Why Do So Many Women Leaders Feel Like They’ve Hit a Wall? - Optimization Trap

I remember reading biographies of great figures and wondering why there weren’t any heroes in the present day. As a kid, I thought it would be amazing to live in a time of heroes. But as I grew up, I realized heroes do exist—they’re just not labeled as such yet. In college, I started finding these heroes in real time by following their journeys in books and lectures. And now, through platforms like YouTube, we don’t have to wait for them to be labeled “heroes.” We can follow their journeys as they happen, cheering them on.

This is exciting, but it also has a dark side. With so many people sharing their success stories and insights—just a few steps ahead of us—it’s easy to feel like their path is the "right" way. We start believing we can “optimize” our own lives, cut out the unnecessary parts, and achieve success faster by following their exact steps. But that’s not how it works.

The truth is, you can’t simply repeat someone else’s journey to reach your goals. You’re different, your circumstances are different, and the world is constantly changing. What worked for someone else might not work for you now.

Here’s my own experience: I decided to major in physics because I wanted to understand how the universe works. At the time, the only path I could see to becoming a physicist was through college and graduate school. Back then, there were some sensational stories of musicians finding success without college degrees, but I believed physics was different.

Fast forward to now, and things have changed. You can dive deep into the world of physics without ever setting foot in a traditional classroom. Instead of learning from just the professors and peers at one institution, today there are countless resources—books, e-learning platforms, YouTube lectures from top universities. I’ve even heard of teenagers exploring graduate-level physics purely through online resources. The landscape has shifted a lot in my lifetime.

It's valuable to hear everyone’s stories—their challenges, what they tried, and how they succeeded. It’s like getting a preview of a marathon course, knowing where the uphill climbs are, where the winds might push you back, and where the water stands are placed. But even with all that insight, your race will be uniquely yours.

Stop trying to meticulously optimize your success. Sometimes, it's the seemingly irrelevant or fun detours that enrich your journey. They add joy, spontaneity, and in time, may even be what sets you apart and leads to your unique brand of success.

Next week, I’m hosting a workshop to help you uncover what truly excites and fulfills you and create an action plan. Break free from the Optimization Trap and start building a path to success on your terms. Ready to start? Register here: https://forms.gle/EJeNrxkpXhwQ7W5P6.

The Struggle Behind Women Leaders’ Success - Timeline Trap

 We live in a time where women are told they can break barriers and achieve anything. The opportunities available today far exceed those that past generations could ever dream of. With so much progress made, it feels like the world should be wide open for women to thrive.

Yet, despite these advancements, many women still feel stuck. Maybe you relate—you feel empowered by the possibilities, but at the same time, there’s a nagging sense that you’re not moving fast enough. People say, “You can do anything,” but all you hear is, “Why haven’t you achieved more by now?”

This pressure to succeed quickly can feel overwhelming, and leave you questioning whether you're falling behind, even when you're working hard.

In our last episode, we discussed the impact of Limited Role Models, Shifting Values, and the Box of Chocolate Mindset. In this episode, we'll dive into the Timeline Trap—the pressure many women feel to meet external expectations about when and how success should unfold.

The reality is that everyone’s circumstances are different. I know women with supportive partners who can fully focus on their careers, others who prioritize raising their children, and some who care for aging parents or navigate single motherhood. Your timeline is uniquely yours, and it’s okay if it doesn’t match the “traditional” expectations.

It's natural to think, “I should have X by now,” or “Everyone else has X at my age,” even when we know these thoughts don’t align with our personal journeys. But let’s be real—it’s hard to just turn off that comparison switch, no matter how much we understand it logically. These feelings are deeply ingrained, especially in a society that constantly pushes timelines and milestones.

Instead of trying to suppress these thoughts, what if you could anchor yourself to something stronger—your own values and vision? When you’re clear on what truly matters to you and what you’re working toward, those external pressures lose some of their power. You’ll still feel the sway of comparison, but your anchor will keep you grounded, helping you move forward in your own time, on your own path.

By focusing on your true north, you’re better equipped to weather those moments of doubt and stay aligned with the direction you want to go. It’s not about silencing the noise completely—it’s about staying grounded and swaying less.

That’s exactly what my upcoming workshop is designed to do. You’ll gain clarity on what truly excites and fulfills you, build a vision for the ideal role that fits you, and create a roadmap for your future—one that’s anchored in your priorities, not someone else’s timeline. This will help you escape the Timeline Trap and stay focused on what truly matters to you. Ready to take that first step? Join me: https://forms.gle/EJeNrxkpXhwQ7W5P6

Why Do Women in Leadership Still Feel Trapped? - Box of Chocolate Mindset

Today’s world presents women with opportunities that previous generations could only dream of. For the first time, we have access to career paths and choices that our grandmothers never thought possible, and we’re encouraged to aim for the stars and achieve anything we desire.

But despite these advancements, why do so many women still feel stuck? Maybe this sounds like you—you feel empowered, knowing the possibilities are endless, but at the same time, you’re unsure where to begin. People say, “You can do anything,” yet you’re left thinking, “I don’t see a perfect choice for me.”

