Play the Full Field

I was watching a soccer game years ago—don’t ask me which teams, I’m not a big fan. What stuck with me wasn’t the score but something a commentator said when a player received a yellow card late in the game.

“He has another yellow card he can use. It’s almost the end—he should play even more aggressively.”

Wait—use a yellow card? I always thought of it as a punishment. Something that meant: you did something wrong, now you better behave differently.

But the commentator saw it not as a punishment, but as a tool—something to use strategically to win the game.

That moment stayed with me.

We often hear that women “play too safe.” We use only a portion of the field. Meanwhile, others are out there playing the whole field—including yellow cards.

What It Means to Push

There’s a line from an old Korean drama that I often come back to. A manager was asked to fire all his employees. Instead, he sought legal advice to protect them. When the company found out, they threatened to fire him. His employees misunderstood him and withdrew support. Discouraged, he decided to just quit.

The labor lawyer asked him:

“You’re going to leave without even throwing one punch?”

Then he said something I’ll never forget:

“Some people will hit you back ten times harder. Others will step back. But you won’t know until you throw the first punch. Only then can you see where the line actually is. And only when you see the line, can you choose to cross it.”

In other words: you learn your real limits by testing them.

I experienced this myself when I was a postdoc doing research assigned by my professor. Around that time, the Higgs boson search was becoming a big deal, and there was an opportunity to join the effort at the lab.

Part of me hesitated—I felt I should talk to my professor first. But another part of me couldn’t help it. I raised my hand.

I was so nervous, I decided I’d only work on it in the evenings and weekends. But eventually, I needed to use work hours. I kept telling myself, just a few more weeks, and we’ll submit the paper.

Then one day, my professor walked into my office and said,

“Hojeong, I heard you’re working on the Higgs boson search.”

My heart dropped. I imagined him yelling. Firing me. I was on a visa—what would happen? A dozen fears flashed through my mind in a split second.

I barely got out a word.

Then he said,

“It’s great you took proactive action to work on such an important project. Great job. Keep it up.”

And he walked out.

I stood there frozen. That was the moment I realized:

sometimes the scariest boundary is the one I draw in my own mind.

Where Are You Holding Back?

Fast forward to now. I hear similar hesitations from clients all the time:

• “How do I tell the interviewer I want work-life balance?”
• “How can I let my boss know I’m exploring other roles?”
• “My boss keeps pinging me at night—what do I do?”

It’s as if wanting balance, exploring options, or spending evenings with family is somehow wrong.

So I ask them:

Will your work suffer because of your work-life balance, job search, or family time?

They always say no.

Then why are you asking for permission?

You don’t need to ask. You just do it.

If you really want to say something, say it matter-of-factly. Not asking permission. Not apologizing.

You’re not being selfish. You’re not betraying anyone.

You’re just playing the game more fully—using all the cards you have.

Look for the Clues

Where in your life do you find yourself saying things like:

• “I don’t want to bother them.”
• “They might get upset.”
• “It's not much. I can just do it.”

These are the whispers of fear. These are signs you may be playing it safe instead of playing it full.

What would change if you played the full field?

What might you discover if you found out where the boundary really is?

Throw your first punch.

Use the yellow card.

Play the whole damn field.

You might be surprised how much room you actually have.