Championing those with Audacity, Courage, and a Big Heart

I recently shared my refocused goal of helping people "wake up" and make conscious decisions in their lives. The response was overwhelming. Many asked who exactly I want to support. Here's my answer.

The ideal individuals I want to support are those who embody three core values: Audacity, Courage and a Big Heart.

Audacity:

They are not merely dreamers but achievers. Some have traveled to other countries or even continents chasing their dreams. Some are the pioneers in their families, being the first to attend college or attain higher degrees. Others shouldered responsibilities early on, perhaps caring for younger siblings at the expense of their own childhood. Some braved the challenges of divorce to protect themselves and their children. There are those who climbed to the top in one field, only to start from scratch in another. Some have broken through glass and bamboo ceilings, always pushing boundaries. Some have even left stable jobs to pursue innovative business ideas, or voiced dissent against established norms, advocating for change.

They are brave people with big dreams. They refuse to settle. They challenge the status quo. When others say, "this is how it is", they counter with, "there must be other ways". For them, risk is better than regret. They understand that real confidence stems from their actions, and that clarity is often emerges from those very endeavors.

Courage:

They're not merely comfortable with being uncomfortable. They take actions in the face of fear. They tackle challenges, knowing they might fail. They ask for things, fully aware of potential rejection. They voice their truths, even if criticism might follow. Most importantly, they always strive to do what's right, regardless of external validation.

Big Hearted:

Their aspirations extend beyond themselves. Their dreams envelop their families, friends, communities and beyond. Their compassion is profound. Even when faced with rejection from loved ones, their hearts remain open and giving.

These are the individuals I'm here for.

I assist them in crystallizing their next milestones and envisioning their subsequent audacious dreams. Together, we chart the course forward. I bolster their mindset, equipping them to face internal challenges, ensuring they savor the entire journey, not just the end goal. I help identify and hone the skills that will uplevel them. By pinpointing what depletes their energy, whether it's tasks, places or people, I help eliminate these obstacles. Once they're energized, they begin to perceive previously unseen opportunities.

This is my mission for the audacious, courageous, big-hearted souls out there.

Beyond the Script: My Reawakening to Authenticity

 I hosted my first webinar on Asian women's leadership this week. To be honest, I was filled with apprehension. There was strong resistance inside me, almost pushing me to cancel. I wondered if it was just nerves about running a live event, so I stepped out of my comfort zone and proceeded. I discussed assessing, planning, and achieving goals, the common challenges faced, and their solutions. One participant called it thought-provoking, which felt validating. But still, I felt a lingering unease and had trouble sleeping.

On reflection, I realized the topic, while important, wasn't what truly drove me. Yes, achieving goals and assuming leadership roles matter, and I can certainly guide on that, but it wasn't why I left my corporate job. I left the corporate world to empower Asian women to embrace authenticity in leadership and to democratize coaching through an app, widening its accessibility. My passion originates from a place of frustration. Society often hands us a set script: study hard as kids, and later, pursue specific jobs. Growing up, I was frequently asked about my future ambitions. But as I matured, those questions faded, as if society had predetermined my milestones. What irks me is the assumption that these set markers guarantee my happiness. They don't truly know me, so how can they dictate my joy? The result of this societal mold is heightened competition and constant comparison. In Korea, we reference the 'mother's friend's child'—an idealized figure of perfection. They excel in school, career, and personal life. While this might be an acute phenomenon in Korea, the U.S. too isn't immune to the pitfalls of comparison. If this scripted life genuinely satisfied all, I'd understand. But I see many grappling with exhaustion, anxiety, and a lack of fulfillment. It's like a competitive game not everyone chose but still feels compelled to play. Some might enjoy this game, but for many, it's a source of unending stress. It disturbs me how few stop to reconsider this path. They're preoccupied with their own burnouts and rarely ponder what they genuinely desire. I want to instigate change, where individuals consciously choose their paths, in line with their desires and values. This drove me to embark on my current journey. Achieving goals and securing top roles are valuable, but what matters more to me is conscious decision-making. My aim is to encourage people to make these decisions with full awareness. I'm still on this journey and sometimes find myself drifting amidst varied opinions about successful coaching. This week, I refocused. I know distractions may arise, but my goal is to realign swiftly. I believe in the power of a supportive community, and I've created such a space. If this speaks to you, you're welcome to join: https://www.facebook.com/groups/6776578362463145

