Boundaries That Protect Your Energy and Power

We often hear about “setting boundaries,” but the phrase can sound vague or even harsh. What does it really mean? A boundary is the line you cannot allow others to cross.

It is not about small preferences or things you would rather avoid. A boundary protects what you need to feel safe, respected, and whole.

Boundaries are also an invitation for others to meet you with respect.

Why Boundaries Are Essential

When you do not hold your boundaries, you may find yourself giving until nothing is left, or drained because you never refill your own energy. When you do hold them, you protect your wholeness, and from that place you can show up more powerfully for yourself and others.

Boundaries are not optional niceties. They are the foundation for sustainable leadership, meaningful relationships, and personal well-being.

For you, boundaries:

• Protect your core values and rights
• Preserve energy to show up at your best
• Prevent you from carrying obligations that are not yours
• Build confidence by proving you matter
• Ensure you are respected as a person, not only as a role

For others, boundaries:

• Create clarity so they do not have to guess
• Build trust through consistency
• Help relationships thrive instead of eroding under tension

Boundaries are not a “no” to others. They are a “yes” to what really matters.

👉 Reflection: Why are boundaries important to you?

The Many Shapes of Boundaries

When people hear the word boundary, they often picture a rigid rule like, “Do not call me after 9 PM.” But boundaries are not about arbitrary limits on a clock. They are about respect. Respect for your time, your energy, your values, and the space you need to thrive.

Boundaries take many forms in everyday life:

• Time – How you spend your hours and when you are truly available
• Energy – What restores you, what drains you, and how you protect the balance
• Emotional – How you allow yourself to be spoken to or treated
• Physical – Your body and your personal space, including what touch or closeness feels safe
• Responsibility – What is yours to carry and what is not
• Values – The principles you will not compromise, no matter the circumstance

Each of these areas gives you a different way to draw the line and claim the space you need. Some boundaries will be visible and clear, like telling a colleague when you are not available. Others are quieter, like choosing not to take on someone else’s emotional burden or saying no to work that goes against your values.

When I work with women leaders, the most common struggles show up in time and responsibility. Too often, they say yes too quickly, or take on what was never theirs to begin with. Over time, this leaves them exhausted and frustrated, with little left for what actually matters.

👉 Reflection: Which type of boundary feels most important for you right now?

Healthy Boundaries vs. Walls

A common hesitation is: “If I set boundaries, will I come across as cold, selfish, or difficult?” The truth is the opposite. Healthy boundaries are not about shutting people out. They are about letting people in, in a way that honors both you and them.

Think of it this way:

• A wall says: Stay out. I will not let you in. It is rigid, isolating, and built on fear or hurt.
• A boundary says: Here is how you can come closer while respecting me. It creates safety, clarity, and trust.

Boundaries are not barriers to connection. They are pathways to better connection. When you hold them, you are not rejecting others. You are inviting them to meet you where trust, respect, and authenticity can grow.

Healthy boundaries also signal to others that you value yourself. And when you model that, you give them permission to value themselves too. That is why boundaries do not just protect relationships, they strengthen them.

👉 Reflection: With one person in your life, how would things change if you set a boundary instead of a wall?

Spotting Where You Need Boundaries

Understanding boundaries in theory is good, but the real question is how you recognize when one is missing or when an existing one needs refinement. Often your body and emotions will alert you before your mind catches up. Pay attention to these signals. They are like warning lights on your dashboard.

Some of the most common ones are:

• The “yes, but” moment: you say yes on the outside, but inside you feel a heavy no.
• The “have to” moment: you feel trapped in something you never chose, weighed down by obligations that are not yours.
• Lingering irritation: small requests or interactions leave you disproportionately drained or resentful.
• Deep exhaustion: not healthy tiredness after effort, but depletion from overextension.

These signals are not inconveniences, they are clues that your guardrail is missing or too low. When ignored, they can build into resentment, burnout, or even a sense of losing yourself.

The good news is that every signal is also an invitation. Instead of pushing through, you can pause and ask: What boundary do I need here? What line would protect my energy, my values, or my well-being?

👉 Reflection: When did you last feel pushed past your limits?

