Why Do So Many Women Leaders Feel Like They’ve Hit a Wall? - Optimization Trap

I remember reading biographies of great figures and wondering why there weren’t any heroes in the present day. As a kid, I thought it would be amazing to live in a time of heroes. But as I grew up, I realized heroes do exist—they’re just not labeled as such yet. In college, I started finding these heroes in real time by following their journeys in books and lectures. And now, through platforms like YouTube, we don’t have to wait for them to be labeled “heroes.” We can follow their journeys as they happen, cheering them on.

This is exciting, but it also has a dark side. With so many people sharing their success stories and insights—just a few steps ahead of us—it’s easy to feel like their path is the "right" way. We start believing we can “optimize” our own lives, cut out the unnecessary parts, and achieve success faster by following their exact steps. But that’s not how it works.

The truth is, you can’t simply repeat someone else’s journey to reach your goals. You’re different, your circumstances are different, and the world is constantly changing. What worked for someone else might not work for you now.

Here’s my own experience: I decided to major in physics because I wanted to understand how the universe works. At the time, the only path I could see to becoming a physicist was through college and graduate school. Back then, there were some sensational stories of musicians finding success without college degrees, but I believed physics was different.

Fast forward to now, and things have changed. You can dive deep into the world of physics without ever setting foot in a traditional classroom. Instead of learning from just the professors and peers at one institution, today there are countless resources—books, e-learning platforms, YouTube lectures from top universities. I’ve even heard of teenagers exploring graduate-level physics purely through online resources. The landscape has shifted a lot in my lifetime.

It's valuable to hear everyone’s stories—their challenges, what they tried, and how they succeeded. It’s like getting a preview of a marathon course, knowing where the uphill climbs are, where the winds might push you back, and where the water stands are placed. But even with all that insight, your race will be uniquely yours.

Stop trying to meticulously optimize your success. Sometimes, it's the seemingly irrelevant or fun detours that enrich your journey. They add joy, spontaneity, and in time, may even be what sets you apart and leads to your unique brand of success.

Next week, I’m hosting a workshop to help you uncover what truly excites and fulfills you and create an action plan. Break free from the Optimization Trap and start building a path to success on your terms. Ready to start? Register here: https://forms.gle/EJeNrxkpXhwQ7W5P6.