In our last episode, we discussed the impact of Limited Role Models and Shifting Values. Today, we’re diving into what I call the Box of Chocolate Mindset—an outdated framework that many of us still lean on when making decisions about our careers.

For decades, the formula for success was straightforward: go to a good school, get a job at a reputable company, and you were set for life. This was the path for my father’s generation—choices were pre-defined, and success was measured by titles and the name of your employer.

But today’s world has changed. With increased life expectancy and more fluid career paths, many of us find ourselves reinventing our careers multiple times. We’re no longer confined to one job for life. Personally, I’ve navigated from academia to the tech industry, navigated from bottom to top in data science, and now I’m an entrepreneur. None of these paths (aka chocolates) existed in the box of chocolates. I had to create my own chocolate (aka path), based on my own desires and vision for the future.

This experience isn’t unique anymore—it’s becoming the new norm. The traditional “safety” of a big company is fading with the rise of frequent reorgs and layoffs. Many people feel trapped, holding on to jobs that no longer fulfill them out of fear. But here’s the hard truth: clinging to the familiar doesn’t guarantee security anymore.

While this uncertainty might feel daunting, it also presents an exciting opportunity. The people who will thrive are those who figure out what truly excites them and use that as their anchor. Relying on old ways—choosing from limited options or accepting whatever comes our way—will only lead to lateral moves with little growth. However, by anchoring yourself to your ideal role and creating your own path, you’ll spiral upward, even through uncertainty.

I'm hosting a workshop exactly for this: "I know I should do something, but what?!" You'll walk away with a clear action plan for your success. Ready to do something now? Join me: https://forms.gle/EJeNrxkpXhwQ7W5P6

What’s Holding Women Leaders Back? - Shifting Values

We live in a world where women are told that the sky’s the limit—that we can achieve anything we set our minds to. For the first time in history, we have access to opportunities that our grandmothers couldn’t even dream of. My grandmother wasn’t allowed to go to school. My mother could study, but building a career wasn’t an option for her. Now, we’re encouraged to pursue our goals and thrive in our careers.

But despite these new opportunities, why do so many women still feel stuck? Does this sound like you? You feel empowered, like the possibilities are endless, but at the same time, you’re unsure where to begin. People say, “You can do anything,” but you’re left asking yourself, “How do I actually make that happen?”

In our last episode, we talked about the Limited Role Models available to women. Today, we’re focusing on Shifting Values. The expectations of the past still have a powerful influence on us today. Women are conditioned to balance traditional nurturing roles with ambitious career goals, which can create an overwhelming mental load.

Society has changed significantly over the past three generations. In my grandmother's time, women were expected to be good daughters, wives, and mothers—fulfilling those roles set the course for their lives. My father's generation, while predominantly focused on men, emphasized the importance of studying hard, securing a stable job, and remaining there for life. The definition of success was clearer and relatively straightforward. Now, we find ourselves in a very different era, yet traditional values still influence us.

Many women feel pressured to excel as good daughters, wives, and mothers while also striving to be successful career women. This creates an overwhelming checklist of expectations, making it harder to achieve everything. It’s no wonder we often hear thoughts like "I'm not good enough." If you excel as a daughter, wife, or mother but struggle in your career, you may feel inadequate. Conversely, if you have a successful career but don't feel you are a perfect daughter, wife, or mother, the same feelings arise. This struggle contributes to imposter syndrome.

Additionally, more women are now working in fields previously dominated by men, which can invite doubt and skepticism about their capabilities. This often leads women to adopt the mindset of "I should be able to handle this on my own." While this mentality fosters strength and achievement, it can also drain energy and increase the likelihood of giving up on their dreams.

Lastly, traditional views of men as leaders—both in the family and workplace—persist. Women may grapple with negative beliefs such as "I shouldn't hold a higher title than my husband" or "I shouldn't earn more than him," which can stifle their ambition.

As we look to the future, we anticipate that the next 30 years will bring even more significant changes than the last. Not only will society evolve, but so too will social values. What may seem unacceptable now could become the norm in the future. One thing is clear: the idea of a "safe" or "settled" path is becoming increasingly obsolete.

So what should we do about it? Now more than ever, it’s essential to know what you truly want and use that as your true north to navigate the ever-changing landscape. Clarity on what excites you, the impact you want to make, and your core values will help you steer through uncertainty. When you align with these inner drivers, you no longer need external validation or follow someone else’s path. You can create your own.

If you feel like it's not easy to get clarity on what excites you, consider joining the workshop I'm hosting. It's called, "I know I should do something, but what?!" You will walk away with:

• Clarity on the aspects that make up your ideal role (hint: it’s easier than you think!).
• Understanding of the biggest gap between your current or past role and your dream role.
• A clear action plan for your first step toward that ideal career. 🎯

Join me: https://forms.gle/EJeNrxkpXhwQ7W5P6