How to Set a Boundary

Once you notice the signals, the next step is to define and express the boundary you need. A boundary is never about rules for their own sake. It is about honoring what matters most to you, your time, your values, your peace of mind.

When you frame boundaries this way, they stop feeling like restrictions and start becoming affirmations of what you need to thrive. For example, instead of thinking “Don’t call me after 9 PM,” the deeper boundary is “I want my personal time to be respected.”

The clearer you are about what you are protecting, the easier it becomes to express it. You can then choose simple, calm language to share it, not as an attack or demand, but as a statement of respect for yourself.

Examples:

• “Evenings are my time to recharge, so I don’t respond to work emails after dinner.”
• “I protect my peace, so I leave conversations where there is yelling.”

Notice how each one points back to a principle: respect for time, peace, or role. The phrasing matters less than the clarity of what you are honoring.

👉 Action Step: What principle do you most want to protect, and how can you express it in one boundary statement?

Closing Thought

Boundaries are not about shutting people out. They are about keeping yourself whole. Strengthen just one boundary this week and notice how your energy and confidence shift.

Resume Tips for a Successful Career Change

Are you making a career change? Maybe from one industry to another, or from one function to another. You’re probably excited, but at the same time, that little voice creeps in: How do I make my resume make sense to someone in a completely different world?

I’ve been there. In 2008, I was trying to break into industry from academia, right in the middle of a global financial crisis. I went to every job fair, handed out resumes to every recruiter I could find, but all I heard was:

“Well… you don’t have industry experience.”

Although it was true that I didn’t have direct industry experience, looking back, one of the biggest reasons I heard that response was because of my resume.

A resume is your message to introduce who you are and why you might be exactly the candidate they’ve been looking for, especially to someone who has never met you. It should make them feel you’re the right person for the role. Back then, I didn’t understand that at all. Instead, I handed out a seven-page CV crammed with everything I had ever done: my full education history, a long publication list, exhaustive skill inventories, every conference talk I’d ever given.

If I saw that kind of resume now, I’d pass. I would think, This candidate isn’t ready for industry at all. And now I understand exactly why recruiters felt that way.

It took me years to really learn what I was doing wrong and how to fix it. Here’s what I wish I had known then.

1. Speak Their Language

My first mistake was the seven-page CV. In the tech industry I was trying to enter, a one-page resume was the norm. That alone was a red flag that I didn’t understand how things worked in their world.

But it’s not just about length, it’s about language. Different fields use different words for similar work. One of my clients, who was moving from consulting to product operations, discovered that much of the actual work was the same, but the terminology was different. Once she replaced consulting jargon with product ops terminology, her resume immediately felt familiar and relevant to hiring managers.

Even if what you’ve done is exactly the same as what they do, you need to say it in their words. That choice of language signals that you understand their work and that you’ve done your homework.

2. Identify Your Transferable Skills

When you’re changing industries, it’s easy to assume your previous experience doesn’t count in the new context. But that’s rarely true. The skills you’ve built, such as problem solving, leadership, technical know-how, and communication, don’t disappear just because you’re pivoting. You just need to see them clearly.

From my physics background, here’s what I eventually realized:

• Analyzing experimental data → a strong foundation in problem-solving, statistics, and coding.
• Writing peer-reviewed journals → research, writing, and persuasive communication.
• Presenting at conferences → public speaking and technical presentation skills.
• Leading a research group → leadership, coordination, and project management.

The key is to start by mapping everything you’ve done to the core skills that matter in your new field before you even think about how to phrase them.

3. Translate Them Into Industry Keywords

Once you’ve identified your transferable skills, the next step is to express them in the language your new industry uses and in the exact keywords that will grab attention.

For example, I learned that “physics analysis” was meaningless to a hiring manager in tech, but “statistical analysis and coding in Python” was instantly recognizable.

• “Presented at international physics conferences” became “delivered technical presentations to audiences of 200+.”
• “Led a particle physics research group” became “managed cross-functional teams to deliver complex projects on tight deadlines.”

If you skip this step, you force the recruiter or hiring manager to mentally translate your background into their terms, and the truth is, most won’t take the time. Make the connection obvious.