The AI Paradigm: Pondering Our Place in an Automated World

I recently found myself deep in a fascinating discussion with fellow data aficionados. Our primary focus? The ever-expanding realm of Artificial Intelligence (AI) and its implications for our shared future.

Human Relationships in an AI Era

Our conversation started with pondering those facets of life where AI might never truly replace human touch. A predominant thought was our human-to-human relationships, those profound connections that seemingly stand resilient against technological intrusions. But then, a realization struck — the younger generations, like Gen Z, are already transitioning from traditional conversations to texting. So, the question stands: Will AI eventually alter even our most intimate human interactions?

The Evolving Skill Set for Tomorrow

A few years back, platforms like Roblox championed the idea of teaching coding to the young minds, setting them up for a digital future. Today, the same platform, driven by AI, allows users to merely describe a game feature, which the system then codes autonomously. This rapid evolution makes us question: Will coding still be the golden skill for the next generation? Or will we have shifted our paradigm by then?

There was a consensus on one thing: While AI excels in problem-solving, it might not be the best judge of which problems need solving. Our future workforce will need to excel in business insight, problem identification, and effectively harnessing AI to navigate challenges. Moreover, having a deep understanding of data nuances and analytical methodologies, coupled with good old-fashioned common sense, will be non-negotiable.

Yet, the AI boon also means a potential reduction in traditional job roles. As AI systems become more sophisticated, the manpower required for similar outputs dwindles.

The Unknown Horizon

But here lies the crux: Will the rise of AI pave the way for new job opportunities, much like previous industrial revolutions did? Or are we on the cusp of a paradigm shift, where our creations could overshadow us, becoming entities beyond our control? It's an unsettling thought - will these AI entities be benevolent tools, indifferent observers, or something far more concerning?

Closing Thoughts

As we venture deeper into the AI age, it's paramount that we mold our skills to be both compatible with AI while retaining elements that AI cannot replicate. Emphasizing creativity, ethical discernment, and problem identification will be more crucial than ever.

Thank you for accompanying me on this introspective journey. If these musings resonated with you, I'd appreciate your engagement. Share, comment, and let's continue this dialogue.

Setting Boundaries: A Gentle Guide to Authentic Leadership

In our interconnected world, where responsibilities can quickly become overwhelming, saying 'no' sometimes seems like an unaffordable luxury. Have you ever accepted work that you weren't keen on doing simply because uttering that tiny word felt...wrong?

We’ve all been there – reluctant to reject requests, afraid of upsetting someone, or perhaps, fearing potential retaliatory actions. The weight of these concerns can prevent us from prioritizing tasks essential to our goals, foster stress, and nurture resentment.

The challenge with saying 'no' stems from its harsh undertone, which often feels like we’re disregarding or disrespecting the requester.

A New Perspective on Boundaries

Think of setting boundaries as providing a warm, friendly guide on navigating your personal space without evoking awkwardness or discomfort.

For instance, if someone asks you to call them, clear guidelines on suitable call times remove your guesswork and any associated apprehension. “Feel free to call me anytime between now and 6 pm today” – such specifics allow the caller to interact within your comfort zone without apprehension.

In this light, saying 'no' transforms into an act of setting and sharing boundaries.

The Dual Facet of Boundaries

Establishing boundaries is not solely for your benefit. It builds trust. Clear and honest communication about your needs and limits allows others to interact with you confidently, knowing they are respecting your wishes.

Consider a scenario where you aim to do something pleasant for someone, believing you’ve succeeded, only to later hear complaints. Not the best feeling, right? Setting boundaries helps you evade such scenarios, enhancing trust because people comprehend that your words genuinely represent your desires.

