Why Are Women Leaders Feeling Stuck? - Limited Role Models

We live in a time when women are encouraged to follow their dreams and pursue career goals. This shift is surprisingly recent. My grandmother wasn’t allowed to go to school. My mother was allowed to study but wasn’t able to pursue a career. Now, we live in a time where women can do anything—and thrive.

Yet, many women still struggle. Are you one of them?

On one hand, you feel empowered, like you can do anything. On the other hand, you feel powerless. People say, "You can do anything you want," and you think, "What does that even mean? I don’t know how to do that."

There’s plenty of advice out there: Find an advocate, get a sponsor—someone who has a seat on a table and will put your name on the table. But you might think, "How do I even begin to do that?" Or, you hear, "Be more visible," and an inner voice fights back, "I don’t want to be visible."

One of the biggest reasons for this struggle is the lack of relatable role models. Sure, there are super badass female execs, but you wonder, where are the women between them and me? Some love those role models, and that’s great. But for many others, they want different kind of women leadership role models, but they can't find them. Or, some of them want to be super badass female execs someday, but it seems too far away for them right now. They want some stepping stones that feel achievable, but those examples are hard to find. Does that resonate with you?

This can be mentally exhausting. As a high-achieving woman who’s worked incredibly hard to get to where you are, you’re used to having people guide you—parents, teachers, mentors. They showed you what success looked like and affirmed your progress. But now, no one is guiding you. You’re used to striving for the next step, but you don’t even know what you’re striving for anymore. It feels like you’re treading water—working hard but going nowhere. There’s that nagging feeling inside: "I want more, but I don’t know how to get there." Should you be doing more, or are you doing okay? The confusion is draining.

This leads many women to settle for the status quo, thinking, "I should just be grateful for what I have." Others begin exploring opportunities outside their current company but struggle because they’re unsure of what they’re seeking, and often, the options don’t feel any more fulfilling.

That’s why defining what you want is more important than ever. It’s no longer about waiting for others to dictate the path forward—you’re in the driver’s seat now. You have the power to design your own end goal, something that aligns with your values, strengths, and passions. It’s important because no one else can do this for you.

Imagine setting off on a journey where the destination isn’t clearly marked. The idea of charting a course without a visible end goal can feel overwhelming and even scary. But this is where your strength lies—taking the time to figure out what you truly want, what you’re capable of, and how to get there.

By clarifying these things, you start to see that any dream, no matter how ambitious, is within your reach. The road may not be straightforward, and yes, it requires time and commitment. But once you’ve mapped out what you want and how to get there, you'll have a direction and a sense of purpose guiding every step. The obstacles along the way become challenges you know how to tackle, and with each step, you’ll find yourself getting closer to the life and career you’ve dreamed of.

I’ve seen my clients achieve dream roles they never thought possible. A coach can help you organize your thoughts, clarify your goals, and build a step-by-step plan to make it happen. Beyond just planning, a coach guides you through the entire journey, helping you stay on course and overcome obstacles along the way. Sometimes, the pieces are already within you—you just need the right guidance to put them in order.

Want to learn how I can help you? Book a consultation call today.

Breaking Through Imposter Syndrome with Subha Shetty

I had the honor of interviewing Subha Shetty, a remarkable leader in the AI and tech space, to discuss imposter syndrome, particularly as it affects minority women leaders. Our conversation delved into the deep-rooted feelings of self-doubt that can persist despite external success and how those emotions manifest differently for women from diverse backgrounds.

Subha shared her inspiring personal journey, starting from her upbringing in a small, conservative town in South India to becoming a fractional Chief AI Officer and Product Officer at multiple startups in Silicon Valley. Despite her impressive achievements, she openly discussed how imposter syndrome has been a constant challenge, even when she reached leadership positions in companies like eBay and Walmart.

