What is Your Recognition Desire?

 The psychoanalyst Jacques Lacan referred to the desire for recognition from others as the "recognition desire." He suggested that even our deepest desires hidden in our subconscious are not entirely our own but are influenced by the expectations and recognition of others. He famously stated, "The unconscious is the desire of the Other."

When we want something, we often believe it's our own desire, but in reality, it may be driven by what others in society expect or value. We may think we've been living our lives for our own sake, but in truth, we might have been striving to meet the expectations and gain the approval of others.

Ironically, receiving praise can sometimes create immense pressure. When someone is praised, they might feel the need to maintain that level of performance to avoid disappointing others. There's a fear that if they fall short of those expectations, others might think, "Oh, it wasn't as impressive as I thought. Maybe I was wrong." In such cases, praise becomes a tool for judgment and control, a means to impose one's expectations on another.

When questions like, "Why am I living this way?" or "Is this really so important?" arise in our lives, we shouldn't simply dismiss them. Instead, we should take a moment to reflect on whether we are living the life we truly desire or if we are conforming to societal expectations. It's possible that we've sacrificed too much of our own aspirations to seek the recognition and praise of others. If that's the case, it could be a turning point in our journey to discover our true selves and the life we genuinely desire.

The more we understand ourselves, the more we can establish unshakable principles for our lives. People with such principles are less likely to be swayed by the recognition and praise of others. Like a spine supporting our bodies, strong principles uphold and sustain their lives.

This was the topic we discussed at this week’s Women Leaders Community session. Check it out if you want to find out more: [https://www.kimcoachinggroup.com/women-leaders-units] If you'd like to receive more insightful content like this, consider subscribing to our newsletter [https://tinyurl.com/3p6j2c2p].