worlds.
  • I enjoyed planning school events because I liked organizing things.
  • I was always the one explaining things to friends in a way that made them excited to learn.

Once you’ve written down your moments of joy from all three stages, move on to the next step.


Step 2: Would You Still Love It If No One Knew?

Now, review your list and ask yourself:

🤔  Would I still love doing this if no one knew about it?


For each moment, be honest—were you drawn to the actual work, or did you enjoy it because of the recognition, praise, or rewards that came with it?

📌 Examples:

  • I got public praise for my work on a big project, but when I think about the fun part, it was actually brainstorming with my team.
  • I liked winning competitions, but I now realize I actually enjoyed structuring ideas, not the competition itself.

If a moment was mostly about external validation, cross it out. Keep only the moments that you’d still love even if no one acknowledged them.


Step 3: Distill the Essence

Now, look at the moments you kept and ask yourself:

🤔 What do they have in common?

  • Even if the project, company, or people change, what are the core qualities that made these experiences fulfilling?
  • What patterns do you notice?

This step helps you identify the key elements that create fulfilling work for you, no matter where you are or what role you’re in.

📌 Examples:

  • I thrive when I’m solving complex problems with a team.
  • I feel most engaged when I’m mentoring or coaching others.
  • I love crafting compelling stories and presenting ideas in a clear way.

Write down the recurring themes that emerge from your list. These are the guiding principles that will help you identify your ideal work environment and role.


Final Reflection

Take a moment to reflect:

  • What surprised you about this exercise?
  • Did you notice patterns that you hadn’t considered before?
  • How does this influence what kind of work you want to do next?

By completing this exercise, you now have a clearer understanding of what makes work meaningful and enjoyable for you. Keep these insights in mind as you move forward in your career transition.

Next Step: Now that you know what you truly enjoy, we’ll explore your core values to ensure your next career move aligns with what matters most to you.


This is one of the exercises we do in the Women Leaders Club. Want to dive deeper and explore more like this? Join us!