Authentic Leadership Through Boundaries

Moreover, having and adhering to boundaries is a vital component of authentic leadership. Leaders who carve out time for what’s genuinely crucial for them, their teams, and their organizations not only garner more respect but also model a life that many aspire to. Essentially, your adherence to your boundaries subtly inspires others to do the same, fostering a mutually respectful environment where everyone is encouraged to thrive as authentic leaders.

But, as we know, it’s no easy journey. Identifying and communicating our boundaries present two major hurdles.

Defining Your Boundaries

To decipher your boundaries, list down all the roles you embody in this world, which might span from your professional title to personal roles like a daughter, wife, mother, sister, friend, or volunteer. For each role, deliberate on what truly constitutes your responsibilities and what doesn’t.

Think about your boundaries in two layers:

• The Core: These are uncompromisable, to be maintained without exception.
• The Optimal: These can be occasionally sacrificed but are ideally upheld for your overall happiness.

For example, choosing not to work in the evening to enjoy family time could be an optimal boundary. You might occasionally sacrifice this time for skill enhancement but revert to your boundary once that period is over.

Conclusion

Navigating the realms of personal and professional life while maintaining our mental and emotional wellbeing can be akin to tightrope walking. Boundaries serve as our safety net, offering protection, building trust, and paving the way for authentic leadership.

Your insights and thoughts are valuable. Feel free to share them in the comments below and let’s continue this enlightening discussion together.

Coaching - A Journey of Nurturing Inner Clarity and Overcoming Resistance

Ever found yourself pondering the crossroads of personal development, wondering which path to take? When do you need a mentor, a coach, or perhaps a therapist? The journey to personal growth and leadership isn't one-size-fits-all, and understanding the nuances, the 'whens' and 'whys' of employing different growth tools can be a catalyst for impactful transformation. Let’s explore the vibrant tapestry of coaching and how it intertwines with other avenues of professional and personal advancement.

Diving into the realm of personal and professional development often brings us to the confluence of various growth tools, namely reading, mentoring, consulting, coaching, and therapy. Each one offers its unique facets and fits into our journey differently, and today, we'll unwrap the essence of coaching in this mix.

Mentoring, a concept most of us are familiar with, involves learning from an individual who has walked our desired path, sharing their experiences and ideas to guide us forward. In a world buzzing with myriad voices, influencers, and schools of thought, all generously showering us with diverse, sometimes conflicting ideas, mentoring provides a direction. But the challenge it brings lies in the overwhelming plethora of perspectives, which, while enlightening, can also create a noisy, confusing environment that makes practical implementation a hurdle.

In this cacophony, coaching emerges with a distinct resonance. A coach isn’t necessarily an expert in your specific field. Think of a coach as a reflective mirror, gently directing you to examine the world within you. The beauty of coaching lies in its ability to take what you already know or believe in, and magnify that through conviction and resonance, aiding you in overcoming internal resistance and making your desires more pronounced.

How does coaching distinguish itself from other growth tools, you might wonder?

Reading and mentoring are wonderful, especially when we're venturing into a new area. They facilitate quick information ingestion and are apt for simpler contexts where quick action upon acquired knowledge is possible. Then comes consulting, which is tailored for richer contexts and complexities, offering an external perspective to navigate through intricate situations.

Coaching, however, operates on a unique dimension, particularly potent when it involves honing our leadership and intuition. In situations where mere information is either insufficient or overwhelmingly abundant, we often need to lean on our intuition. When we’re gripped by an inexplicable resistance, where our body and emotions seemingly pull us away from actions we know we should take, coaching stands out. It addresses higher resistance levels, exploring and gently grappling with the emotional or subconscious barriers preventing our desired actions.

Meanwhile, therapy tends to address even higher resistance levels, frequently intertwined with mental health conditions, offering a different kind of support and navigational aid through our journeys.