4. Highlight Your Unique Strengths

Beyond the core skills, you bring something that most people in your target field won’t have. That unique edge often comes directly from your previous career, and it can set you apart if you present it the right way.

For example, I never knew my knowledge in hardware and Linux systems was useful in tech. It was just part of my work as an experimental physicist, so I didn’t think to include it. Those skills were rarely listed in job descriptions for data science roles, but in interviews, they became a surprising bonus.

If you’re not sure what your hidden strengths are, talk to people who understand both your current field and your target one. Informational interviews and networking can help you see yourself through the eyes of someone who knows what would stand out.

5. Show Your Passion

When I interview candidates making the jump from academia, the biggest red flag isn’t the lack of industry experience, it’s the lack of genuine excitement about the work. If your main motivation is “I want a higher-paying job,” that’s exactly what will come across. To a hiring manager, that suggests you might not truly care about the role or the company’s mission, and that you’re simply looking for a paycheck.

Hiring managers want people who are eager to contribute, curious about the challenges, and genuinely interested in the work. That enthusiasm can be the deciding factor between two equally qualified candidates.

So in your resume, and in interviews, make it clear why you’re making this pivot, what you’ve done to prepare, and what excites you about the problems you’ll get to solve.

Final Thoughts

At the end of the day, your resume is a message to someone who doesn’t know you at all. Picture that person sitting with your resume in hand. What do they want? What worries do they have about hiring someone from outside their industry?

Knowing that, decide what you want them to understand about you and present it in a way they can grasp immediately, without having to do any mental translation.

That’s when your resume stops being just a record of your past and becomes a bridge to your future.

Silence the Noise: 4 Quick-Access Tools for Negative Thoughts

Have you ever felt a surge of excitement about an opportunity, only to have sudden self-doubt creep in right before you raise your hand? You tell yourself to wait, to think it over, and before you know it, the moment's passed. I've been there, and I've lost countless opportunities because I didn't recognize those negative thoughts for what they were, just thoughts, and instead, let them stop me in my tracks.

Recently, a client of mine reached out, feeling completely overwhelmed. Her mind was swamped with thoughts like, "Too many things are happening, I’m overwhelmed, I don’t have control." These negative thoughts triggered intense anxiety and worry. Her typical reaction to this inner chaos was to freeze, leading to avoidance and procrastination. This, in turn, meant things didn't get done, chipping away at her confidence, the very outcome she desperately wanted to avoid.

The good news is that she caught herself. I suggested she take a short walk, just ten minutes, to get some fresh air and a new perspective. That simple action broke the chain reaction. It allowed her to step back, challenge those negative thoughts, and calmly identify small, manageable tasks she could focus on.

While I've been teaching more thorough methodologies for navigating negative thoughts in our women leaders club, sometimes, when we're feeling panicky or the noise gets too loud, we forget all the steps. That's why it's so helpful to have some quick techniques you can use anytime, anywhere, to quiet those unwelcome voices. The goal isn't to force the thoughts away, but to give you simple, practical ways to create space so they don't take over.

1. Visualization: Turn Down the Volume

Visualization is a simple yet powerful technique where you use your imagination to change your experience of a thought. In this case, we'll imagine the negative thought as if it's coming from a device, like a radio, a TV, or even a phone. And just like with any device, you have the power to turn the volume down.

Let's walk through a short example together so you can see how it works. When you try it on your own later, you can adjust it in a way that feels most natural to you. This is just a demonstration to help you get the idea.

1. Close your eyes if that feels okay. Take a deep breath in... and slowly let it out.
2. Now bring to mind the negative thought that keeps popping up.
3. Imagine it’s coming from a device—maybe a radio, a TV, or a phone.
4. Notice how loud it is. Hear the sharpness of the voice, how it pulls at your attention. Maybe it even hurts your ears a little, making it hard to focus on what really matters. You might feel irritated, your body tightens, and all you want is to make it stop.
5. Now, picture your hand reaching for the volume dial. Or maybe it’s the volume-down button on your remote or phone.
6. Begin turning it down... From a 10... to an 8... To a 5... to a 2... Until it’s just a whisper... or even silence.
7. You can barely hear it now. And you begin to feel calmer. The tension softens.
8. Where do you feel that shift in your body? Gently place a hand there, just notice it.
9. Maybe you still see the person talking on the screen, but there’s no sound. It’s quiet now. Maybe it even makes you smile. You’re in control of the volume. And in this moment, you’ve chosen peace.
10. Take one more deep breath here... and enjoy the stillness.