We explored how imposter syndrome is often misunderstood. Subha pointed out that it’s not about a lack of confidence but rather an internal belief that one’s success is undeserved, despite evidence to the contrary. This is something many high-achieving women experience, especially when the representation and relatable role models feel lacking.

One of the standout moments from the interview was Subha's story about a conversation with Indra Nooyi, the former CEO of PepsiCo, which transformed her perspective. Nooyi casually mentioned she didn't know much about the CPG industry when she started, but that didn’t stop her from becoming a powerhouse in the field. That moment normalized the struggle for Subha and reinforced the idea that even top leaders deal with self-doubt, making it okay to not have all the answers right away.

Throughout the interview, Subha shared valuable strategies for managing imposter syndrome, emphasizing the importance of preparation, self-awareness, and surrounding yourself with supportive mentors and networks. She reminded us that overcoming imposter syndrome is not about eliminating it entirely but learning how to manage and harness it in a productive way.

If you're interested in hearing more about Subha's strategies and her experiences as a woman leader overcoming imposter syndrome, watch the full interview here.

Dark Side of Superpower

We all have superpowers. That’s how we’ve achieved things in our lives that we’re proud of. But every superpower has a dark side. For the most part, the benefits outweigh the drawbacks. But sometimes, we start to notice that dark side showing up more and more.

Some people don’t see it until it’s too late, while others are aware and keep an eye on it, ready to adjust and stay optimal.

I discovered the dark side of my superpower recently. I’ve always been an independent person. My mom, feeling she wasn’t independent enough, wanted to raise a daughter who was. She sent me to the store alone as a child, sometimes even to return items.

When I was accepted into a Ph.D. program in the U.S. and moved here, I figured out every step on my own. Sure, I got help from various resources, but nobody held my hand through the journey.

I believed life was lonely. I heard people say, "Even if you have family and friends, you die alone." That stuck with me. I thought, in the end, I’d always have to face the hardest parts of life by myself.

I couldn’t rely on others for the important things because, at the end of the day, those things impacted me the most. So, they were my responsibility.

I’ve got plenty of stories about achieving things without any help—and I was proud of that.

After becoming more self-aware, I started to feel like the woman in this story:

A woman in the military was assigned to change the massive wheel of a military vehicle. As she worked, she noticed her superior officer watching her. Instead of asking for help, she pushed herself harder, determined to prove she could do it alone—especially as a woman. 

When she finally finished, her superior said, “I was waiting for you to ask for help. It’s a two-person job. I’m impressed you managed it on your own.”

The dark side of my superpower was that I felt lonely. I was always alone, even when surrounded by people. I hated networking events and never felt like I belonged. I didn’t trust others enough to ask for help because that meant exposing my weakness. And without that trust, I couldn’t achieve bigger things that required other people’s help.

Once I became aware of this, it felt like I had worn goggles my entire life that made others invisible. I had always been alone. There was no community where I truly felt I belonged. But after removing those goggles, I started to feel deeply connected to myself and others.

A few months ago, I spent four days with nearly 200 strangers and, for the first time, I felt like I belonged. It was a massive shift, allowing me to keep my independence while minimizing its dark side.

So, what about you? What’s your superpower—and what’s its dark side? How is it affecting you?

If you want to explore your superpower and its impact, let’s talk. Book a consultation call today.

What It Means to Be a True Leader

In the tech industry, leadership is often equated with having direct reports. But I’ve never agreed with that. Here’s what leadership truly means to me:

Leaders are the ones who ask questions when nobody else does. They challenge assumptions when others are focused on answering them. They ask why when everyone else is busy executing.

True leaders own their lives. They don’t just follow what others have told them—they learn, but they don’t rush to decide what’s 'right' or 'wrong' based solely on what they’ve been taught. When they encounter something that most people label as 'wrong,' they get curious. They try to see what's really happening instead of accepting what they’re supposed to see. They evolve their knowledge and form their own opinions.

