17 Types of Self-Limiting Negative Thoughts

We all hear negative thoughts. They are usually irrational and immediately come into our consciousness, especially during stressful or triggering events. These thoughts may have once protected us, but now they often diminish our confidence and abilities.

The first step is to become aware of these thoughts and what triggers them. Then, name them.

Naming and labeling them helps externalize the thought—it becomes “a thought I’m having,” rather than “who I am.” This creates distance and allows for reflection.

As Amit Ray once said:

“You are not your thoughts. You are the observer of your thoughts.”

Once you recognize the type of thought and the situation that triggers it, ask questions to challenge it—because these thoughts are usually irrational. Then, prepare what alternative thought you want to practice next time it shows up.

Below are 17 types of common self-limiting negative thoughts:

1. Mind Reading

You believe you know what others are thinking—typically something negative about you.

Example: You see someone quiet in a meeting and assume they think you’re an idiot.

→ You ignore neutral or ambiguous cues and jump to negative conclusions.

Challenging questions:

• What’s helpful about predicting a negative outcome before it happens?

• What evidence do you have to support this prediction?

• How likely is it that your fear will actually come true?

2. Fortune Telling

You predict a negative outcome, even without solid evidence.

Example: “I’m going to get fired,” after a single mistake.

→ You assume the worst will happen, often prematurely.

Challenging questions:

• Am I assuming I know what someone else is thinking?

• What specific evidence supports my assumption?

• What are some alternative explanations for their behavior that don’t involve me being inadequate?

3. Catastrophizing

You imagine the worst-case scenario and believe it’s the most likely.

Example: “I’ll never get another opportunity again,” after a minor mistake.

→ Reality is more likely to involve feedback and learning, not total exclusion.

Challenging questions:

• How realistic is the worst-case scenario?

• What might happen if the outcome wasn’t as catastrophic as I fear?

• How have I coped with similar situations in the past? How did it go?

4. Labeling

You assign a negative identity to yourself based on a behavior or mistake.

Examples: “I’m incompetent,” “I’m stupid,” “I’m incapable.”

→ These reinforce shame rather than acknowledge growth.

Challenging questions:

• What specific evidence supports this label?

• Can you identify instances where this label doesn’t apply?

• How might this label limit your view of yourself or others?

5. Discounting the Positive

You trivialize or invalidate compliments and achievements.

Example: After praise, you respond with, “But I messed up that one slide.”

→ You transform positive moments into negatives.

Challenging questions:

• Are you dismissing your accomplishments or others’ positive actions?

• What effort or skill went into achieving this success?

• Would you minimize someone else’s success in the same way?

6. Negative Filter

You focus almost entirely on what went wrong, ignoring what went well.

Example: “Nobody likes me,” after one negative interaction.

→ You magnify the bad and erase the good.

Challenging questions:

• What positives might I be overlooking?

• Is there any evidence that contradicts my negative focus?

• How balanced is my view of the situation? What might a more balanced opinion look like?

7. Overgeneralization

You draw broad conclusions from one isolated event.

Example: “I did poorly at that leadership event—I’m not leadership material.”

→ One moment becomes your entire identity.

Challenging questions:

• Am I drawing broad conclusions based on a single event?

• How does one incident define my overall abilities?

• Can I identify situations where the opposite has been true?

• What might a more specific description of this situation look like?

8. Dichotomous Thinking

Also known as all-or-nothing or black-and-white thinking.

Examples: “It was a complete waste of time,” “Everyone rejects me.”

→ There’s no room for nuance or partial success.

Challenging questions:

• Am I seeing this situation as either entirely good or entirely bad?

• Is there a middle ground or partial success I’m overlooking?

• How does this black-and-white perspective affect my view of the situation?

9. Should Statements

You frame expectations as moral imperatives and judge yourself harshly when falling short.

Example: “I should do well. If I don’t, I’m a failure.”

→ “Shoulds” become rigid rules that set you up to feel like a failure.

Challenging questions:

• Am I imposing rigid expectations on myself or others?

• Where did that “should” come from?

• How realistic or helpful is this “should” statement?

• What could I replace “should” with to create a more flexible perspective?

10. Personalization

You believe you’re to blame for things outside your control.

Example: “The project failed—it was all my fault,” in a group setting.

→ You ignore shared responsibility.

Challenging questions:

• Am I taking responsibility for things beyond my control?

• How much responsibility do others share in this situation?

• How would I view this situation if it happened to someone else?

• What would a more balanced view of responsibility look like?

11. Blaming

You focus on others as the source of your problems and resist personal responsibility.

Examples: “My parents caused all my problems,” “If my boss were different, I’d be successful.”

→ This leaves you feeling powerless to change.

Challenging questions:

• Am I attributing my feelings entirely to someone else’s actions?

• How much control do I have over my own feelings and reactions?

• What steps can I take to improve the situation, regardless of others’ actions?

• How does focusing on blame prevent me from finding solutions?

12. Unfair Comparisons

You compare yourself to others with more experience or resources and judge yourself inferior.

Example: “We were in the same MBA class, but I’m nowhere near their level.”

→ “Compare and despair” leads to low self-worth.

Challenging questions:

• Am I comparing myself to someone else without considering my own unique circumstances?

• What strengths or achievements of my own am I overlooking?

• How can I use comparison as inspiration rather than self-criticism?

• How does my journey differ from theirs?

13. Regret Orientation

You dwell on past decisions and ruminate on what you “should have” done.

Examples: “Why did I say that?” “I should’ve done more.”

→ Focus remains on the past instead of present choices.

Challenging questions:

• Am I focusing more on the past than on what I can do now?

• How does this focus on regret affect my present actions?

• What lessons can I learn from the past to inform my future?

• What steps can I take now to create a better outcome?

14. What-Ifs

You worry about endless negative scenarios.

Examples: “What if I fail?” “What if I get anxious?”

→ Rarely satisfied by reassurances, these thoughts stall action.

Challenging questions:

• Am I asking hypothetical questions that lack definitive answers?

• What evidence suggests this worst-case scenario will happen?

• How has worrying helped or hurt me in similar situations?

• What is the most realistic outcome?

15. Emotional Reasoning

You use your feelings to determine truth.

Example: “I felt nervous, so that must’ve been a disaster.”

→ Emotions are treated as facts.

Challenging questions:

• Am I assuming that my feelings accurately reflect reality?

• What evidence supports or contradicts my interpretation?

• How might temporary emotions influence my perspective?

• What other explanations could there be for my feelings?

16. Successful Judgment Focus

You measure yourself and others by arbitrary standards of success.

Example: “They’re making more money than me—I’m falling behind.”

→ You constantly evaluate, rather than understand or accept.

Challenging questions:

• Am I dismissing evidence that challenges my belief?

• What would it take for me to accept positive feedback?

• How does holding onto this belief serve or harm me?

• What small steps could I take to test this belief?

17. Inability to Disconfirm

You dismiss or reject any evidence that contradicts your negative belief.

Example: “One person gave me bad feedback—see, I am a bad speaker,” despite positive feedback.

→ You make your negative belief unfalsifiable.

Challenging questions:

• Am I judging myself or others based on rigid or unrealistic standards?

• Who decides what “success” or “failure” means?

• How does focusing on judgments limit my growth or happiness?

• What would happen if I focused on understanding rather than evaluating?

Which ones do you resonate with the most?

Ask yourself the challenging questions. Do you have a new, more balanced thought you’d like to hold onto instead? Write it down.

Next time that negative thought shows up, have your new thought ready.