2. Distancing: Let It Float Away

The second tool is called Distancing. 

It’s a way to imagine placing the thought somewhere outside of you. For example, you can picture putting the thought in a bottle or a box, then place that box on a small boat and let it float away down a river. Or imagine writing the thought on a piece of paper (just in your mind) and folding it into a paper airplane, then picture it lifting off and drifting farther and farther away until you can’t see it anymore. There’s no need to do anything to the thought. You’re just letting it move on.

Let’s try one version of this together. Afterward, you can play with whichever version works best for you.

1. Close your eyes if you’re comfortable. Take a deep breath in... and let it out slowly.
2. Now bring to mind that negative thought that you chose earlier.
3. Imagine placing that thought into a small box. Or maybe a jar, or any container that feels right to you. The thought is now contained, separate from you.
4. Now picture a small wooden boat beside a quiet river. Place the box on the boat.
5. And when you’re ready, gently place the boat in the water... and give it a soft push.
6. Watch it begin to float away. The current carries it slowly... steadily... downstream. It gets smaller... lighter... and eventually disappears from view.
7. Take one more deep breath in... and out. You’re still here. The thought is not.

3. Actioning: Break the Pattern

The third tool is called Actioning. 

This one is simple but powerful: you choose a small, intentional action to take when a negative thought shows up. It’s not about figuring out the exact type of thought or remembering the perfect response. It’s about doing something that breaks the pattern.

For example, when a negative thought makes your mind spiral, you might:

• Stand up and walk to the bathroom or kitchen for a glass of water.
• Do a specific stretching move you know.
• Go walk barefoot in your garden for a minute.
• Get up and take a break, even just for 30 seconds.

Tip: To figure out your action, think about your typical reaction to these thoughts. If you tend to freeze and hold back (like my client), your action might be to move your body or speak up (e.g., raise your hand, unmute yourself). The goal is to do something simple, but different from your usual reaction, to shift you out of hesitation and into movement.

So the next time a negative thought shows up, you don’t need to analyze it. Just do that action. Let that action become your signal: "I’m not letting this thought run the show."

4. Reframing: Your Mental Anchor

The fourth tool is called Reframing. 

Instead of choosing an action, this time you choose a thought, a single, clear phrase you can use whenever a negative thought shows up. The purpose of this phrase is to interrupt the negative cycle with something stronger and more helpful, acting as a mental anchor you can reach for in the moment instead of spiraling into self-doubt.

This phrase doesn’t have to match every thought exactly. It just needs to be believable, and something that moves you in the direction you want to go.

Here are some types of phrases you can choose from:

• To separate the thoughts from you: These phrases help you create a mental distance from the thought, reminding you that it's just something your mind is producing, not necessarily a truth about you.
• "It’s my thought, not me speaking."
• "I’m the observer of my thoughts."
• "I’m noticing my negative thoughts coming up."

• To change how you respond: These phrases empower you to choose a different path, rather than being controlled by the thought.
• "I can choose how I respond to this thought."
• "My brain is trying to protect me, but from what?"

• To be kind to yourself: These phrases offer compassion and reassurance when you're feeling vulnerable.
• "I’m allowed to feel this and still move forward."
• "I’m safe right now."

• To focus on the present moment/reality check: These phrases bring you back to what is actually happening now, challenging unhelpful assumptions.
• "What's actually happening in this moment?"
• "Is this thought serving me right now?"

• To focus on moving forward/taking a step: These phrases shift your focus from the problem to potential solutions or next actions, no matter how small.
• "What's one small step I can take?"
• "What's most important right now?"

Choose the type of phrase that resonates most with you, and then pick one specific phrase within that category. This becomes your go-to mental anchor.

These four techniques—Visualization, Distancing, Actioning, and Reframing—offer quick, practical ways to create space from negative thoughts when they arise unexpectedly. Remember, what works best for you might change over time, so feel free to revisit and retry these methods whenever you need to.

Which one will you try today?