Ask yourself these questions to see if you’re truly leading:

• When you hear 'no,' do you immediately give up?
• When someone says, "this is how it's done here," do you accept it without question?
• If you’re given a task you’ve never done before and can't find similar examples, do you get anxious?
• Do you automatically assume there must be a good reason for a task, even if it doesn’t make sense, and execute without question?
• When someone does something unexpected, do you quickly label it as 'bad' or 'wrong'?

Many of my clients embody this type of leadership. They remain curious and open to seeing things as they are, not just as they’re supposed to be. They challenge what they’ve learned, test it, and build their own insights. As a result, they create the roles they’ve always wanted:

• One client, after a layoff, intended to apply for a lower-level role to increase her chances of being hired. After working together, she applied at her current level and received an offer one title higher, with a salary increase.
• Another client felt there was no room for growth in her company and was considering leaving. Together, we worked to create her dream role, which her employer then offered her.
• A third client felt she wasn’t seen as a leader, only as an executor. After coaching, she applied for leadership roles in other companies and secured a position three levels above her current role.

They all thought it wasn’t possible, but I knew it was because they were true leaders in their lives.

So, what about you? Are you already stepping into your true leadership, or are you ready to start? If you’re ready to fully embrace your potential as a leader, let’s explore how. Book a consultation call today and take the next step.

Why I Became a Life Coach: A Personal Confession

This is a note I wrote late at night, when I was feeling really emotional, about my journey to becoming a life coach. Honestly, it feels a little uncomfortable to share it publicly, but I’m doing it because I believe there might be someone out there who needs to hear it. If you've ever felt scared, played small, and felt disappointed in yourself for it, you might resonate with my story.

————— ◦°•°◦ ————— ◦°•°◦ —————

I wasn't valued by my parents and teachers.

I was scolded if I share my thoughts that are not aligned with their values.

But, I didn't like the values they insisted I should have.

So, I started to hide.

I sat in a dark space, built fences around it, so nobody could find my true self and hurt me.

I doubted myself, wondering if there's something wrong with me.

And I hated myself for feeling this way.

I decided to try doing what I wanted.

Because if I fail, I will have to do what they want me to do anyways. I had nothing to lose.

My trials worked sometimes. I got a PhD, got married and have a son, landed a good job.

Through all these success, I kept this part of myself hidden.

I was ashamed of it. I wanted to deny it existed.

And almost forgot about it.

Then one day, it came back and it hurt.. so much. I even cried in front of colleagues.

For the first time in my life, I shared this with another soul. And he still loved me.

This gave me the courage to seek resources that could help me.

I opened up to a few of my closest friends, and they empathized with me. They shared their own dark and deep secrets.

Now, I could share this with public. I was not ashamed of this part of me anymore.

Instead, I felt proud of my journey, for the first time.

And my life has changed, permanently.

In the beginning, I spent all my time alone in that dark space, scared.

Now, I spend a lot more times in the proud space. But still, I visit the dark place sometimes.

Most of the times, I feel hopeful and I see opportunities and possibilities.

I feel powerful and courageous.

I feel resourceful and creative. I know I will figure things out.

But still, sometimes, I crawl back into the dark space behind the fence.

I doubt my capability.

I am scared of the shame I will feel when I fail.

I end up playing small.

And I feel disappointed in myself for feeling this way.. again.

I love when I'm in the proud space.

I love feeling powerful and courageous. I love the energy that comes from seeing hope, opportunity and possibility.

I feel empathy for the part of me that stays in the dark space, and I want to help her.

Because I know what it's like to feel small and scared.

Because I know I can feel powerful instead.

Because I know I can help other women who feel small and scared to feel powerful too.

That's why I became a coach.

Do you ever feel small and scared?

Do you doubt your capability and feel powerless and hopeless?

Do you play small to be safe?

Are you unhappy that you feel this way?

Do you want to feel powerful?

Do you want to see the possibility and opportunity too?

Do you want some help with that? If so, let's talk. Book a consultation call with me.