In the ebb and flow of our life and career, coaching does more than just help navigate through resistance. It assists in unearthing our core values and missions, aligning our actions with our inner beliefs. When a sense of misalignment lingers in our life, it's often an indication that our actions and path are not in sync with our deepest values. Coaching allows us to peel back the layers, discovering not only our core values but also forming our missions from them.

In scenarios where you find yourself in uncharted territories, steering your own ship, making pivotal decisions, coaching aids in sharpening your intuition, trusting yourself, and providing a space to organize and distill your thought processes.

In a world ever-brimming with information and advice, carving out a path that's intrinsically yours is both an art and a journey. Coaching serves as a compass in this adventure, not by directing your path but by helping you navigate through your internal landscapes, steering through resistances, and amplifying your intrinsic values and intuition. Whether you find yourself in the leadership realm or amid personal development, may the clarity derived from this exploration guide you effectively through your varied pathways. Remember, your journey is uniquely yours, but sometimes, having a reflective mirror (a coach) by your side can illuminate paths hidden in your own reflections, allowing your intrinsic light and wisdom to lead the way.

The 'WHAT' and 'WHY' Before the 'HOW': A Journey Into Effective Leadership

In my interactions with individuals intrigued by data science and analytics, a notable 70% express a desire to delve into machine learning (ML). However, when asked about the challenges they'd tackle with this newfound knowledge, their responses are predominantly blank. Only a handful, say about 10%, can conjure up an exciting project, the rest offer no reply.

This is a human bias, wherein we're more fixated on the 'HOW' and lose sight of the 'WHAT' and 'WHY'.

In our endeavors to resolve a given problem, do we ever wonder who identified the problem in the first place? Or why that problem was chosen over numerous others? This is the divide between leaders and non-leaders.

Leaders pinpoint the challenges and articulate why it's essential to resolve them. With a clear understanding of 'what' problems to address and 'why', figuring out 'how' becomes relatively straightforward. This explains why many professionals start their careers in individual contributor roles, learning the ropes of problem-solving and implementation.

The question of "how to get promoted or become a leader" surfaces quite often. There's no shortage of advice, ranging from increasing visibility, showcasing your work, improving presentation skills, influencing others without authority, and adopting a leader's language, among other things.

While I agree with these, they aren't sufficient. You can be an exceptional problem solver, be well-recognized, but you'll hit a ceiling if you only solve problems that are handed to you. Now, this isn't necessarily a bad thing. If your joy lies in tackling complex problems, but choosing the problems to solve isn't your cup of tea, you're likely to excel as a technical leader. Leadership, after all, isn't restricted to those with senior titles. But aspiring senior leaders should focus on identifying bigger problems to solve.

A crucial point to remember is that the quest for 'WHAT' and 'WHY' shouldn't come at the expense of 'HOW'. Either surround yourself with people who excel in 'HOW' or equip yourself with that knowledge. We've all had a leader who doesn't comprehend the intricacies of our work, who dismisses our efforts with remarks like, "This seems simple. Why is it taking so long?" Or a leader who hires someone incapable of resolving the problem. Therefore, don't shy away from the 'HOW'. Keep refining your skills but simultaneously cultivate your ability to identify the 'WHAT' and 'WHY'. You'll soon find yourself in a leadership role.

If you found this article thought-provoking, I'd like to invite you to listen to a related discussion on this topic on my YouTube channel.

My Journey from Surviving to Thriving

Embarking on a journey from the regimented corporate world to a life illuminated by my top three values - Thriving, Fun, and Courage - was both an adventure and an introspective lesson. The wise words of my coach, framing these values succinctly as doing "fun and scary things to feel thriving," has become my beacon in post-corporate life, providing direction in moments of indecision.

Utilizing these values as a prioritization tool has been nothing short of enlightening. Whenever faced with numerous tasks or options, I'd ask myself: What is the most fun and scary thing to do? Prioritizing in this manner always steered me toward opportunities that not only challenged me but also injected an element of joy into the endeavor.

Earlier this week, a tangible manifestation of my values presented itself when I spoke briefly about mentoring to around 100 people and launched my app, Betterself.ai, on both the AppStore and PlayStore. For the first time, when updating my LinkedIn profile with my new venture and being asked if I wanted to notify my network, I boldly chose 'yes'. The ensuing flood of congratulatory messages from dozens, including many I hadn’t spoken to in years, was both exhilarating and a tad intimidating.

A peculiar sensation bubbled within me - a lively, light electricity traveling up and down my body, keeping me astonishingly awake and alert. This was an unfamiliar sensation, one that I initially couldn’t quite place. However, after a reflective conversation with my coach, I identified this novel feeling: thriving. It was an intricate blend of excitement and a smattering of fear.

My pre-thriving life was substantially a survival mode, a life underpinned by a fear-driven mentality. The terror of not achieving created a hypothetical consequence: living a life I truly didn’t desire. Although if posed with the question - would my life have been dreadful if I hadn’t achieved all that I did? The honest answer would oscillate between 'I don’t know' and probably finding alternate pathways to contentment. But, that fear was a potent motivator, propelling me to earn a Ph.D., secure reputable jobs, ascend to leadership roles, and earn a decent income.

However, a moment arrived when these achievements and financial stability were no longer sufficient. I yearned for a different life - one aligned with my newfound values. Yet, when I finally stepped into this thriving life, recognizing the accompanying feelings was a challenge in itself. Initially misinterpreting this bustling sensation of ‘thriving’ as a peculiar anomaly that needed fixing, it was enlightening to realize that for someone desiring a life infused with fun and mild fear, this was exactly how thriving was supposed to feel.

The realization that thriving felt drastically different from my expectations was surprising yet welcoming. I'm now looking forward to feeling this more often, reveling in a life that’s both fun and a little scary.

And this nudges me to ask you: What are you feeling at this moment? What kind of life are you currently living?

If you found this article thought-provoking, I'd like to invite you to listen to a related discussion on this topic on my YouTube channel.

Redefining Success: A Reflection on Expectations and Reality

Ever wondered what success looks like for you in the roles you deeply care about, such as being a leader, a mentor, or even a parent? I experienced a ponder-worthy moment at a women’s organization's mentoring event recently. Picture this: Speaking fluently, with clarity and projection, engaging an audience, sharing victories, and at the close, a roaring applause and a flurry of questions.

Reality check: Almost there, but not quite! My voice? Clear and loud. My speech? Fluent and unblocked. The audience? Engaged. But the cheers and the vivacious applause I anticipated? They didn’t quite materialize.

As an introvert speaking to around 100 people (especially post-COVID), the experience was... well, let’s say, a 'tingly' adventure. I felt I did splendidly, yet a pang of perceived failure lingered. Can you relate? Ever felt you've nailed it but still harbored a sense of failure?

A client of mine echoed this sentiment. In her dream job, in a leadership role meant to bring innovation to a well-bonded team, her new ideas were met with lukewarm reactions instead of enthusiastic engagement. She was doing an impeccable job, yet her internal yardstick for success—measured by the team's reaction—left her feeling less-than.

Here’s the epiphany: When our image of 'success' hinges on how others react, it escapes our control, transforming into an elusive target. The power move? Reframe success to encompass only what's within our control: our actions, thoughts, and words.

My client was, in fact, a stellar leader, laying down a foundation of innovation and future-proofing for an organization that, perhaps, didn’t realize it needed it. Me? I spoke with poise, clarity, and without hesitation to a large, engaged audience – a triumph in its own right!

A coach once shared with me a lesson in perceptions: After a workshop, an attendee, who seemed skeptical throughout, approached him with praise, declaring it the best workshop he’d ever attended. A poignant reminder: You simply can't decipher thoughts from demeanor.

If you're nodding along, re-evaluating your images of success, and if you wish to redefine your benchmarks with someone by your side, reach out. Your journey toward reframing success might just need a companion!

If you found this article thought-provoking, I'd like to invite you to listen to a related discussion on this topic on my YouTube channel.